karass is from Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle, wherein he defines a new religion, Bokonism.
And, I’d have gored him, too. 
I’m not worthy.
Shirley may I touch you if Sauron allows you to touch him?
As another former McD’er, I say bravo.
That was a great story even if it did bring out all of those suppressed memories I had from working at McD’s.
Just remember the most important herd rule:
“Always drink upstream from the herd.”
-Will Rogers
A well deserved threadspotting honour.
As others have stated, Sauron demonstrates that swearing, cussing, yelling, screaming and foot stomping may be a good time at a barn dance but it’s definately not that best way to get one’s point across.
Brilliant.
Also, can use that post Sauron? I know you’ve given permission to others, just don’t want to be presumptuous and interpret your permission as a blanket statement.
I can’t help but hear this in Milton Waddams’ voice.
Exquisite tale - another vote for goring the Emporer.
Two things:
First off, I’m hungry now.
Second off, you’d actually let a guy named Sauron be emporer of the world? Didn’t you guys ever read the Lord of the Rings? Or at least see one of the movies??
Be my guest, Greenback. I’d be honored.
xgxlx: I’m keeping my eye on you.
LOL!!
I’m so glad that someone resurrected this thread! I just got back from visiting my mom in San Francisco. And, after standing in the aisles of airplanes (either waiting to get on, or waiting to get off) 8 different times all I could think was “moooOOOOO, MooooOOOOO”.
This is a jewel!
Thank you~!
OG MOO!
Great thread. Great.
Cows must also have an impeccable capability for light intake, thus diminishing their capacity to distinguish light from dark. My reasoning for this is the biligerent bovine which stand at the front stand of the movie theatre where I work even though the lights are off there, and on in the back stand. But, then again, if their sight was that good they could see the register covers that have been put on, the employees who are cleaning up, and the general sense of the place being closed. Oh well, I’m not going to bitch about, my attempt to would cower like a opossum in the face of the incredible work of prose that is the OP.
Possums is good eatin’.
I am the assistant manager at a liquor store
and I had a “rush” at five o’clock. One of these
fine people, a mature, well dressed lady, cut
to the counter and said: “I just have this one item
and I have some place to go…please check me out.”
I said, “I am waiting on this gentleman. He deserves
my complete attention. I will be with you as soon as
possible.”
Its something in the delivery. When she got to the
register, she apologized for her impatience.
Just to play Devils advocate- it is possible that the other poor bovines in line after the EotW couldn’t see the sign as the fatass of the EotW was blocking it. Thus, the manager (and the EotW) did effect a reasonable compromise. Of course, one can argue that the EotW shoudl not have benefited from the compromise, but since it appears he didn’t skip ahead in line, no harm was done to the dudes in the other lines.
DrDeth, as fun as it is to have conversations on a geologic time scale, I’m thinking that waiting almost three years to reply to this one might be pushing it.