I Pit My Uterus, Redux (and TMI)

Listen up, uterus. I have had it with your passive-aggressive BULLSHIT. Kindly shut up and mind your place.

You do realize that those little pink pills I take for three weeks every month are designed to make you behave, right? To make Aunt Flo visit at the proper time, and not have her pitch a hissy-fit while she’s here.

So what honestly makes you think that starting my period two weeks early was a good idea? Or, for that matter, to make it heavier than normal (how the hell is that even possible?! There should only be half the normal amount of blood in there!), and also more painful? The Ibuprofen should be working at full strength right now, and yet, I still have waves of feeling like a vice is clamped around my abdomen. Oh, and to top it off – I have an extremely difficult midterm exam this afternoon, that I probably wasn’t going to do well on anyway, but now I can barely focus enough to write this, let alone essays on “analysis of rhetorical argumentation.” Nice timing, bitch.

Thankfully I’ve got a gynecologist appointment in two weeks, in which there will definitely be some discussion about this and most likely an increase in the estrogen dosage, to force you to behave. Because even though it’s only the second day of it, I’m already SICK of putting up with this shit.

Yeah! Stupid uterus! Better watch out or you’ll be in one of those red haz-mat bags.

I obviously don’t know your history or anything, but any chance it could be a miscarraige?

That chance is astronomically low. According to a nurse at the gyn’s office, this occurrence is “rare but not unheard of”. I guess I just got “lucky.” :rolleyes:

And thankfully, doubling up on Ibuprofen does wonders.

Have you considered alternate forms of birth control? I’ve been on Depo Provera for the last 10 years. I don’t remember the last time I had so much as a blood spot. Plus, only have to even think about birth control 4 times a year. Some initial mood swings in the first year, but those went away.

If you’ve completed your childbearing, you may wish to consider an endometrial ablation. I had one several months ago, and am out and out thrilled with the results.

Mirena.
Mirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirenamirena.

Seriously lady, think about it.
Changed my life.

In the meantime- you have my sympathy and virtual hot water bottles, hot tea and good quality chocolate.

Seconded.

Although since I had the second one* fitted, I’m still getting periods a year and a half later. I’m pretty pissed off about that, but at least I’m not at the mercy of my hormones every single day.

*Er, not two at once. I mean had another fitted after the first one was removed.

I remember my uterus very well, and not at all fondly. I had just about the whole works yanked out over 7 years ago. I do not miss my uterus, my ovaries, OR my Fallopian tubes at all.