Thank you, Mighty_Girl. You have singlehandedly brought me to my knees with horrid flashbacks of ninth-grade gym class. If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled in a fetal position over here in the corner, whimpering. Cupping my extremely large and manly testicles. Which, by the way, are just jam-packed with loads of testosterone. Loads, I tell you!
Wonderful story! At the very least consider it a threadspotting nomination. Well done!
Sauron. Thank you.
I love the emperor’s peaceful repetitions of various versions of his mantra: “We have been waiting in line. No one has taken our order.”
Beautiful!
Emperors must be calm and serene given their power and authority.
In other words, “Society and the universe persist in refusing to restructure themselves in a manner to accomodate my ignorance. But if I simply wait and persist in pointing it out, something will be done.”
I finally read this, and I liked it. Well done!
“And to think I wasted all this time over that damn Ring,” Sauron muttered to himself…
:eek: What have I done? I’ve offended the next Emperor of the World! :smack: I beg Your Royal Bovine Highness for forgiveness. I hadn’t known thee before and therefore didn’t know that Thy Merciful Majesty is a man… er, I mean a bull. I humbly beg thee to spare my worthless bovine self. I am not worthy of thy pardon, but if you do spare my life I will dedicate my life to swatting your flies with MY tail.
Okay, quick, somebody hide this thread from my wife.
Sauron, that was a great OP! Congratulations! I second the threadspotting nomination!
BRAVO.
That was an outstanding piece or writing!! Wear the gold lame and bejeweled muu-muu in all it’s glory.
The story reminded me of when I worked in an electronics store and a lazy oaf insisted on parking in the fire lane when half the lot was open. I refused to serve him until he parked properly. When he complained to my boss, the boss called the police.
I must say that even your posts after your OP are exquisitely written, Sauron. You can learn so much from just hanging in the 'Pit, for crying out loud.
**sauron, ** that was amazing.
But yeah, you should have gored him.
I think he works out at my gym too! He’s GOT to be the guy who leaves weights on the machines.
DESPITE all the fluorescent pink signs saying “REPLACE YOUR WEIGHTS, WHEN FINISHED WITH MACHINE”!!!
Sauron…
Yeay, tho thou stoodest in the presence of the Emperor of the World (EotW), thou havest a superior position before The One Who Made All (TOWMA). Thou art mighty and fell, beautiful in your power over the minds of men. Henceforth, shall ye be knowneth as:
God of the Pit (Gotp) …tho not Satan, because that user name is already taken.
What’s a karass?
I have always hated the way MC D’s WILL NOT make one line like every other fast food place and every bank does.
Now, after reading that MASTERPIECE, I will never bitch about it again.
Pure genius.
May I touch you?
This is a sig line if ever I saw one.
Awesome rant Sauron. Simply awesome.
Now I’ve got this picture stuck in my head of the Secret Cow Level from Diablo II. I see about 100 cows standing on hind legs, weapons in hand, at McDonald’s.
moo… moo… moo…