I pit the Irish Presidential election

The BBQ Pit
1

There are currently 7 candidates, the highest ever, yet I find myself faced with the choice of:

  1. a geriatric who writes bad poetry,
  2. an apologist for child abuse,
  3. a terrorist,
  4. a religious fundamentalist,
  5. a woman who ran for the Presidency without reading up on the role,
  6. a slightly-less religious-fundamentalist-but-still-pretty-damn conservative boring plank of wood,
  7. a closet-FF’er

This will be the first Presidential election that I can vote in, because we didn’t bother having one last time, and I find myself voting strategically to try and keep a terrorist out.

GAH!

2
  1. A closet Father-Fucker?
3

1 and 5 seem like your best bets… Still a shitty field.

4

FF = Fantastic Four?

5

I would guess FF refers to Fianna Fail, once the biggest political party in Ireland, now decimated following a trouncing at the last general election.

6

Oh and I would agree with the OP that this crop of candidates is not very inspiring. Unusually for me, at this point I have no idea who I will vote for.

7

A political party with the word “fail” in its name didn’t work out? Who could have predicted that?

8

Actually, they were one of the world’s most successful political parties until the last five years.

9

Translated into English, the Irish “Fianna Fail” means “Soldiers of Destiny”. However, I’m not sure that’s really better, as it makes them sound like the title of an 80’s metal album or a band of grade B superheroes.

10

Given those choices, I’ve got to pick #1.

First, he’ll appoint himself Poet Laureate, so you’ll save some money there.

Second, it won’t take too many visits from foreign heads of state being treated to “Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee,” before visits from foreign heads of states dwindle to a trickle, and that’ll save money too.

Third, he (or she) is geriatric, and may go senile, in which case the Irish nation can put him into a home, move into his mansion, sleep in his bed and eat his food, and sell off his knick-knacks and paintings for beer and cigarette money.

11

It’s pronounced closer to “fall” if that makes you feel better.

Is it possible that Davis thinks that the law requires every President to be named “Mary,” thus making her a shoe-in?

Anyway, it’s basically a sinecure, yeah? Kiss some babies, don’t get into any scandals, and they’re golden.

12

Go with the terrorist. Ireland needs to be scarier to the rest of the world. I think getting a nickname like “The Hamas of Western Europe” would do it.

13

Hmm, the state visit of a terrorist would make for some interesting headlines.

That will go down well in many nations, should help the Irish maintain visibility.

14

If the worst thing your president does is write bad poetry, I’d say you’re coming out ahead where heads of state are concerned.

15

What powers dose the Irish President have anyway. Not much.

Incientally even De Velera wanted to stay a Dominion

16

Ugh yes, spare me from the god squad anyway. At this point Micheal D is beginning to look good.

17

Incidentally, you’ll note in the poll here:

that “inanimate carbon rod” is currently quite a contender. :slight_smile:

18

That would make for interesting travel ads. “All the senseless bloodshed of Palestine, all the violent alcoholism of Finland ! The Emerald Isle: come if ya tink yer hard enuff, ye pansy”.

19

Odd that Norris is back to being a contender.

20

Do we have any indication of how good the terrorist’s poetry is?

Are any of them fat?

eta: Can you do write-in candidates in Ireland? Chuck Norris might be just what you guys need.