Lately I’ve been feeling downright crotchety at work. Cranky and irritable. I don’t tolerate fools well. The problem is that my apparent definition of a fool is pretty wide. Some examples:
We’re on month 6 of a large project. This morning in a requirements review meeting, one of the QA guys started asking about functionality that we’d hashed out, documented and agreed to (and presumably have already coded) three months ago. Some of the developers also started asking about details from way back. That freaks me out because they’re inclined to ask us to change them without paying any attention to the resulting rework requirements. So where a chill person would just think “eh, they’re just thinking about this old stuff”, I’m getting an edge in my voice and a hard stare.
Then later, one of the developers emails to ask about a generic “fallback” error message. We’ve been over and over it. They asked for the message to begin with, so why is she confused now? My compatriot BA is replying to her thankfully, because I’m sorely tempted to give her a Usenet-worthy scathing reply, which wouldn’t be very nice.
Why am I so impatient? Is it unreasonable to expect these people to remember stuff we all agreed to just a few months ago? For the love of Jesus on a cracker, I’m turning 53 this year, no longer have the iron-clad memory of my youth, but I’m somehow able to remember this stuff.
Also, as part of moving forward with new requirements, people are proposing ideas, which by itself is a good thing. However, they’re occasionally proposing things that would mean we’d have to rewrite/re-code stuff we’ve already done, and it’s all I can manage to not jump on the table and scream NO YOU BLOODY FOOL WE’LL HAVE TO START OVER AGAIN!!
Anybody have meds for this condition? It’s so bad that I’m annoying myself.
Yes, except that this has been a trend with me for the last - oh, five years or so. And I do take 1-week or 2-week vacations. What i’ve noticed is that my vacation mellow wears off after about 2 weeks and then I’m back to hating my coworkers.
I should add that it’s not just work. When I’m driving, I’m also like “move your ass!”, “fuck you!” and “get the fuck out of my way!”.
I stomp quickly around the grocery store with the only goal to get what I need and get out of there as quickly as possible. People who block aisles almost get pushed out of my way. I shop with my assassin’s hard stare firmly in place, which actually does get most people out of my way so it’s rare to jostle people.
it’s not even really that I hate people. I just can’t stand dithering or stupidity.
Isn’t software development great!!! Really, it’s the people isn’t it? Where else could you work with people like that? And it’s never routine, we get to change every day. Why, most of us love it so much that even when we’re on vacation we keep in touch with the office by phone and email constantly. We are so freakin’ lucky!!!
One day, my wife and I saw you at the grocery store. You were that woman who had her shopping cart in the isle and would walk to the shelf, grab an item and then angrily throw it into the bottom of the mostly empty cart.
“Wow…”, my wife commented, “…that woman must really hate her groceries.”
Actually, I usually go shopping with my husband. My favorite thing is to leave him with the cart and forge ahead quickly for items, bringing them back in twos or threes to the cart. I’m like a retriever, fetching ducks and bringing them back. When I don’t have the cart, I can squeeze between people and go really fast.
Funny story that actually happened last week: I was doing the above, had grabbed two packages of canadian bacon and I knew that hubby was approaching. I decided to toss the bacon into the cart as I passed by him enroute to the next item, meaning that neither of us would have to stop. Exactly as I tossed the bacon into the cart, he said “Excuse me!” and I realized it wasn’t him. It was another guy of approximately the same height and build and the same little cart (our store has carts in two sizes). I was SO embarrassed, said “I’m so sorry!”, took my bacon and fled, laughing at my own stupidity.
Very ironic… Trying to post this too quickly after the last post (I know, I should have included it in my multiquote). "Try again in 31 seconds… 19 seconds… 2 seconds… :smack:
Do you give yourself time? Not just time off like a vacation, but time in the sense that commuting takes 30 minutes, so you plan on 45, and a meeting takes 60 minutes so you plan on 90. You think a project will take a month to complete, so you promise it in three months.
I find that I lose patience and get most annoyed by other people when I’m on a tight schedule and have no slack left. If I build in enough slack, I’m not under the same kind of pressure and feel totally different about events around me.
Not that real life always accommodates this kind of scheduling…
Every time in my life when I start to feel a little superior to everyone else. Every time I start to feel smarter than others. Every time I feel indispensable to the project/job. Every time I start to feel an elevated sense of entitlement and impatience with the fools whom I’m forced to tolerate gladly… Invariably, every one of those times, the universe has a way of smacking my ass as a reminder to calm the fuck down and be humble, because it doesn’t actually revolve around me.
Some people may think I’m crazy, and it may sound crazy, but it took me years to figure this one out.
I get like the OP describes when I eat too many refined carbs. I’m not kidding. Once I figured this out, I looked back at my life and parts of it finally made sense. I think my mother had this, too. I don’t react immediately, which is why it eluded me for so long. It takes a couple of weeks to show up and then a couple of weeks to correct once I change my diet. I have repeated this cycle enough times now to see the connection.
I am impatient and mildly OCD to start with, so already prone to being annoyed with people in general. But I notice a difference when I have been hitting the carbs, like around the holidays or vacation. If I manage my carbs, I’m downright happy, helpful and pleasant. I hate the person I become when I fall off the wagon, so I keep it in check. I splurge here and there and have figured out how much I can have and remain calm and polite. If I get off track, I correct it quickly.
I suspect others in my family have this. My nephew started gaining weight a few years ago and started having temper tantrums at age 9 when he hadn’t before. It could be coincidence, but my sister won’t even entertain the notion that it could be nutritional.
Hmm, I know it sounds like I was describing myself this way, but I don’t think I’m really this bad. Sometimes I feel superior, like why do I have to point to where it’s already documented and read it to them, JEEZUS! But I never think IK’m indispensible or entitled. Last week the universe smacked me down in the form of effectively torturing my dog in front of me and all I could do was try to keep him calm while waiting for the euthanasia needle and all that did was make me even crankier and more pissed off at the world.
I totally hear you on this one. I do get the same issue and noticed it a while back. But I don’t eat refined carbs. In fact, last year I tried going Paleo (just meat and veg, as few carbs as possible) and started losing weight. But my cholesterol shot up into the danger zone so I had to stop that. A few months ago I consulted an actual certified nutritionist to ask how to eat better and not gain weight and she just told me to add grains back into my diet and get more exercise. (I didn’t need a professional to tell me that, it’s common knowledge.)
a. I exercise at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes at a time. It helps to keep my mood balanced and lets me sleep better. IDK about you, but this problem is 10K worse for me if I’m tired.
b. I try to schedule some ‘chill pill’ time every day. For me, it’s porch swing with book, or music practice… something. I find a glass of wine enormously helpful as well, but YMMV. Scotch on the rocks, meditation, whatever works for you.
The work situation cannot be remedied, in my experience. I keep M&Ms in my desk (or similar) for just such emergencies.
