Having been electronically/telephonically stalked by an ex-girlfriend, I can tell you that you have only one option. Do not respond to any email, do not answer any phone call, ever. As dangermom has pointed out, this guy will probably start trying all sorts of emotional trickery to try and get you to respond, including baiting you with suggestions that the breakdown of the relationship/friendship is all your fault, taking severe swipes at your character for the way you are “treating” him, etc. Do not fall for it, just continue to ignore, ignore, ignore…
One more vote for cutting any contact with the guy. Make it automatic (blacklist his email address), do not respond to him in any way. He leaves you a message? Delete it. You get the picture. You’ve already told him to cut it out so don’t even tell him again (he will see that as ongoing communication).
billfish, I just checked my phone out of curiosity and he called 16 times in 5 days. I don’t think that’s reasonable by anyone’s standards.
Thankfully no further communication has been attempted, so unless the calls and messages start again I’m going to file him under “Desperate and lonely.” Also, thankfully he doesn’t live in my city but in a neighboring town, and he also doesn’t have a working vehicle. So there’s no possibility he could hunt me down in some way.
To be fair to that site though–that is a rare thing. Rarely do they have an NSFW image there, but if you read the first story, you can see why it is there. I love this site and its companion site that is linked there. I found the companion site via a posting a few months ago by Lynn Bodoni. As a man, I apologize for these ‘men’ 
I am so glad I am happily married!
oh–and dump this guy. Read that site and you will understand why you need to dump him.
Yeah, IMO thats a bit much barring something like a “you said we were going out this weekend, I made special plans, are you going?” scenario.
If I say this guy is a bit off, that tells you something. Thats like a Nazi saying “you know what, this may be going a bit too far”.
As for HOW to deal with a near stalker or extremely needy person, I can offer no real advice.
And stupid.
I do not necessarily think he’s dangerous, but I think taking up all your time with his emotional crap is its own form of abuse. Replying to his message would be like kicking a runny pile of pig shit - frankly, not worth it.
I used to work at a .com dating website (a big one - you’ve seen the commercials) and while I wasn’t involved in the details of anyone’s dating life thru that company’s site, I can say that I saw enough in aggregate form to more or less know what I’m talking about.
You have done everything “right.” You had a few phone conversations, a few emails, and -regardless of the details - the chemistry just wasn’t right for you and you **politely **disengaged. It was OK to do that by email since you haven’t even met in person yet. (It’s only once you’ve had a few face-to-face dates that the email-breakup becomes not cool.)
You are now free to go about your business, safe in the comforting folds of warm, fuzzy good karma, since you accrued no bad karma, since you did everything “right.”
Spend no more time or energy on him - he will not be part of your life, because you will have blocked his # and email address.
Also, hang on to all his emails, IMs, etc. in a separate folder. Note the 16-calls-in-5-days and whatever other phone notes you need. Then hope he really is out of your life, so you don’t need your evidence of his escalating behavior to show the cops.
You owe him nothing. It’s not your job to fix his lousy love life. It’s your job to find yourself a suitable mate. Now go! Find! And best of luck to you…
Welcome to the Dope, purplehorseshoe!
What would it take to get you to start an “Ask the person who used to work at a big dating website” thread?
No you are not. You are doing yourself a favor. That guy is clingy and does not even know you. Run to the nearest exit. That stuff only gets worse. Those are danger signs.