I pit partisan politics (weak)

The BBQ Pit
1

Me: Okay, can we fix this problem?

Side 1: Sure! Let’s get on that!

Me: Okay. Other side?

Side 2: NO WAY!

Me: Why not?

Side 2: Because Side 1 stands against everything we do! They’re hacks! Random political rhetoric-cakes inserted here!

Me: Uhm, but this is something that’s good, and has nothing to do with the stances either you or side 1 have taken…

Side 2: Nothing doing! They want it, so we MUST oppose it!

Me: But-

Side 2: LALALALAWEARENOTLISTENING! More political rhetorice-cakes!

Me: Listen! This thing, it’s IMPORTANT!

Side 2: Oh… Hey… You know… It is! We’ll support it.

Me: Finally. So, let’s get to-

Side 1: No.

Me: What?

Side 1: Side 2 supports it, and they stand against everything we do! They’re hacks! Random political rhetoric-cakes inserted here!

Me: Wait, but you just said-

Side 1: They’re FLIP-FLOPPERS, too!

Side 2: No, YOU’RE the FLIP-FLOPPERS!

Me: It’s called ‘changing your mind’. Smart people do this when they figure out their opinion was wrong.

Side 1: FLIP FLOPPER!

Side 2: DOODY HEAD!

Side 1: POOPIE DOODY HEAD!

Me: sits down and weeps as both sides start flinging sand

2

You’ve been watching C-Span again, haven’t you?

3

A few years ago I was involved in a show – The Gondoliers – which is about, among other things, two men who detest kings and royalty and priveledge and believe in equality. “We are republicans, heart and soul”, says one character.

During the time of the production, I was at a friend’s house, and I was talking about the show. His wife asked what the plot was. I said “It’s about these two gondoliers, who are repulicans…”

“Oh no!”, she interjected. “Not republicans! They’re horrible! And you want to do a show about this? That’s awful!”

The fuck?

4

I agree, let’s start the Pirate party, we’ll raid all the valuables from the other parties and leave them with only their rhetoric.

5

No, no, you must remove the goodies from their rhetoric as well, leaving them with only …

wait for it …
wait for it …
empty rhetoric!!!
(Thanks folks, I’m here all week. Try the veal.)

6

What’s a rhetoric-cake? Is it frosted?

7

Yes, but you really don’t want to know what it’s frosted with.

8

It’s sort of like a urinal cake, but without the useful sanitary and odor-reducing qualities.

9

Me too.

Thanks. Weak? (in your title) I don’t know. But at least I know I’m not alone.

10

Oh, I only called it weak because I didn’t swear a lot, nor did I burning anyone’s dog. :slight_smile:

11

I’ll have you know our party has principles and we stand on them four-square.

And they would be…?
Making sure our guys are in charge and not the guys from the other party!

12

Yar! Count me in, matey!

Our president gets a really big hat, right?

13

I’ve got swords, cloak, dagger, and an anarchist streak. I’m also in favor of Siege warfare and laying Siege. Who do we raid first?! :smiley:

CJ

14

Laying Siege? Where do I sign up?

15

With really big fucking feathers in it.

16

All you people who want to join **ArrMatey’s ** crew, be aware ArrMatey! is my mortal enemy! Avast! Have at thee!

17

Anaa, lass, ye wound me! And not in the way ye’d like…

What say we discuss this in the captain’s cabin? Ye could end up with a cabinet post if this turns out well…