Kind of cool how it happened. You know how you see some crazy shit going on and you wonder to yourself, “Self, these guys are acting like total assgoblins, where’s a cop when you need one?”
Short story long.
I’m driving home yesterday, right through the heart of Milwaukee, at about 4pm.
I’m going south on one of the main thoroughfares, a three lane road in each direction if you include the parking lane. Sherman Blvd, if you know Milwaukee.
Anywho, as I’m heading south I see this car full of kids weaving across all three lanes of traffic. The front passenger is hanging completely out the window and waving his arms around and making (gang sign?) gestures to anyone who cares to notice. I cared to notice because they were driving VERY recklessly and weaving all over the place. Swerving from curb to curb, cutting people off, going through RED lights and basically driving like total fucking bozos.
I maneuver myself (safely) to get close enough to get the license plate and I’m about ready to call 911 and take video of these clowns. Then I see a big 'ol Lincoln Town Car go sailing past me and get right on their tail. They continued with the foolishness without regard to the car directly behind them.
They go through another red light and continue driving all crazy when the Town Car pulls up next to them and signals for them to pull over. They sort of pull over, because traffic was so thick here that they didn’t have much choice. They guy in the Town Car cuts them off and noses them over to the curb where they stopped. I pulled up directly behind them so they couldn’t back up.
Turns out the guy in the car was an off-duty Milwaukee Police Officer (Yes!). He flashes his badge and walks around to the passenger side of the vehicle and opens the door and yanks the passenger out. The officer signals to me to stay in the car. After another squad arrives I finally get out and the officer who made the stop asks me to move his car so it’s out of traffic, which I do. Then I watched these retards get booked. They had a case of Bud in the back seat and open and empty bottles in the truck. Go figure, alcohol was involved.
After all the commotion ended I chatted with the off-duty officer.
I noticed that he seemed a little nervous (I’m sure I was more nervous then him) so I asked him if he normally makes traffic stops. He said, “Not without my gun!” He wasn’t packing. Pretty ballsy move to make not knowing if the asscracks in the truck had weapons or not. Plus, the way they were driving I wouldn’t doubt they were on crack or meth.
The only thing that would make this cooler is if the Officer was our very own pkbites.
Not like that, but I once assisted assorted hospital staff and fire/rescue personnel in restraining a violent woman with a chemically altered state of consciousness. I grabbed her left ankle when she was taken down, and hung on for dear life.
I answered the door to a couple of shifty-looking blokes who asked to come in so they could quote for ‘lagging my roof’.
I assumed that one was going to distract me, while the other one looted the premises, so told them no thanks and shut the door.
I phoned the local police, gave a description and they were arrested 20 minutes later trying to get into a pensioner’s house.
It’s awesome when, finally, some asshole gets busted.
There was this kid I always encountered in his red camero either on my way to work/school or on the way back home. And it never failed. EVERY time I ran into him he would be cutting people/me off, going through red lights (he would actually be the third or fourth car from the light, so he would go on the shoulder, pass them up, then cross the light!), cursing at other drivers for deigning to drive only 5 mph over the speed limit, etc.
Finally, one day I saw him get his ass pulled over. He was with a group of friends and it looked like they were drinking. Saw the cops slap on the cuffs and man was I happy camper.
Back in my bouncer and bodyguard days I assisted in a few arrests/detainments, but that sort of went along with the job.
My one recent contribution to justice was about a year and a half ago. I was driving home on the freeway and had this doucebag in a pickup truck right on my ass for a few miles. Traffic was stop and go in all three lanes, and every time I’d have to stop for a bit, this idiot would slam on his brakes so hard the nose of his truck would dip. I was looking in the rearview every time, certain this asshat was going to biff my rear end.
At one point there was a bit of a break in the lane to my right, he stood on the gas, worked around me, worked around a few other cars (missing us all by inches each time) and did this same number until I lost sight of him.
About 10 minutes later I’d covered something like 4 miles and I see him on the side of the road, with a cop and another car. His front end and the other car’s rear end were busted up.
I pulled over. The cop asked me if I’d seen the crash, what I was doing, etc. I told him, “I didn’t see the crash, but the truck spent several miles on my bumper, narrowly missing hitting me each time I had to brake, then aggressively changed lanes multiple timesand caused several near misses.”
Arizona has a felony aggressive driving law. Because of my statement this idiot got his charge upgraded from failure to maintain assured clear distance to aggressive driving and got a permanent license revokation.
Nothing dramatic, but I witnessed a minor hit-and-run and got the license plate of the offending car as it took off. I gave it to the woman whose car he’d hit, and later spoke to someone from her insurance company.
