If you last used them to open a locked basement, my guess is that you took them into the basement with you and put them down for a minute. (This is what I usually do when I misplace stuff.) Look again for anywhere you might have put them down/in, under anything that might have been moved on top/in front of them, or anywhere they might have fallen from where you put them, including places they may have bounced behind/under or been dragged by your cats. Make sure you look *everywhere *- I’ve found things in places I *know *I’ve already looked several times.
ETA: Get the wife to look, too. It often helps to have a fresh view of things. (Literally - I’ve spent time looking for stuff that, when my wife asked what it was I was looking for, was sitting right in plain sight - but *I *didn’t see it.)
I assume the refrigerator and linen closet were among the first places you looked. In my house, that’s the first place things go when they escape the clutches of humans.
Not just under the couch cushions, but wedged down below between the springs and the arm or back is where I’ve found mysteriously missing things before. Take a look there.
This is part of the problem. My better half, She of the Sharp Eyes, is out of town this week. Hopefully, she’ll walk in on Thursday, and see them lying on an end table in a place I’ve thoroughly searched 548 times.
Is there a friend (preferably female) who could come in and look? Seriously, fresh eyes can sometimes see what’s been right in front of you without registering. I read somewhere (cite? My post is my cite, my friend) that women’s eyes are more attuned to small details, possibly because of our prehistoric mad gathering skilz.
Obligatory Stephen Wright quote:
I lost my keys once, couldn’t find them anywhere. So, I called Information. I asked the lady, “Where are my keys?” She said, “They’re behind the sofa.” I looked. They were.
I don’t carry a wallet. I keep my important cards (ATM, credit, insurance, driver’s license) in one of those little envelopes that ATM cards come in. I once got really sick and had to go to the ER. The hospital was in a dicey neighborhood, and a few dicey people approached me for spare change.
The next morning, my cards were gone. They should have been in my pants pocket, but weren’t. I checked on my bed. I checked beside my bed. I checked on the floor under my bed. (Hey, maybe the dust bunnies stole them. Fucking greedy rabbits.) I tossed my entire apartment. I looked around outside, I called the hospital’s lost and found, I did everything humanly possible. No cards.
Fucking low life theiving pickpockets. It seemed as if my entire life was stolen. I called every appropriate institution to cancel and replace everything. It was a huge pain in the ass.
As it turned out, the fucking low life theiving pickpockets had clever hidden the little envelope in a little crack in the radiator behind my bed. It was nestled there along with a few missing socks.
Look under and behind large appliances. The shit that ends up under or behind washers, driers, refrigerators, etc. is astounding. Also, if you have a TV that is wide enough to put stuff on top of it, look behind it. The tops of TV’s are often angled and made of slippery plastic. Shit put on top slides off and falls behind the TV. The carpet keeps you from hearing it.
Not elves, man. Leprechauns. Always wear at least one article of clothing inside out to avoid this problem in future. No one knows why, but it totally creeps them out.
On the up side, they’ll probably bring them back when they’re done. On the down side, they’re currently using those keys to steal everything that A. won’t be noticed missing and B. isn’t bolted down.
It’s your own damn fault for buying foreign-made shoes. Leprechauns everywhere are out of work on account of people like you.
In college I used to hang my umbrella on my room door knob. Once I lost my keys for a week (major trauma) until I found them in the umbrella - they’d fallen out of my hand and into the umbrella.
A method that worked for me:
Take another set of keys in your hand-- any keys, it doesn’t matter-- and go through exactly the motions you made when you last had your keys. See where those keys end up and that’s where the other set will be. You have to do it physically. Simply mentally retracing your movements, as you’ve doubtless done a gazillion times already, won’t work.
I lost my house keys once; the last thing I remembered doing was unlocking the outdoor utility room. During the re-enactment I found them in the winter-clothes closet in an old ratty raincoat I’d never worn. It wasn’t even mine but was abandoned there by a friend years before. The string of events leading to me dropping them in that pocket was unusual enough that I’d never have made the connection any other way.
My sofa has sneaky holes in the lining under the cushions, and stuff falls in there a lot. I had looked under the cushions a bunch of times before I found out about those holes.
We also once found our tv remote in the fridge. (when my husband loses stuff I walk around and check every surface that’s eye level, usually works with him)
Keys loathe my mom and try to escape whenever they can. She has lost them under the back seat of her car and in the trunk of her car. She had no idea how they got there.
I can totally relate to what you are going through! I lost my car key and turned the house upside down, checking everything you did. Hamper, behind furniture, in the fridge, went through garbage cans, the recycling bin, even snow jackets. Guess where I found it? Well the spouse suggested the hiding place and I blew him off. I was wearing a fleece pullover with a tunnel pocket. Yes yes I checked it a gazillion times. BUT, the key had wormed its way into a corner and ended up inside the lining. I never felt it in there, it was like he was the amazing Kreskin, until he told me he lost his keys in the same jacket!
Do you have any kids? One morning I woke up with no keys although I always put them in the same place. I looked for them for over an our before I gave up and them used my spare car key to get to work. I was worried sick all day. My wife had the following day off so she looked for them…for 8 hours. She finally found them at the very back of a toy drawer covered in toys. My 18 month old daughter took them from the bedroom and decided that the back of the toy drawer was the very best place for them.
Do you have a sister or a female friend who owes you a favor? Ask her to come over and help you look. (Yes, I know I’m superstitiously counting on the uterine tracking device, but it’s worth a try.)