Now, I normally don’t pit people, apart from myself. In fact, I’m a firm believer in minding my own damn business, and letting other people mind theirs. I’m also usually a gentle soul. I consider myself tolerant. It takes a lot to tick me off. However, every man has his limit, and this morning, dear Dopers, I discovered mine.
I live in an apartment building, on the first floor. My window faces the back yard, where there is a small common area, with some greenery, as well as some benches and tables. It’s a very nice building. People around here mostly quietly keep to themselves and mind their own affairs, just the way I like it. There’s usually never any noise or loud music, apart from every now and then on the weekends, but hey, I can live just fine with that. Now, to set this little story up properly, it must also be mentioned that I currently have a job where I start work in the afternoons on the weekdays and work until nighttime. This means that I like to sleep until late in the day, which I’m usually able to do in peace, happily undisturbed.
This morning, however, to my absolute horror, I find myself suddenly awakened, at a most inappropriate time, with all the gentleness of being kicked in the balls by a donkey. The cause of this untimely arousal is the sound of a radio, sounding like it’s in the room with me, cranked up loud enough to wake the dead, mercilessly blaring out the latest Top 40 bullshit in copious amounts.
Hang on. I don’t own a radio, and if I did, I most certainly wouldn’t be playing that manure. I curse. I get dressed. I go to investigate. I check the back yard.
Turns out there’s a guy sitting out back, reading. I’m able to deduce with a fair degree of certainty that he is the person living in the apartment directly above mine, as I quickly spot a set of huge loudspeakers positioned in the open window of said apartment, pointing outwards, spewing forth garbage all over the back yard, and, most importantly, right into my open window directly below.
I confront the obviously brain-damaged moron:
“Excuse me, sir”, I inquire tentatively, “do you know anything about this?”, pointing to the wailing monstrosity in the window.
“Uh, yeah. It’s such a nice, sunny morning, so I thought I would sit out here studying a bit, and I like to have the radio on…”
“You do know other people live here, don’t you, who might not share your love of the latest concoctions from the entertainment industry?”
“Uh, sorry. You know, this place is so quiet it seems almost abandoned, I just didn’t think there was anyone around who would mind…”
Listen, fucktard. You live in a large apartment building. There are dozens, probably hundreds of people living in the building with you. Now, miraculously, they all seem to be well-behaved and considerate towards their fellow residents. So yeah, the place is nice and quiet. That is, it was, until your stupid ass and your fucking radio showed up. You know, if you’d been playing Beethoven, and perhaps turned the volume down to a humanly tolerable level, I wouldn’t have said anything. Hey, I would have loved it. However, that moronic dreck you’re listening to is where I draw the line. So, congratulations, sir, you have managed what few people are able to do: you have pissed me off.
Idiot.
Anyway, he turned it off. I think I’ll go get some more sleep now. Yeah, I know, I’m probably turning into one of those old geezers, and next I’ll be telling kids to get off the lawn. But still… idiot.
Well, that is all. Carry on.
