There has been an interesting turn of events in my life.
I think that since I am posting in MPSIMS I am allowed to talk of the whole boring picture.
A little over seven years ago I quit all manner of illegal drugs and alcohol. This was very hard in many ways as some of you will know first hand. It was a major part in my life as I was a major addict for longer than I have been sober. I spent over three years in jails, prison, and various institutions like half-way houses and over 5 inpatient and outpatient treatment centers. I was addicted to many drugs over the course of my problematic youth. I had a bad meth addiction for several years, a terrible coke habit that progressed and at times overlapped with snorting, injecting, and smoking crack, whether or not considered an addiction I also abused regularly at one time or another, inhailents, extacy, acid and other like drugs, and occasionally pills and a small dabbling of heroine only developing a slight addiction. I also abused and drank alcohol heavily enough to consider myself a true alcoholic.
I also tended toward criminal behavior. Not necessarily to acquire drugs (I had some really nice connections, another story I wont tell) but because I liked the thrill and lost all manner of judgment I suppose.
I kinda got sober a little at a time. In fact the many times I got sober I just picked up a fewer and fewer drugs as I went back but replaced them with alcohol. The alcohol addiction grew worse. With out to many details I ended up a fugitive in Alaska.
Thanks for hanging with me you can leave if you want it just feels good to share.
Well I finally got totally sober. No drugs no alcohol. Just the normal post addition cigs and coffee. Here the point of the story kinda comes into view.
Almost to the day after i got sober. I found a wonderful woman and started a family about a year and a half later. My life got better every day since then. I am well though of by everyone I interact with and feel well respected, have many talents and many other good things as I have spent nearly every day of my life trying to catch up and make up for all the bad in my life. I at times now feel ahead of many of my current peers but what keeps me sober is seeing how far away I can get from my past life.
My life totally changed several times. Almost no one I associate with now has ever even seen me take a drink. I am not kidding my life really does get better every day.
Here it the kicker.
I quit smoking about 2 weeks ago. I know this is the time as I have quit other drugs for a long time and can tell.
The very next day after I quit my boss tells me that she has to lay me off because I cost to much or I have the option to buy the building. (she is asking a ghastly amount that no one would pay. She is hoping for one of those rich Californians that everyone hears about that comes into town to buy over priced real estate because it seems cheap to them.) I give her an acceptable offer and she refuses and I will be on my way in about two weeks. Jobless in a sense. I still have many project on back burners that I will have a chance to work on and see if they prove fruitful.
I have come to feel that quit smoking is for me is just as important as ditching the drugs and alcohol. That imeditaly after quitting them i HAD LIFE CHANGING MOMENTS AND THE SAME WITH THE CIGS.
I don’t know whats in store for me but I bet it is great. The other employees are telling me that I picked a strange time to quit smoking due to the high pressure scenarios we have had the last couple weeks none of which were cause by my withdrawals by the way I kinda think of it the other way around.
At the end of this month I will have no job and a little savings not much but a little. I will also have all the pride, confidence, determination, energy, passion and love a person could have. I also have a laundry list of skills ands support.
Quitting smoking finally set me free. It was more of an anchor than I ever thought.
I used it hard as a replacement. I still had a major crutch.
I am free-I AM FREE
What does the future hold for me and my family? We will find out. I still belive this will prove to be one of the most important life changing moments of my entine life. Thats why the long prestory. I feel this will be more important than quitting the other “more harmfull” drugs and alcohol.
If you read this thanks, if not thanks for the server space.
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