I was attacked by a wild animal tonight. OK, it was just a chipmunk, but the damn thing BIT ME! As some of you know, I am a ranger at Wolf Trap, the national park for the performing arts. Earlier tonight, an usher came into the ranger station and said there was a chipmunk by the bathrooms that was acting strange, so another ranger and I went down to take a look at it. It was sitting there not moving, so I poked it to see if it was alive. It was, so I put on my rubber gloves to pick it up and relocate it to the woods to live out the rest of its likely short life. As soon as I tried to pick it up, it got plenty lively and scooted away from me. I tried again and as soon as I got a grip on it, it turned around and bit me on the finger. I threw it down on the ground in an attempt to reclaim my finger, and it just lay there. I went and washed my finger and scrubbed it with alcohol wipes while the others captured the beast.
Animal Control came and got it and looked at my finger and determined that it was indeed a bite and not a scratch. The officer said it’s almost 100% likely that the rabies test will come back negative, so that’s a relief, though I won’t know for sure until Monday, since the critter won’t get tested until tomorrow (and yes, sad to say, testing for rabies will require the expiration of the poor thing, but I don’t think it was feeling too well anyway). I’m gonna check my shot records to see if my tetanus vacination is current and if not, I’m going to get a booster, which hopefully, workmen’s comp will pay for.
I had always heard squirrels and other certain small furry things didn’t get rabies, but I’m not really sure where I heard that or whether it was true. Anyone know?
In the research I’ve done so far, I’ve only found reference to one documented case of a chipmunk carrying rabies, so small furry things can get it, but it’s extremely rare.
And we did have the Monkees here just a few weeks ago, and the Crickets last night, but no Chipmunks thus far. Except for my friend, of course. But he wasn’t singin’ nuthin’.
I am at war with two chipmunks in my back yard, they always tear up my garden and eat my tomatoes. I used to keep them at bay with my kitty but she died last year and now the little critters are running rampant. I don’t want to kill them since they’re so darn cute, but I do want to shoo them away. I noticed our neighbor’s cats have been running around my backyard, and since then, no signs of chipmunks. Better they get eaten, that’s the natural order of things. But they’re probably just in hiding until my tomatoes ripen, and then they’ll be back. Damn clever little beasts.
BTW, there is a national shortage of Tetanus vaccines, one of the two manufacturers stopped making it and supply is down 50%. I hear they’re rationing it at the moment, trying to keep it in stock for critical cases. I think you’d be eligible.
I got bitten twice by squirrels when I was a kid. Once while feeding them and once while killing them (now I have a rusted spot on my shotgun barrel from the iron in the blood oxidizing the bluing) I learned you need to poke them a bit before trying to pack them in your game vest. The really sad thing is I never went to the doctor. I turned out OK though.
[sub]now where did I bury those acorns?[/sub]
I think I’ve watched enough horror movies to know that over the next few weeks, Geobabe is going to start having nightmares and waking up nekkid in trees with no memory of how she got there. People all over the park are going to be terrorized by a gigantic chipmunk that nibbles through their tents and eats all their gorp. Inevitably the army will be called out. Scully and Mulder might even make an appearance.
Eventually, Warren Zevon will write a song, “Chipmunks of London”.
Finagle, you’ve inspired me. Many of these references will mean nothing to most of you, but the DC residents will probably enjoy this.
Chipmunks of Wolf Trap
(with apologies to Warren Zevon)
I saw a chipmunk with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Tyson’s Corner in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fork’s
For to get a big dish of beef chow mein
Refrain: Ah-wooo, Chipmunks of Wolf Trap Ah-wooo (x2)
You hear him howling around your ranger station
Better not let him in
Big donor got mutilated late last night
Chipmunks of Wolf Trap again
(Refrain)
Hunh! He’s the hairy-handed fella
Who ran amok in Vienna
Lately he’s been overheard in Reston
You better stay away from him
He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim
Hunh, I’d like to meet his tailor
(Refrain)
I saw Lon Chaney walking with the Secretary of the Interior
Doin’ the Chipmunks of Wolf Trap
I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walking with the Secretary of the Interior
Doin’ the Chipmunks of Wolf Trap
I saw a Chipmunk drinkin’ a pina colada at Mister Smith’s
His hair was perfect
Ah-wooo Chipmunks of Wolf Trap
Ah-wooo Chipmunks of Wolf Trap
I was bitten by a screech-owl, and one of my former co-workers was bitten by a cardinal (it was trapped in her son’s outdoor toybox and when she reached in to get it out, it bit her).
Does this mean she’ll have to change her user name to chipmunk?
Great song, Geo! I lived in Arlington for four years – I don’t remember Lee Ho Forks :), but have you been to Little Vietnamese Garden in Arlington? That was one of our favorite spots (and of course Whiteys for the chicken.)
I don’t know why but the imagery of that statement just makes me chuckle. What did he mean by strange? Was the chipmunk peeking at people under stall doors?
Perhaps it was just resting. “Beautiful plumage!”
…well of course not. Not after you…
You bully.
Oh, and just out of curiousity, how many park rangers does it take to apprehend a chipmunk?
Well, we thought two would be sufficient, but this one was particularly fierce.
The “strange behavior” was that it was sitting on the sidewalk and didn’t move even when the usher tried to shoo it away. I thought that since it was acting so docile, I’d be able to pick it up without too much trouble, but obviously I was wrong. And yes, I know throwing it on the ground wasn’t very nice, but the damn thing had latched onto my finger and I wanted it off tout de suite.
I laugh because I did the same thing when I was about 12. Cornered a chipmunk near our camp tent and scooped him up in my hands. The little bugger clamped down on the skin between my thumb and finger and I stood there for a few moments with the thing hanging off my hand by it’s teeth. I shook my hand and it fell into the grass and scurried off.
Innocent chipmunks my ass. Vicious damn critters is more like it.
