[QUOTE=Omegaman]
I pray to our father our Lord in Heaven and His Holy Son to give me the courage to write this.
[/QUOTE]
There are some prayers that would better have been unanswered.
[QUOTE=Ravenman]
Who is responsible for the awful grammar and punctuation in the OP? Could it be… SATAN?
[/QUOTE]
Okay, you got me there. There was supposed to be a period after ther word sun. What if i told you it felt like there were a thousand pounds on my chest when i wrote that . Would you believe it ? Probably you would cackle like a chicken at sunrise but i shit you not, my friend. Satan is not to be trifled with. You can laugh all you want i could give a shit less, and hey , if you laugh , that makes me happy. I just thought for a second there that Satan doesn’t laugh but i’ll bet he’s laughing his ass off every day now with shit like the wholesale death and dismemberment going on in the middle east and people hanging and killing thier children pretty much every day. And the media coverage it gets is got to be the icing on the shit cake for that hate filled fucker.So what can I say ? you believe what your going to believe and i (and a few others–not the nuts,mind you) will believe what i’m going to believe and be sure that he who was among Gods most special , but now lives here among us , is going to be right thier making sure you keep on with the hate and the death and the destruction until we (every single one of us) steps up like my pal Jesus and do that one thing, however small that will turn the tide to put the filthy fuckstain Satan back where he belongs, in hell.
Well as Al Pacino (aka devils advocate) said “At least you know where you stand with him” “Gods up there laughing his ass off”
Hail Al !!
[QUOTE=Freddy the Pig]
There are some prayers that would better have been unanswered.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, like the time I prayed with no trouble and my prayer timeout was high. Stupid god zapped me with a wide-angle disintergration beam.
You sure that wasn’t a 1920s …
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn]
as some metal band once said, its better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.
[/QUOTE]
I used to say that shit too . Ive grown up a little since then
Words are tricky. Sometimes they are just on paper, sometimes they start wars.
[QUOTE=chowder]
You sure that wasn’t a 1920s …
[/QUOTE]
Pretty sure, but next time I’m renaming one of my wands of death “1920s-style death ray” anyway. I doubt it will work as well as naming a generic Elvish dagger “Sting” but hey, you never know.
[QUOTE=Biggirl]
No, no, no. That would make me the Devil’s Attorney. Oh sure, attorneys are notorious for playing the Devil’s Advocate but that’s only because they are all on his payroll.
[/QUOTE]
As What Exit’s definition indicates, the meanings are linked and “Devil’s Advocate” originally was equivalent to “Devil’s Lawyer.” This is shown more clearly in Spanish, in which the Al Pacino movie is known as El Abogado del Diablo, literally “The Devil’s Lawyer.”
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
I used to say that shit too . Ive grown up a little since then
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, you’re a real paragon of considered wisdom and mature coherence now.
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn]
as some metal band once said, its better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.
[/QUOTE]
If I go to Purgatory, can I be left alone?
[QUOTE=SnakesCatLady]
Do you think getting Pitted will hurt Satan’s feelings? I mean, Omegaman’s not even a Charter Member…
[/QUOTE]
Hey, thanks for pointing that out. That means alot around here , huh ?
Maybe your brain is older or something.
[QUOTE=Mangetout]
Shoehorn butterhorse, man, shoehorn butterhorse.
[/QUOTE]
You forgot a part man. It’s just not the same without the preceeding Mackdonna.
[QUOTE=Miller]
I gotta say, Omegaman, you really scare the shit out of me.
[/QUOTE]
I would like to know why you’re scared , friend. Is it because you’re so close, there in Ca. ? I have one vote , one voice and one life just like you . Do you think if i saw someone tring to hurt you or your family i would’nt help ? Then you don’t know me well enough to be worried. You stay in your state and i’ll stay in mine but rest assured if you ever need help i’ll be here. Maybe you just have loose bowels . Try eating some fiber man , you’ll be taking fine dumps in no time , just like a big boy.
o.k. .. that big boy might be little mean. Just some harmless ribbing man! 
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
Words are tricky. Sometimes they are just on paper, sometimes they start wars.
[/QUOTE]
Sometimes they make sense. Other times, George Carlin does a bit about them.
I’ll say one thing. You’d make street corner religious harangues entertaining.
Contrary to the popular quote, Satan’s greatest trick was convincing people he does exist. Take him out of the equation, and suddenly a lot of people would find themselves accountable for their own actions. By blaming Satan for the actions of Alejandra Estrada or Andrea Yates, you are (at least partially) absolving them of their actions. Unless you are conflating “Satan” with mental illness?
And are you of the opinion that only good has been done in God’s name?
Omegamaman, why doesn’t your pal, Jesus just snap his fingers and make Satan disappear right now? Satan was God’s idea, you know, and he exists only by God’s will. You’re mad at the wrong entity. Pitting Satan is like yelling at a ventrilolquist’s dummy.
[QUOTE=Mangetout]
Yeah, you’re a real paragon of considered wisdom and mature coherence now.
[/QUOTE]
But the thing is , and you wouldn’t know because of the intranets and all , I have the ass and will to back a cute little saying like that up . All the way to the end. It’s nice to have a large and luxuirious mouth but having it without balls just isn’t the same thing if you know what I mean.
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
It’s nice to have a large and luxuirious mouth but having it without balls just isn’t the same thing if you know what I mean.
[/QUOTE]
…and I think you do, because let’s face it, we’re all adults here.
Heh. Make that *two *beers, ya fuckin’ lunatic. 
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
… What if i told you it felt like there were a thousand pounds on my chest when i wrote that .
[/QUOTE]
Well, I’d forgive you all your spelling and capitalization and usage and grammatical errors in favor of unbridled amazement that you could type at all, under those conditions, providing, of course, that I believed you.
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
…Satan is not to be trifled with.
[/QUOTE]
My definition of “trifling” includes mocking and wasting time. Looks to me like you’re mocking Satan and (unless an SDMB Pit thread is part of Christian eschatology) wasting his time. Wasting ours, of course, is de rigeur, which is why this thread hasn’t already vanished.
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
…he who was among Gods most special…
[/QUOTE]
Okay…
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
…but now lives here among us…
[/QUOTE]
Not so okay. Evil alone is not evidence of Satan’s presence.
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
…until we (every single one of us) steps up like my pal Jesus…
[/QUOTE]
Kid, nobody likes a name-dropper.
[QUOTE=Omegaman]
…to put the filthy fuckstain Satan back where he belongs, in hell.
[/QUOTE]
Actually, if everything were to be put right according to the Almighty’s original design, wouldn’t Satan be redeemed in Heaven along with the rest of us?
Anyhow, you never answered my question. Where were you for eight hours? Is the battle against Beelzebub something you are planning to win in your spare time? Come on, our angelic hero: after you’ve declared war is no time to be soliciting recruits!
Damn, I’m unsuited for the funniest parts of the SDMB. Apparently I’m invisible to the lunatics.
I’m still interested in the ‘pocket turned out’ phrase. What does that MEAN? Does that go with the ‘ass is mine’ part to be a some kind of reference to teh ghey?