I Pit my dad for unironically pointing out that he retired at 50, and that at 36, I've never worked

If he weren’t such a selfish jackass, with a wife who needed him, I would’ve finished college, and maybe even grad school, 10 years ago! But you got what you wanted, so there’s that.

So how does that prevent you from having a job?

I’d love to hear how you’ve supported yourself for 36 years without a job. Really, I would.

I’m disabled, so SSI.

I thought you didn’t go to college because of the bladder incident?

In fairness I don’t think you should count the first half of those against the OP :slight_smile:

I’m not sure how him being selfish would effect you finishing college.

Also - if he is retiring - and can fully support himself - I don’t see how that is unironic.

He should have kept working and given you the money to go to grad school, because reasons!

I think we need a bit more background information.

Yeah, I’m going to need to know what your dad did to prevent you from graduating from college, and how exactly going to college/grad school would have prevented you from developing a disability that evidently prevents you from working. I’m also curious as to what the “bladder incident” is all about…

I’m guessing that some people reading this thread aren’t familiar with how difficult job-hunting can be when the applicant needs to use a wheelchair to get around. Not impossible, of course, but considerably more difficult with than without. But I’ll let etv78 explain more about that.

We’re living in a time when even the able-bodied can have a very hard time finding work, the disabled have it even worse.

Ok - well not all of us can remember who has what issue. He only mentioned he was “disabled”. Being blind or in a wheelchair are serious disabilities and are a much more accurate and helpful description than a generic “disabled”.

Not to be cynical, but it seems odd to NOT mention that in the OP.

There’s not much to go on here.

Which was all his dad’s fault because he forced him to move in with his brother. Do try to keep up.

I only remember it because my spouse has a milder version of the same birth defect. And my spouse, despite being able to walk unaided, has faced an enormous amount of discrimination in the job market because of it. Most of his life he’s been self-employed because no one would hire him.

The other problem is that if etv78 does get a paying job he’ll lose all his SSI disability, for good. Once he’s worked for someone else he won’t be getting it back because he’ll have “proved” he’s capable of working and therefore no longer disabled even if he’s still using a wheelchair. That will also likely mean he’ll lose his health coverage as well, at least until he can get onto some sort of Obamacare policy and for someone with on-going medical issues that can be extremely rough.

Unless he can step directly into a middle-class level job with comparable income he might be better off where he currently is. The way the system is, he might well be better off NOT working and continuing to collect disability. I realize that chaps the backside of a lot of folks but he didn’t write the rules, he just has to live by them.

If I recall, those on disability can earn up to a certain amount of money on the side and he might look into a small sort of self-employment income generator but really, it’s unfair of his father to rub his nose in the economics of the situation. From what I recall, his dad is able-bodied and in a totally different situation.

Is bladder shorthand for Blackadder?

No, fuck YOU, Dad !

It’s extremely cruel for a father to say this to his disabled son.

It is about the same as a man telling his wife of 30 years he is divorcing her because [after 3 kids] she is fat and has never worked a day in her life. [You try running a household with 3 growing kids …]

That’s not necessarily true, as you said. And just for the record, living in a wheelchair doesn’t always condemn you to living off the government’s tit for the rest of your life. My school counselor was practically quadriplegic, he had full use of just his left arm and could barely use his right, but that didn’t stop him from having a career – just one of many examples.

It was a banner fucking year at the old Bender family. I got a Pit thread. The old man grabbed me and said, “Hey, post up Johnny!” All right? So go home and cry to your daddy. Don’t cry here, okay?