Men may not notice that you changed your hair or your outfit, but* you* will. When I feel pretty or I’ve just gotten a great haircut, I walk differently and make more eye contact with people. If you do something to your external self, like a style change or a new haircut, men may not care but they will notice the confidence and happiness you’re putting out there.
Not that I’m pushing this, because I don’t think it’s that important, but many people have suggested a bit longer hair. I think your face shape looks great with the haircut you have, but if you’re looking to go longer, this style would look good on you. Don’t go too long, though. Your face is a nice heart shape that work better with short hair or a style that frames your chin. Also, you’ve gotten so many compliments on your eyes that you might want to emphasize them with slightly stronger eye makeup.
Those are just suggestions, but I really don’t think they’re that important. Just do something that makes you feel strong and confident, because that will project and attract people.
I also think the point about participating in guy-friendly activities is good. Join a hiking group or go rock climbing or join a writers’ group or something that works with your interests and would be a good mingling activity.
I popped back in to mention that. Personally I like it. It is risky however…a lot of women who prefer other women tend to have short, low maintainace hair. Not talking absolutes, but there is a coralation. Since guys are expected to do the asking, and getting shot down never feels good regardless the reason.
A flirty girl who obviously prefers men can get away with short hair easilly…in fact it can be an asset.
Re read what she said about her hair. She wants to grow it longer , but when she does so it tends to become a maitenance nightmare
Personally i do prefer women with minimum shoulder length hair and its just a personal preference, but her question was to get noticed by guys as you helpfully tried to remind me. If she cant go one way, she does have the option of going shorter and wearing wigs or extensions. With the right woman , that punky spikey look will stand out.
It may not be your cup of tea, but it is an option for her
At the risk of being completely and utterly shallow, I recommend occasionally wearing clothes that show off the cleavage.
I’m not only fat and invisible myself, I reveal boobcrack about once a blue moon. But my husband has, over a decade or so, finally made me realize that men (or some men) notice–and enjoy noticing–a nice rack that isn’t wholly hidden under clothes. He could tell me what I was wearing the night he fell for me (this is a man who notices nothing–I doubt he could accurately recall my wedding dress) because I was wearing a scoop-neck t-shirt and an apparently flattering bra (daring and unusual for schoolmarm me).
You don’t have to dress like a floozy, but being even a little more daring may have some payoffs in people noticing.
I feel sheepish now. especially after all this fine advice from other sensible dopers about hobbies and your approach to people. But sometimes, apparently, you need decolletage too. If you haven’t already, give it a try.
cranky, I asked my husband what would make me less invisible to men, and he said the same thing - cleavage. He said the same thing when I asked him if there was a way to get men to do stuff. I plan to use it on him to my advantage in the future.
Have your female friends poll the male friends that know you and report back what they say (no names). Emphasize that you want undiluted male opinion, not what the women think. See what happens…
I think you look gorgeous, lovely eyes and lips - a sensous face and blokes like big breasts too. Why are you invisible? Something in your personality must be pulling a curtain over your many attractive features. I don’t get the feeling that you’re shy either.
