I pit white trash girl...

The BBQ Pit
21

I just have to second everything CanvasShoes said. It’s a little alarming how easily some people will “diagnose” others with clinical depression, especially with as little information as what was provided to us via the OP.

WTG’s behavior is not “textbook clinical depressed” behavior it’s textbook stupid lost teenager behavior. Hell, most of my brother’s friends sound like WTG. Knocked up at 18 with no job and no idea how to support your rapidly approaching family? Hell that’s encouraged by these people. The fact that I’m an unmarried 27 year old female in law school is downright freakish to these folks.

You’d be suprised at what kind of behavior is considered acceptable and normal amongst certain groups of people. Just because a person acts differently than what is considered socially acceptable by the mainstream doesn’t automatically mean they’re depressed.

22

If that was sarcasm it wasn’t very effective.

Are we so far gone into Political Correctness Land that we can’t even pit someone dumb enough to smoke while pregnant?

23

Although I have no idea if the young woman in question has clinical depression, I do know that **CanvasShoes]/b] is making a mistake when she speaks of depression as if it is a matter of making the right choices. Clinical depression is not a case of the blues. It is not a matter of will power. It is not a character flaw or a weakness. It is an illness affecting the brain.

This is a recording. [/hijack]

24

The attitude exhibited by CanvasShoes and lezlers is very typical of those who haven’t walked in WTG’s shoes. And having to deal with people who have these kinds of attitudes only makes the struggle harder for those who have plenty to struggle with in the first place.

It’s easy to condemn and find simplistic answers when you aren’t the one with the problem.

25

Eighteen, pregnant, and in trouble with the court system…seems to me as if this child needs guidance and empathy, not ridicule and scorn.

26

Okay…

First off, I don’t know where you’re getting the “eugenic reference” from.

Now I don’t have anything against poor white people, it’s white trash who annoy me and there’s a difference. In my opinion, “white trash” is more a state of mind or an outlook on life than an indicator of poverty - there are decent and hard-working, but still poor, people out there. White trash are people who, as another poster recognized, are lazy and shiftless (the kind who go from job to job, never really getting anywhere), are satisfied with the lowest common denominator in all forms of entertainment, are constantly in trouble with the law, have multiple kids that they really can’t afford, are usually quick-tempered (taking offense at any perceived slight), and everything of course, is not their fault. To say that all these people - and there sure are enough of them out there - are clinically depressed or had bad childhoods is stretching it considerably.

Exactly.

You’re right - I don’t have much compassion for her. But then I AM a cynical bastard. :smiley: She complains that she doesn’t have rent money, but calls off all the time. Guess she can’t make the connection? OTOH, one of my best friends/co-workers married another co-worker who had two children from previous relationships. Together they had another child. They had some rough times, including bankruptcy and the tragic death of one child. But, through hard work they got out of it, bought a house, and are doing fine. These people I have compassion and respect for. But this girl, nope. Sorry. You want shit in life, you gotta work for it. I happen to have cystic fibrosis, but I rarely miss work because of it. I pride myself on that (and yes, I consider myself lucky to still be alive). You can imagine, then, how annoying it is when perfectly healthy people (and I’ve worked with many of them over the years) shirk their responsibilities for no good reason other than they want to go out and have a good time. Oh, but they sure can complain that THEY don’t get paid vacations, can’t afford a car, blah blah blah. Well, fuck 'em.

27

I don’t think the girl is being pitted for smoking while pregnant. She is being pitted for asking stegon66 for a cigarette, amongst other things.

is hardly a ringing request for the girl concerned to consider the wellbeing of the embryo implanted in her.

I’m more surprised the following has been uncommented on…

Those damn Chinese, pumping out kids left, right and center…

28

I guarantee that no matter how successful and worthwhile you consider yourself, there are people much more successful than yourself who look down contemptuously on your level of achievement. What do you suppose you would say to people like that?

29

Exactly. It’s all relative.

And I guess I’d say “I did the best I could with what I had and what I knew at the time I did whatever it was that I did.”

WTG probably looks down her nose at some people too.

30

He also wrote:

So yes I do think he’s pitting her for smoking while preggo. If that’s what she doing she darned well deserves to be pitted.

31

You have cystic fibrosis and you SMOKE?!?!?!.

Honestly, I’m not sure you should be criticizing this gal for poor choices…

I’m just sayin’.

32

Ya know, I’ve been hearing about these Cadillac-driving welfare folks for years. Then, last week, I learned about it, when I happened to be in the “welfare” office for another reason.

TANF benefits for a family of four = approx. $386 a month
Food stamps for the same = $300 a month (I think, couldn’t eavesdrop too clearly)

Now I dare you to pay for a Caddy with $386 a month. Unless you have a HUGE down payment…

Medicaid is a whole different story, and free healthcare for the masses is more of a GD issue, I believe.

I mentioned to my SO after that horrific visit to the “Social Services” office, that welfare folks driving Caddies just isn’t happening, on $300-some-odd bucks a month. Anybody who is doing that is pulling money under the table, which is simply fraud. Welfare has nothing to do with it. Those people would be defrauding the system (tax-wise) regardless. Grr.

My point was, however, that QtM nailed it.

33

You couldn’t be more wrong. I made plenty of mistakes in my youth. Including geting married too young, having a child too soon into the marriage and getting divorced and ending up a single parent.

And I worked my ASS off to make things work. I didn’t whine and call in sick all the time. If something didn’t work, I tried something else. And I made some truly STUPID mistakes. And then I cleaned up my OWN damned mess.

But I was DAMNED if I was gonna lay down and be a victim, even as an 18 year old. The fact that most people manage to get through their young adulthood, mistakes and all, without the “I’m a poor helpless victim, therefore I shouldn’t be expected to actually you know, like WORK or anything” is what makes people like this so aggravating.

I’m 45, and I’m still making mistakes, that’s what being human is all about. And several years ago, I did face actual diagnosed depression. So I’ve been there too, and know from whence I speak on that.

I’m sick of the era of excuses, that if a person starts behaving badly all of a sudden all of the bleeding hearts come out of the woodwork “oh, the poor thing, she’s just misunderstood, or depressed, or had a bad childhood”.

Open your eyes for crying out loud! There ARE people who truly ARE just plain old lazy ass whiny jerks who expect to have life handed to them on a silver platter. Behaving badly needs a kick in the ass, not excuses.

Lastly, changing and fixing things is FAR from a “simplistic solution” and that’s the whole point. It takes work, dedication and willingness to make it happen in order to change your life and your circumstances. Sitting around while everyone pets you and soothes “there, there poor dear” isn’t helping these people at all.

No one’s saying go up to them and rip them a new one, but babying them isn’t doing them any favors.

34

I mentioned in my post I was referring to people I actually know. I also know/have known many people who are on public assistance who worked hard and got off of it. I never indicated otherwise. I was posting in response to another poster claiming WTG’s behavior had to be attributed to clinical depression. I don’t believe we know nearly enough about WTG to start diagnosing any potential mental disorders. The fact that I regularly visit a community that consists predominantly of people that sound just like WTG and who not only choose but desire to live that way just strengthens my position. I didn’t use a broad brush in my example so kindly stop trying to place one in my hand.

35

I worked with a girl who did not pull her own weight. She acted as if the rest of us were there to cover for her–to do what she was too lazy to do. She also got pregnant (at age 19, I believe) and smoked while pregnant. The baby was not developing well (was too small) due to her smoking, so she had to take off several months from work to carry the child to term.

I was appalled. I was appalled and annoyed by her laziness (since I had to pick up her slack) and I was appalled that her stupidity led to health problems for her child. I guess she deserves some credit for modifying her lifestyle enough to carry the child to term. (But I believe with the employer’s benefits, the time she took off was paid–I could be wrong about that.) Of course, had she not smoked in the first place, the pregnancy probably would have not been so troublesome.

The young lady described in the OP sounds even worse and more foolhardly. Yes, I feel appalled by her behavior too.

36

That wasn’t really a slam on the Chinese, though I suppose it sounds like it. Forgive me. :smack:

Thank you.

Busted. :o

To clarify: I’m not a hardcore, full-time smoker (and just ultra lights at that, FWIW). I only do it at work and poker nights where I drink a lot of coffee - the two go so good together. With all the secondhand smoke I inhale, I figured I may as well just smoke 'em too. Stupid, yes, but I’ve made it this far and lived a rather straight and narrow life so I figure I’m entitled to some dubious behavior.

37

I smoked while I was pregnant. All my friends were smokers, and all of us smoked while we were pregnant. This was in the early 60’s, we knew smoking “wasn’t good” for you, but it was still an acceptable practice. The doctors we went to didn’t even suggest that we quit.

None of us had any problems with any pregnancy, and we all had healthy babies with normal or above-normal birth weights. Mine weighed 7-4, 7-11, 8-2, and 9-6.

Of the pregnant women I’ve known well in the past 40 years, only three have had pregnancy problems or babies with birth defects, and they were all non-smokers.

Now, when I think of the prevalence of smoking mothers in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s, I wonder that so many millions of smokers had uneventful pregnancies and healthy babies.

38

And so you should . After all, you are the result of a worthwhile bloodline aren’t you?

39

Hey,give the WTG in the OP some credit; at least she didn’t waylay some woman on a dog breeding message board in her home, cut out the woman’s baby, and try to pass it off as her own to her spectacularly dimwitted husband.

And Grienspace, there is such a thing as white trash; I have some in my family. And if you have any doubts, you can see prime examples of the genus on Jerry Springer* and Cops reruns.

40

And yet diagnosing everyone who makes a strange or perceivably wrong decision with ‘clinical depression’ so she can be let off the hook completely isn’t a simplistic answer? Come on.

And Rune, as a gal going through IVF, I have to say that while two teenagers popping out babies SHOULDN’T cause me tears, it does. It’s called humanity, jealousy, ‘unfairness’, bitterness and normal human emotion. When you go through four years of infertility and people telling you that you aren’t a ‘complete woman’ and you can’t achieve the one thing you’ve wanted since you’ve been oh, sixteen, you can’t be expected to react 100% rationally when you see women having babies for, essentially a paycheck. Is it a right reaction to be bitter? Of course not. Is it instinctual and understandable? I think yes.