Recovering alcholic here.
To add to what others have said, you may want to consider that you might have been self medicating for depression, which is a losing proposition. Checking with a doctor might be an option for you.
It’s some awful shit, isn’t it? [Yes booze, I love you too]
Before and during my time in the service, mostly while I was completely alone and away from home, I was doing a good twelve pack a night - and that’s when I wasn’t at the bar.
It was horribly wasteful, and I generally try to go without during the week at all and grab a few brews at home on weekends.
I virtually never go out to drink anymore, because of the expense and fear of doing so and thinking of getting behind the wheel. If I meet friends at the bar, maybe once every two or three months, I always end up leaving hours before they do. I miss the interaction, but not the possible consequences.
Dinsdale, you say different strokes for different folks, but you still judge the route others choose even when you try to speak from a personal viewpoint:
“Your consciousness/being”? Try using “My” instead. For others that may be giving it exactly the appropriate weight and focus.
And surely you don’t doubt the value and success that AA has had for others, do you? So it’s not right for you; why put it down? The people who use twelve step programs are also being responsible. They too are using their will power.
Someone I love dearly was able to stop cold turkey without assistance. I would have been just as proud of someone who humbled herself to ask for help. Actually, maybe too much pride is part of her problem. Who knows?
Congratulations in finding solutions that work for you!
Miss Jean Louise, I didn’t see you romanticizing the problem. You said it just right. Now that you’ve told us, can you tell a friend in your “real time” life – someone who can help you think clearly about this?
She’s far from the only one to do so. There’s even a book called “Drinking: A Love Story.”