My 12-year-old Standard Schnauzer broke off a toenail on her right back foot about a month ago. Despite two courses of antibiotics, the wound didn’t heal at all - she was still limping a month later. My mother took her back to the vet today after finding more blood on the floor, and long story short, Bea is going into surgery tomorrow to amputate two toes from her right back foot due to bone cancer (no wonder the broken nail wasn’t healing…there’s no bone left in the rightmost toe at all).
She’s in pretty good shape for her age and her heart and lungs are clear but I’m still pretty gutted right now. She’s still old, you know. And a little sick. And in pain. And I won’t be able to take her into surgery because I’m in an all-day training session for work tomorrow and she’ll be all alone (my dad, a.k.a. Bea’s Light Of My Life, Master Of My World, My Liege, is taking her to the same vet she’s been going to for the past 12 years and adores, but hey, no mixing facts in here…). I went to my parents’ house today and petted and scratched her behind the ears for a long time and then came home and cried a little.
I just really really hope my puppy will be ok because she’s such a good sweet gentle dog. And, somehow, at the same time I kind of almost maybe just a little bit hope that she doesn’t wake up from the anesthesia, because if this is the shape I’m in 18 hours before a surgery I’m going to be fucking destroyed when I have to take her to be put to sleep sometime in the future.
I swear to god, I am never ever going to own a pet again. Seriously.
Best wishes and sending good vibes for a successful surgery and recovery!
Always hope for the best - you will eventually be quite torn up when it comes time to either make the decision, or if you found that nature/fate has made the decision for you. That’s just how that works. The only people who feel a deep level of pain are the ones that felt a deep level of love. Enjoy the good years and keep hoping for successful recovery!
I have a tendency to grieve ahead of time just the way you seem to be doing. My very best hopes for you and Bea. That’s got to be really rough.
I hope your sweety girl pulls thru and you have more time together.
Just remember this-when you do lose her, you are doing no service to her memory if you don’t get another. Weigh the good times against the pain of loss. For me, the pleasure always comes out ahead. Give yourself time, and then get yourself another dog to love. A house isn’t a home without a dog.
PapSett said it perfectly.
I hope all goes well for you and your old girl. The best you could ever do for her is to just love her and give her the good home you have.
auRa, I wish you nothing but the best outcome for you and Bea.
I understand how you feel about a little bit of you not wanting her to wake up. Love is a hard, hard place to be sometimes.
May gentle Bea be treated gently.
You have given your pet a loving, happy home for years on end - there is no way her life could have been any better. You certainly have no obligation to replace Bea - you can’t ever truly replace a pet. But at some point, there will be a chance to offer another dog the gift of being part of your family.
I wish you peace - Bea has been a truly lucky dog.
All we can do is provide for them and love them. And as someone once said,
Hope everything goes well.
Thanks for your kind words. I’m actually quite surprised about how hard this hit me, considering that I’ve “known” for a while that’s she’s old and has Cushing’s disease - I guess I thought I’d come to terms with the fact that saying goodbye would be an issue in the not-unforseeable future.
That said, she’s fine. Or as fine as a recovering amputee can be, I guess. Less “fine”, more “incredibly stoned and also quite peeved about the fact that no-one fed her all day”. They only had to remove one toe after all, although that one had to go all the way from the wrist bones. She’s already walking around fairly well with a padded bootie that looks like a clown shoe, and resenting the fact that she has to be carried up and down stairs for a few days.
Glad to hear she’s doing well.
That made me bust up laughing! The poor critters, they’re so absurd when they’re coming out from under anesthesia. (Actually, my husband was pretty hilarious too when he had his wisdom teeth out… don’t tell him I said that.)
I’m so glad it’s a good outcome. Hopefully that’s the end of that and she goes on to be healthy and happy for a good while yet.
YAY!!! Good news! Hug Bea for me!
I’m so happy to hear of this great outcome! 12 isn’t all that old these days. Will she need any other treatment for her cancer?
Sending healing thoughts to Bea
Said the same thing after my dog and cat passed; Sam at almost 16 and Tailcat at like 17. Got them when I was in second and third grade so we all grew up together. And I stuck to it! In a real sense if not in reality. I never owned a pet again but other peoples pets kept adopting me and worming their way into my heart. When my friends Newfie, Mister King, died I cried like an idiot for an hour and hurt for weeks. When the neighborhood stray cat got hit by a car I was the one who had to go get it and see it buried properly. And my one cousin has this dog getting up there in years and I’m kicking in for some of the needed vet bills.
What can I say? You may never own another pet. But I got a feeling your a little like me and gonna end up owned by one or two in the course of your life. So don’t let it surprise you.
That’s great news about Bea! I’m very happy for both of you!
I’m sorry. That sucks. <3
Great news. I’m so glad for you auRa - what a load off your mind!
I bet Bea is in a fugue that has happy-to-be-home stuff floating around in it.
Good on you both. You, for keeping her healthy enough to come through it all; Bea for wanting to be back home with you.