I Pit Carbon Dating

There’s no use for it considering that after one or two half lives, it claims that the stuff you’re measuring is older than the age of the Earth. It’s totally junk science: if scientists can’t even get basic facts about the age of the Earth right, what can you believe them about?

And don’t even get me started on the huge chunk of carbon material needed to “accurately” date something. It’s a liberal socialist plot to destroy our previous material culture and replace it with the “new man”, how very Khmer Rouge of them.

And have you ever even tried to date carbon? I once asked out an inanimate carbon rod out for drinks and, being Christian, a hot monkey marriage proposal, but the frigid, lifeless bitch wouldn’t even reply to me!

sigh

Sarcasm, satire and irony is best left to Vinyl Turnip. Please, everyone, check your username. If it is not Vinyl Turnip, re-think your attempt at satire, parody and sarcasm :slight_smile:

The more you know!
ETA:

Include links when Pitting other posters

When Pitting another poster, it is considered good form to include a link to the post or posts that inspired the Pitting.** In the case of thread parodies, including a link to the thread being parodied is mandatory.** Otherwise, no one knows what you’re talking about and confusion ensues.

Time to take your funny meter in for recalibrating. It’s off.

I smiled, only because I saw this right after the “I Hate Apples” thread.

How many half lives does Schrodinger’s Cat have?

Well…at least you aren’t a real Young Earth Creationist on a wild tear, which is what I was thinking after the first paragraph.

I’d far rather someone parody them than really be one of them!

Not to worry. I sometimes start drinking this early in the day, too.

If you think dating Carbon is bad, try dating Argon. Totally inert.

And the gas. Oh, my!

It looked like I had it made when she put her neon mine, but all in all it was a pretty boron experience.

Dude, she saved the crew of the Space Shuttle and was on the cover of Time magazine; she’s totally out of your league.

Pfft! I dated Radon! Or tried. Totally uninterested in a relationship until its atomic number goes up and it’s like a whole different element. And if you hang around while it’s going through this, you get burned. They call it a gas, but it’s mostly a pain.

Lead, on the other hand, really goes down.

Hint: Being a rod, it was actually a guy. Next time, try a carbon tube.

I have no idea what’s happening here.

Me either; still no linky.

Cabron dating is even worse.

I also pit Minor Dating, and Apples, and Apple, for that matter.

I dated Argon for a while. A truly noble lover.

I pit Miner Dating. Get back in the mine!