Ok, for the first time in my life I laughed so hard I 'bout peed on myself. Jebus!
Ah, I’m not the only one then…good.
You want to have sex with a TP dispenser? 
Holy…er, crap. Are you talking about one of those nefarious double-fold sheet dispensers? Those suck – you can’t use any of these helpful suggestions because the paper is in sheets, not on a roll. I’ve only seen those in ancient shopping centers, and they just installed one? Fie, I say, fie! Yeah, it looks like you’re stuck bringing your own roll.
I’m worried about Lobsang. Where is he? Did he hold it so hard that his entire body was sucked through his sphincter into some kind of strange (and messy) alternate universe? Or did he simply explode, leaving an unholy (and messy) disaster area for a co-worker to clean up? Or did he go to Sears and go in the dressing room?
Maybe he found one of those black & red shoe buffers.
They’d be a mighty compelling temptation if paper’s scarce.
Adjust it–with a swift, hard kick.
All the TP you need, after that.
Of course, you could just start bringing a goose to work with you.
I’ve seen worse bathrooms, actually. The worst had an enclosed roll dispenser, with only the bottom open to access the roll, mounted below the level of the damn toilet. Plus the spindle was really stiff, so you had to expend a hellacious amount of effort just to scrape off a single square of paper.
First I want to say, ewww Mental Picture and Second I want to say I know what you mean, I hate those too.
Lastly goodnight.
If I may take a moment to speak witht the designers of toilet stalls…doors should always open OUT!!!
I am sick and tired of having to stradlle the toilet to get the door closed!
Or a bunny rabbit…
My left eybrow hurts.
Lobsang … a word in yer ear …
1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=10
You’re welcome.
You’ve inadvertantly hit the nail on the head.
The point is it takes to friggin long to gather enough sheets for one wipe.
Start eating corn-on-the-cob for lunch and kill two birds with one stone.
High-fiber intake + TP substitute = Problem solved
Eek!
What a thread… but I know what you mean!