I pit my woo woo ultracon co-worker

[Ludovic]

Working largely in the defense industry, I’m surrounded by slightly right-of-center people compared to the average educated person.

But about a year ago, someone moved into my office who was much more conservative than that. It boils down to being from a different culture: he’s a little sexist, a little racist, a little xenophobic, and a major religious conservative.

But this isn’t about him. A few months ago, a contractor came in who set new office records for blind politicization. I literally cannot think of a national event that he has brought up where he didn’t blame it on Obama or the “Liberals”. The North Korean island shelling, for instance, wouldn’t have happened if a Republican had been in office.

I thought he would have been at least sobered by the recent events in Tucson, because he didn’t bring them up for a couple days, but apparently he was just waiting for marching orders from the spin factory. So according to him, the massacre wouldn’t have happened if conservatives would have been in power, because their tough-on-crime stance would ensure that no one would try stuff like that.

He doesn’t even enter dialog. He literally doesn’t even listen to what you say when you’re trying to discuss politics with him. It’s like his eyes glaze over and the words you’re saying do not process through his brain. So not only do I try to not discuss politics with him, everyone in the office, even the fairly conservative ones, avoid discussing with him too, partly because of his disagreeing with them from the right and partly because of his monotony. The only exception is the person sharing an office room with him, because he’s sort of a captive audience. The first few times he went off on a rant, the office-mate started discussing earnestly with him, offering points and counterpoints, agreeing with him on certain issues and disagreeing with him on others, but now has learned to offer only mild agreement to anything this nutter says.

And I say nutter literally: the guy is literally insane, but that’s another story. Leaving his mental problems aside, he also believes in some woo-woo stuff, like invisible aliens and medical secrets “they don’t want you to know”. When you combine the two aspects of his personality, I am actually surprised that he’s not a Birther.

So yesterday he was talking at his office-mate about politics and he started on about how [del]he[/del] – err — “some people” – think that Vince Foster was killed by Clinton because he was dallying with Hilla…

WAIT. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONES. Vince Foster?
Vince Fucking Foster?
Really?
Really?

Before this new low in credulity, I had joked to myself that anything that comes out of his mouth regarding politics, the opposite is true. But now I have confirmed it. From now on, whatever he says, in any arena, I will assume that the complete opposite is true on first blush.

I need to say that again. Vince. Fucking. Foster. WTF?

[Shagnasty]

I understand what you are complaining about in general but I am not sure I am following the significance of the Vince Foster comment in particular. That is a very old conspiracy theory and I have heard it a bunch of times even right after Vince Foster died. Your coworker is correct when he say “some people” believe that Vince Foster was killed for having an affair with Hilary and then something, something. I don’t believe it myself of course but your coworker didn’t make that one up by any stretch. There is actually a much more elaborate version of the theory that he may have heard and decide to share at some point. I don’t think I can do it justice but it involves lots of people that the Clinton’s had killed or imprisoned after people got too close to them.

[El_Kabong]

Vince Foster was killed by Obama, who knew that if he ever ran for national office, Foster would blow the lid off his Kenyan birth and close associations with domestic terrorists. Everyone knows this.

[Turek]

There are three things you never discuss at work or in polite company: Religion, politics, and choice of operating system.

[Hal_Briston]

@Ludovic

I literally cannot think of a national event that he has brought up where he didn’t blame it on Obama or the “Liberals”.

Here’s a fun game I’ve been playing lately: Go into Yahoo News and try and find the most non-political story. Scroll down to the comments and see how long it takes you before you find some shit-for-brains making an utterly irrelevant anti-Obama/liberal comment. Bonus points for usage of the word “libtard” (extra bonus points if you can find one that doesn’t use the word “libtard”).

[Mince]

@Hal_Briston

Here’s a fun game I’ve been playing lately: Go into Yahoo News and try and find the most non-political story. Scroll down to the comments and see how long it takes you before you find some shit-for-brains making an utterly irrelevant anti-Obama/liberal comment. Bonus points for usage of the word “libtard” (extra bonus points if you can find one that doesn’t use the word “libtard”).

Here’s a fun game game I’ve been playing lately (for a long time): see how long you can avoid Yahoo “News”.

[Scuba_Ben]

@El_Kabong

Vince Foster was killed by Obama, who knew that if he ever ran for national office, Foster would blow the lid off his Kenyan birth and close associations with domestic terrorists. Everyone knows this.

That’s what They want you to think. Vince Foster was actually killed at the direction of Sen. John McCain, because Mr Foster was so politically savvy that he would have destroyed the Tea Party Movement in its first week, thereby preventing Sarah Palin from retaining national prominence two YEARS after the presidential campaign.

(Can anybody come up with a more wacky conspiracy claim? )

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Clinton also killed Vince Carter.

[davidm]

@Scuba_Ben

That’s what They want you to think. Vince Foster was actually killed at the direction of Sen. John McCain, because Mr Foster was so politically savvy that he would have destroyed the Tea Party Movement in its first week, thereby preventing Sarah Palin from retaining national prominence two YEARS after the presidential campaign.

(Can anybody come up with a more wacky conspiracy claim? )

Vince Foster didn’t die when everyone thinks he did. He lived long enough to pilot the missile that hit the Pentagon on 9/11. The physics prove this.

[Czarcasm]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Clinton also killed Vince Carter.

Shazam!

[running_coach]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Clinton also killed Vince Carter.

And Kenny.

[Czarcasm]

@runner pat

And Kenny.

You bastard!

[Scuba_Ben]

@davidm

Vince Foster didn’t die when everyone thinks he did. He lived long enough to pilot the missile that hit the Pentagon on 9/11. The physics prove this.

Just checking: That’s the physics of an ICBM with guidance fins 100 feet across fired from a shoulder-held launcher, right? Because everyone knows that’s what hit the Pentagon that day. I read it on a web site once, it must be The Truth!

[davidm]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Clinton also killed Vince Carter.

Also, Nell Carter.

[davidm]

@Scuba_Ben

Just checking: That’s the physics of an ICBM with guidance fins 100 feet across fired from a shoulder-held launcher, right? Because everyone knows that’s what hit the Pentagon that day. I read it on a web site once, it must be The Truth!

Nope. A special manned missile, piloted by Vince Foster lying inside it.

[Mince]

@davidm

Vince Foster didn’t die when everyone thinks he did. He lived long enough to pilot the missile that hit the Pentagon on 9/11. The physics prove this.

Not trying to turn this into a 9/11 thread (though you started it), but the intellectual dishonesty amazes me when I here the ‘truthers’ claim there was no aircraft debris at the Pentagon. What proof are they looking for outside of the aircraft debris?

[Mince]

@davidm

Also, Nell Carter.

Right. Gimme a break!

[Miller]

And Linda Carter. And the Carter Family. Plus, he wounded Rene Descartes.

[davidm]

@Mince

Not trying to turn this into a 9/11 thread (though you started it), but the intellectual dishonesty amazes me when I here the ‘truthers’ claim there was no aircraft debris at the Pentagon. What proof are they looking for outside of the aircraft debris?

They’re not looking for proof of anything. They’re already convinced of their beliefs and proof has nothing to do with it. Much like the OP’s cow-orker (to redirect the hijack back onto the subject at hand.)

[Czarcasm]

He got Carter Country canceled.