As for the miracle of online dating, results may vary.
I’ve been seriously on OKCupid, as a poly guy, for just about two years now. I had my first date as a result…yesterday. Now granted, she’s just about as close to ideal as I could ask for, in terms of what we’re both looking for, but what I’m saying is that online dating is a journey and anyone who tells you different is probably trying to sell you a dating site membership.
I get the feeling that you should go bugger yourself.
Stranger
Actually, it is very hard to get rid of a profile on match.com. I don’t know if they still do this, but in the past even if you requested that your profile be taken down they wouldn’t do it until you had failed to log in for at least a year.
The next time you run into someone like this, try getting them to talk to you on the phone early on. You might be surprised to find that some people who are poor typers/spellers are in fact intelligent people when you speak to them.
Life is not fair, and it’s particularly unfair when it comes to meeting that special person.
Human attraction, sadly, tends to weed out the people who need it most. Social people have to take the risks, of course, but shyer people have to take even bigger risks, and overcome more resistance - from themselves as well as others. It’s also something you do better when you pursue it coolly, without really wanting or needing anyone. Lonely people need not bother unless they really have good self-mastery.
There is also all this fog about sex roles and “what wo/men want,” which should not mean as much as people make it mean. But discourse shapes reality, so it might as well mean the world. Either way, I’m convinced the fog will never clear up.
That’s quite creepy, and I don’t suspect a lot of people do the same.
I agree. “Insight” about people obtained on the sly might be very useful to a private detective, but as far as really knowing people, it’s worse than no insight at all. Nothing can replace getting to know people, even a little.
I get the feeling that you are incredibly self-absorbed since you thought I was speaking of you. I was going to offer you a bit of hopefully helpful advice once I got my thoughts together since you seemed as if a little push in the right direction would benefit you, but since you have insulted me, I no longer feel like putting forth the effort.
All that wit & charm, going to waste…
You make it sound like nobody could possibly be attracted to shy, awkward, lonely people. What about other shy, awkward, lonely people? 
It’s not like you’re the only shy person in a world full of beautiful, arrogant prom queens. I’m sure there are some introverted ladies who would welcome meeting an introverted guy who understands where they come from (I used to be one of them until I finally got together with my current boyfriend).
Of course, the problem with being shy is that if you aren’t putting yourself out there at all, people don’t know how to find you even if they would be crazy about you if they got to know you. It’s certainly not realistic for anyone to expect to have adoring fans throwing themselves at you (unless you are very rich or famous of course - something that awkward nerds can achieve but that I wouldn’t count on).
I think it is more helpful to look at how you can find the courage to make the effort to put yourself out there - and accept rejection is part of the game - than to look at it as if you’re doomed to never find anyone.
Your original reply was annoying. People are making legitimate complaints about their problems with the dating sites. Complaints that tons of people have had over the years. And, your response is to minimize their complaints and just say they like to complain. If I were to take your original response as a reflection on the amount of thought that goes into a post I would say Stranger is better off that he insulted you.
back to the op on why, some dating sites won’t let you delete your profile, as every one they have increases how much they can charge for ads. I eventually had to remove all the text from my profiles and set all questions to null-answer to keep from being spammed by Indian engineers.
Unless its kiddie porn found in a secret folder
Bullshit. If you had “hopefully helpful advice,” you would have written it. Instead, you posted a snarky, pointed comment (whether directed at me or not), and then waved hands and played victim when called out on it. Passive-aggressive much?
Stranger
What kind of loser does this? If incessant flattery is the kind of thing that boosts your ego, sit at a bar alone for 10 minutes. You’ll get the compliments you so richly deserve *and *free whiskey. I guess this is more like an ego boost for women who aren’t thirsty and do not wish to leave the house? Now they’re just lazy.
I know one of these. She is also a raging alcoholic who is very unhappily married, she posts a 15 year old pic, with her age posted as the age when pic was taken (26 iirc). She is terrified of the rejection that her current condition and and addictions would elicit. She won’t leave the house because she is to ripped to drive, and wouldn’t invite anyone over because she is married…so she just tends to drag things out online. Sadly, she is still really pretty, but has numerous health problems secondary to long term drug and alcohol abuse.
Try expanding your comfort zone a bit couple years younger/older. If you are opting out of women with children or multiple children, give it a look. Many people on the fringes of your search criteria may be perfectly viable candidates. I post an ad and get 3-4 meets easily, I am 5’10" and 400 pounds.
I had a friend of a friend who asked how anyone meets anyone via personal ads because he only gets 3-5 matches.
Single female thin caucasian over 5’8" within 5 miles of his zip code. He seemed offended that he might consider something other than thin or athletic. He also did not wish to consider non white matches.
The woman I have been seeing is quite beautiful by any standard, chubby, yup, has 4 kids, yup. She seems to genuinely like me, I like her, the rest doesen’t matter so far.
:rolleyes:
I am genuinely pleased for you both, but please be aware that for many folk the above statements are internally inconsistent - your argument basically condenses into “Lower your standards” - I think we all know that this leads to getting laid more often…
Or another way to take it would be to use different standards.
Yup, but the nature of standards is that there’s an ordering to them… I suppose you’re saying change the ordering*. Fine, but for most folk elephants with wizard’s sleeves will never be near the top.
*Would you disagree with that? I don’t think you can.