I saw it coming, but I couldn't stop it.

A little background: I’ve been married nearly 14 years, and I’m highly educated and generally intelligent. I’m pretty good about learning from my mistakes.


Mrs. Stof got out of a long, hot shower yesterday morning, walked out of the bathroom, and sighed, “Aaaahhhhh. I feel like a new woman.”

I saw the words coming to my lips, but I couldn’t stop them, “Me too. Know where I can find one?”

Dope-slaps hurt.

Bahahahahaha! That’s…uhh…horrible!

Surely after 14 years of marriage to you Ms S has a keenly developed sense of humor, no?

Gee, if I said that to Mrs. Dave-Guy, she’d at least recognize it as a clever joke. Even as she was dope-slapping me.

Like the time she mentioned that she doesn’t shop at Petite Sophisticates anymore. I asked, “Why? Because you’re not either?”

To be fair, she can give it as well as take it, so we’re evenly matched.

She must have, to stay with stofsky


i believe in this situation there was no choice.

you had to say it… she had to cuff you…cause and effect

I think you’re all right. Doesn’t mean I don’t get popped now and then, though. But Dave, even I think you were treading the fine line on that one.

Does this dress make me look fat?

No, your big bum makes you look fat…


My favorite retort to that question (though I’ve never used it out loud):

No, light makes you look fat.

[sub]Fortunately, Mrs. Skeezix has never asked me that. Like stofsky I have trouble keeping my smart mouth shut, on occasion.[/sub]

I do the same thing. It’s a value I learned from my father: “Use the one-liner, no matter what”.

My girlfriend is called Kim. I also have another close female friend, also called Kim. There was a time before I met my Kim, that the other Kim and I were nearly an item, but it didn’t happen, and isn’t going to. My girlfriend knows this, but still understandably gets a little jealous of the other Kim (the two are friends, BTW). So, one day Doofus here is having a day off work, and lying in bed reading a book. The book just happens to be Kipling’s Kim (borrowed from a Doper, as it happens). My girlfriend telephones me in the evening, and asks me how I spent the day.

And what was my reply?

I had to say it…

I couldn’t stop myself…

“In bed with Kim”.

God, I’m a bastard.

TLD, all I have to say is OUCH! Hope your girlfriend didn’t rip into you for that one. Man alive…

Actually, that sounds like what my brother might say… he’s not had a girlfriend yet, but he’s always making fun of everyone, and burning them. (insulting them in fun is also fair game) So I guess his future SO had better watch out for his sometimes wicked sense of humor!


I find this thread amusing, and I subscribed to it, but every time the title shows up in my e-mail, I can’t help but think it’s spam for some sort of blowjob porn.

Just had to get that out of my brain. Sorry I had to put it into yours.

Not as a bump or anything no, really , I let Mrs. Stof read this thread. She laughed all the way through reading it out loud together, and then she dope-slapped me again.

I can’t win.

BWAHAHAHA ! TLD you have to bring Kim to the next Dopefest :smiley: She must be a gem to put up with you for this long !

When I was first married, my husband came in the bedroom and says: “Nothing up my sleeves!”
I say: “Nothing down your pants!”
It took LOTS of apologizing for that one.


Dear BGo,

that goes well beyond the acceptable bounds of humour. :smack:

Us chaps admit we are not as good at having babies, housekeeping, shopping, emotional conversations as you non-chaps.

We don’t appreciate a good pair of shoes, nor how long it takes to get ready, nor why the toilet seat should be kept down.

But, by golly, we do have something you don’t.
And we’re very proud of it.
And it frequently makes decisions for us.
So keep your hands off it. :eek: :confused: