[QUOTE=Malthus]
I do not quite agree that all that is necessary is honest, successful communication, or rather I suspect that communication can only be truly honest and successful on this particular point when people have emotional control beyond the ordinary - thus "free of issues’, such as jealousy, that the ordinary person typically has.
[/QUOTE]
And I think (based on being one myself, and a lot of discussion with other poly folks) that this is a myth. We DO feel jealousy. It just means something different to us because we tell ourselves different stories about it. When a monogamous person feels jealousy, they tell themselves a story like, “I’m not good enough, or he’d only love me.” or “I deserve better than to be treated like this!” or “If he fucks her, it means he’ll leave me.”
When a poly person feels jealousy, the story is more likely to be, “I’m feeling ownership of something that’s not mine.” or “I wonder what needs of mine aren’t getting met right now and why I’m not speaking up about it.” or “I hope he still loves me, too.”
I used to be monogamous, and the jealousy I felt then was the exact same jealousy I feel now - it feels dark and my ears buzz and my chest clenches and I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I start to tear up at the idea of him with someone else. It’s the words that go through my head when I feel like that which have changed.
And it’s the communication about that feeling, and about the issue it raises (getting my needs met, making sure he still loves me, too, etc.) that *makes *the jealousy go away. So yes, I think the communication is what’s key.
This might be hijacky enough for another thread, though.
[QUOTE=Diomedes]
Or they might have been drunk, and her lady juices weren’t flowing so well. There! Now you don’t have to worry about him popping her sweet anal cherry, nor do you have to worry about trying to follow up a fire hose.
[/QUOTE]
There’s giving and receiving. pepperlandgirl was speculating on who was doing the giving and who was doing the receiving.
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I did not need that image in my head. :eek:
I can’t believe my innocent comment garnered not one but two eek faces on the SDMB of all places. Allow me a moment to wax nostalgic about the old days-- this was the place I learned about felching and munging. Now you guys are a getting squeamish over a little strap-on action?
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp]
Ah, yes. Acoutical foam panels, so that nobody hears him beat the backdoor lovers to death with a bottle of Jack. You’re a devious one, TP.
[/QUOTE]
Good god no!
The acoustical foam panels are when inserting the bottle of Jack, back end in the back end.
I’d consider the cocaine optional, though I’d not look down on those who choose to use it. The thing is that she’ll probably want you to share it with her, and that’ll make the key point of the exercise_her waking up the next day with an aching asshole and you gone_more difficult. If you are going to share it, insist that she use it Stevie Nicks-style. It’ll fit in better with your theme for the evening.
[QUOTE=pepperlandgirl]
Or maybe she was fucking him.
[/QUOTE]
See, a couple days ago when I saw this thread the first time, I was very close to posting the following: “So, she was pegging some dude she’d just met, you’re jealous, and you want your back passage included in your benefits package? Dude, all you have to do is ask.”
But I figured the OP didn’t need that particular advice at the time. I’m glad someone said it though.
