For the benefit of those who don’t seem to know–WhyNot is female.
Doesn’t make the advice any less bad, though.
True, and I wasn’t saying that it did.
Can I suggest a Motown alternative?
Delphonics- ‘Didn’t I (blow your mind this time)’
I was going through various genres on my MP3 player today and that one brought me straight back to this thread. I wish the OP and his girl well, but the jury is still out on ‘happy ending’ vs ‘epic heartbreak’.
Yes, and what a female! 
(sorry about that.)
You already slipped her the sausage, so my friend Rob has nothing to contibute 
I will say this. This fuck buddy situation is not working out. Either decide to become a couple or move out and move on.
It might not have been anal, he might have just been really big.
Ah, yes. Acoutical foam panels, so that nobody hears him beat the backdoor lovers to death with a bottle of Jack. You’re a devious one, TP.
Yep. I would almost hope this was true, rather than that she’d have drunken buttsex with a guy she just met in person that night.
All right, all right. I don’t REALLY think he should propose to her. That was tongue in cheek, of course. But I do think y’all are missing the fact that their conversation went really well, and we have more information about her and her motives than we did in the OP. I think she really does like our friend here, and if he likes her (as is obvious, I think), then they should take a swing at it.
Y’know, I’m just generally a fan of communicating with the actual person I have a quandry with to arrive at solutions. Message boards are fine for bouncing ideas off of and trying out arguments, but don’t forget there are (probably) real people at the other end with a real issue, and they’re the only ones who can solve it, even if we think we know what they should do.
I didn’t think you were serious, **WhyNot, ** but I guess one has to smiley-fy things for some people.
You’re right. I’m generally a smilie abuser, and trying to reform. Guess I guessed too conservatively in this case.
Here are a few to distribute in my first post as appropriate. Consider it a puzzle of sorts:
:dubious: :o 
Well, look at the bright side!
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She still likes you.
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Now you know she has and likes anal sex. Score! You can move in on that without worrying about what her reaction will be. This is a huge advantage.
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You are free to reciprocate, and bang the hell out of some other hot girl at the crib. In fact, do her one better and invite her to join. It will show that you are not selfish and your chances of her taking you up on it are much greater than her saying no thanks. I mean, think about it. You can’t lose here.
FWB can be great, you just have to have the right attitude!
Heh, that’s just the problem. The whole set up would be great if it were not for some inconvenient things such as feelings and jealousy.
It’s the problem with polyamourousness in general - makes perfect sense in theory, but in reality it requires a group of people all of whom are free from emotional issues surrounding sex and relationships.
It may work for some, but most people I know who have tried it have ended up disliking it. People suited to this lifestyle are, I think, not very common.
Wow, it does? I don’t think so. It requires people willing to be honest, with themselves and with their lover(s), about their emotional issues surrounding sex and relationships, and to communicate clearly and negotiate wisely so no one gets hurt. It does not require that you not *have *emotional issues. Who doesn’t have emotional issues around sex? No one I’d be willing to sleep with. The very idea is chilling.
Now this, I agree with.
Or not.
Consider this explanation. The banging the guy loudly thing had everything to do with the fact she found him hot and wanted to have sex with him. The role the OP plays in this is that he’s the guy she was not thinking about in the least. Message smessage - he could have been dead for all she cared at the time.
Next day she feels a bit guilty about how loud they were and proceeds to tell the OP everything she thinks he wants to hear. Because she’s selfish and adverse to anyone being at all angry at her so she says whatever will give her a pass with no ruffled feelings.
I think it’s very possible that to this girl the OP is just like a dildo only better because this dildo pays half the rent and (presumably) cleans the bathroom occasionally.
Could be.
Or they might have been drunk, and her lady juices weren’t flowing so well. There! Now you don’t have to worry about him popping her sweet anal cherry, nor do you have to worry about trying to follow up a fire hose.
The first was just a lead up to the second. Didn’t mean to imply that the successfully polyamourous were some sort of emotional zombies, only that they had control of their feelings beyond the abilities of the average person.
I do not quite agree that all that is necessary is honest, successful communication, or rather I suspect that communication can only be truly honest and successful on this particular point when people have emotional control beyond the ordinary - thus "free of issues’, such as jealousy, that the ordinary person typically has.
Otherwise what you get is people saying that they have talked it over and so don’t feel jealousy. What this has meant in at least some cases I’ve seen is that “we discussed this very situation and you said you were okay with it” - “well, I thought I was”.