Not really. I want to get my name off the mortgage. That’s why I’m going to see a lawyer.
That’s the spirit.
I think the lawyer will have good news for you; you should be able to get your name off the mortgage, and since your ex has such strong ties to the house, she should pay you back for what you paid into the mortgage while you were together and just take over the whole thing herself. Since you’re good with whatever you get, you should be able to negotiate a buy-out price that suits both of you.
Did you just sign the mortgage, or did you also co-sign the note? There’s a difference.
Regardless, speaking to an attorney about this is a good idea.
Not in most states any more.
I am the co-signer for the mortgage.
I also want to note:
When she asked for the divorce, she said it had been building for about a year. Conventiently, in that year, we refinanced the house, bought new appliances (washer, dryer, and fridge - about $1600) AND a new HVAC system ($6000 - I am the co-sgner on that loan, too). She also had shoulder surgery ($20k’s worth).
I’ll give her credit, though. She did fuck me over pretty good. It must run in her family. I could tell you plenty about her brother and father.
If your instinct is that they are cheating, they are. If you instinct is that a person is lying, they are.
I followed my instincts in February and clicked on a Myspace inbox…
Bottom line is, your instincts are something beyond reason but should be trusted and strongly weighed.
If you co-signed the note, you are responsible for paying back the loan. If you signed the mortgage (without signing the note), you merely pledged the house as collateral for the loan, but didn’t agree to be responsible for paying the loan. In the latter case, you run the risk that the house could be foreclosed due to non-payment, and you will be evicted, but that is basically moot if you no longer live there.
IANyourlawyer, YMMV, rules vary by jurisdiction, etc.
It’s this one. I know for a fact that she won’t want to lose the house. I’m not sure what I would do if they came to me for a payment, though. I could refuse, I suppose, but they could sue me. One way or another, I’m not paying a single cent no matter what I have to do.
Ultimately, I believe she’ll refinance with her new husband. More power to them, I say.
Do NOT call the mortgage company; why give them information they don’t need? Calling them will do nothing but raise a red flag and cause an alert to be placed on your payment record. Tell them your sad story and they will say “Uh oh,” but not where you can hear them say it.
DO get yourself a lawyer, as you should have done long ago, and learn what can be done legally to get yourself off that mortgage hook. She can live in that house forever and you are stuck making payments. Do NOT hope that her new guy will take over the mortgage: Why should he when you are already responsible for it? Would you give a stranger your car and hope he will make the payments on it? Who do you think your loan company would come after?
It DOES NOT matter that she cheated; that part of your life is over and done with. The ONLY thing you should be concerned with is saving your ass and the only way you are going to do that is with the assistance of a LAWYER: GET ONE NOW!!!
I’m just assuming, but I wouldn’t put it past her to not do it. Then again, I’m sure she whats to get me out of her life as much as I want her out of mine. I’m going to look for a lawyer this week.
Ok, let me see if I get this straight. You got divorced, got to keep all your stuff and you get to rid yourself of some lying whore you married? Sounds win-win to me.
Quit your bitching and move on. It’s not like you still are in love or anything. You’re just pissed off because she banged some dude without you knowing about it. You’ll be much happier once you start focusing on looking for a new relationship than worrying about the old one.
You don’t hear Euphonious Polemic complaining because he tasted my ball sweat every time he made out with her, do you?
By the way, I’m your real dad.
Ah, your kind loving words comfort me in my time of need.
Moving right along, nothing to see here.
It isn’t moot, because if it goes into default/foreclosure, even though you’re no longer living there, then your credit could be ruined. Go talk to a lawyer immediately.
Getting a lawyer is a good idea.
I’m sorry that you’ve had such unpleasant experiences with Christians. We are not supposed to set ourselves up as judges. We mess up a lot.
This is sort of a hijack to the OP, who said he did co-sign the loan, and who’s credit is in jeopardy for non-payment of the loan. However, not everyone who signs the mortgage does so because they took out the loan. Some people will sign the mortgage because they have an ownership interest in the house, and so they have to be willing to pledge the house as collateral in order for the bank to be able to foreclose the house for loan default (the catch is that the bank won’t be willing to give out the loan unless all people who have an ownership interest in the house pledge it as collateral).
This is not a financial obligation, and it doesn’t affect one’s personal credit. A foreclosure of a mortgage is not the same thing as being personally obligated on the note.
The deed to the house is in her name alone. When we decided to refinance, she could not do so based on her credit alone, so we did it together with me as the co-signer. I am just as obligated to pay the loan as she is. If they don’t receive a payment from her, they’ll go to her first and then come to me if they can’t get her.
The loan company told me this point blank - if she does not pay, I will be expected to do so. My credit score is at risk if she’s even so much as late on the payment (just like any other credit). I still have access to the loan payment info online and she has been making the payments on schedule.
Even if she pays like clockwork, it would be better for you to have no abiding interest in her whatsoever, right? You don’t want to have to explain to your next girlfriend how you are still enmeshed with your ex financially or in any other way. At the very least, you have to think about her once a month when you check online that she made her monthly payment. Get out of it so that you can be completely severed from her. It might also annoy her, which would be a nice side effect, though IMO you should do it completely through your lawyer and not talk to her at all about it, even if she wants you to. Then, you’ll be free of her and I bet you’ll start to feel better.
Of course, technically, if she continues to pay on time, it’ll make my credit score look good. However, it’s definitely NOT worth it.
Interstingly, I still have online access to her Discover card as well even though I am no longer listed on the account. I tried to get her to change the password, but she wasn’t interested since she doesn’t go online.
I’d definitely recommend the help of a lawyer to untangle your financial interdependence. Besides dealing with the responsibility of raising the kids (that sounds like a non-issue for you, since you didn’t indicate that the two of you had any kids together), I’d say that this is the most important reason to not just do the “simple” divorce you already completed, but to actually arrange for a formal split of your relationship - this means getting a lawyer involved.
Yeah, you need to get your finances untangled. Your ex still has you with access to her credit card? I’d get all of this fixed as soon as possible; your ass is swinging in the breeze in many ways here. The two of you are coming across as completely naive financially; that will usually bite you in the butt eventually.