Some years ago I made my living as an entertainer. I was pretty good at it, but eventually gave it up for a more sedate and secure lifestyle.
I’ve kept my hand in the craft, teaching it, writing, and doing the occasional gig just to keep my chops up.
So today I get an email from a former partner. He was booked to open for a big music act, but something came up. He suggested me to the promoter, and they agreed. So do I want the job?
A few years ago, I would have jumped for this so fast I would have left my shoes behind. Exactly the kind of opportunity that could bring great things. But now…
This is not my field anymore, and I must face that. And though I’ve kept up my skills, I’m not as good as I once was. And there are people who make their living at this who should have the chance. I wouldn’t achieve much now if I accepted it. Someone else might.
This actually feels good. I left that life when I was still good at it. I’m happy with where I am now. And I’m truly flattered that some people still think I can work on that level. But I said no, and it’s OK with me.
You know, it’s kind of empowering, isn’t it, to be able to turn down something glamorous but know you’re doing it for the right reasons, reasons you might not have grasped at an earlier time.
“just to keep your chops up”, huh? I’m guessing some sort of brass instrument here, or possibly a saxophone. Jazz trumpet, maybe?
Gassendi, before I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to be a musician. I was majoring in composition at uni, and doing lots of singing on the side. These days I get so wistful when I hear a great performance and think “that could’ve been me”. But then I get home, and stick on my favourite Andreas Scholl CD at high volume, and it makes me feel better. I don’t regret my decision not to be a full-time career muso, and I can still enjoy it (I still do some singing when I have time). So I respect you for making the decision to walk away. But your thread still made me feel a little sad.
