I suck and I blow; also, Communist Little Girls and Their Communisty Lemonade Stand! [Fixed title]

[Colibri]

@Gangster_Octopus

Geez I cannot even spell my replacement title right in my request to the Admin.

It’s official… I suck and I blow.

Do you want me to change your title to that?

[Der_Trihs]

I’m reminded of some of the “radio commercials” in Grand Theft Auto that talk about the evils of communism.

If you think your child might be a Red, here are some warning signs. They read complicated literature, and have concern for their fellow man. They may even like to share.

Tell your kids, if someone approaches them with pamphlets about recycling, an invitation to a Labor rally, or showing any doubts about the fairness of our system they should find a teacher or a policeman immediately.

[Gangster_Octopus]

@Colibri

Do you want me to change your title to that?

Yes I do.

[Malthus]

@NDP

Also, maybe Ms. Savage didn’t fully consider what the kids’ whole business strategy was.

Perhaps their lemonade wasn’t just ordinary lemonade but really good lemonade. So good that you could say it was addictive. However, the average consumer has no way of knowing this beforehand so, in order to distinguish the lemonade from the lemonade sold at the half-dozen or so stands in the neighborhood, they gave it away for free. Sure enough, the stand is besieged with thirsty customers who quickly consume the delicious sunshine-yellow concoction and (with the exception of one cranky old lady in a limousine) are all grateful for the generosity displayed by the big-hearted kids.

The next day, the kids make their lemonade and open their stand again. But this time the lemonade is no longer free but instead goes for the price of 25 cents a cup. Most of the people who drank the lemonade for free the day before return and, despite taking brief pause at the new price, buy the beverage because it’s soooo good and still a bargain at a quarter. At the same time, the stand attracts new customers because the price is still far less than other neighborhood stands.

The day after that, the kids sell their lemonade at an increased price of 50 cents a cup. However, all the previous customers from the previous two days return along with others who have heard via word-of-mouth about the great lemonade they sell at the stand. Sure, the price increase may be a little irritating but it’s more than worth it considering the must-have quality of the lemonade.

Anyway, each day this pattern of behavior continues: the kids make the lemonade and slightly increase the price and the customers all return to buy it at the new higher price. Soon, the lemonade is going for $10 a cup but is still selling out because, for some reason, customers can’t resist going back for their daily fix of the beverage.

Yeah, but if Ms. Savage was angry about the girls “stealing” their parent’s lemonade, cups and chocolates, just imagine how pissed she would be if the girls were also stealing their parent’s cocaine.

[sqweels]

Are we sure it wasn’t Kool Aid? You know…KOOL AID?

@Cort

What the fuck?! They don’t teach Ayn Rand in the elementary schools anymore?

That remids me of a bit on The Simpsons where Maggie was at the Ayn Rand Preschool. There was a placard on the wall–the kind that would typically say “A is for Apple”–that said “A is A”.

[tdn]

@NDP

Soon, the lemonade is going for $10 a cup but is still selling out because, for some reason, customers can’t resist going back for their daily fix of the beverage.

Some people can’t live without Coumadin.

[Colibri]

@Gangster_Octopus

Yes I do.

You got it dude.

(Though I also left enough to let people know what the thread is about; I mean, besides your suckiness.)

[Shot_From_Guns]

@woodstockbirdybird

“Must of” literally makes no sense.

Maybe they smelled something funny…

@Euphonious_Polemic

Not just “rolled down the window”

She had to make the point that she has them real fancy push button windows.

I think she’s hypercorrecting. Like someone saying they were going to “flip a switch to turn off a light” because the light doesn’t have a knob that you turn… completely neglecting the fact that they’re still incorporating the old verb (“roll down” or “turn”).

ETA:

FWIW, the length of the title of this page means the end of it is cropped to “Fixed tit” in this browser window.

[NDP]

@Malthus

Yeah, but if Ms. Savage was angry about the girls “stealing” their parent’s lemonade, cups and chocolates, just imagine how pissed she would be if the girls were also stealing their parent’s cocaine.

Who’s to say the parents weren’t in on it?

[Acsenray]

@vd

I’d like to see a talk show where Dan, Terry, Michael, Adam, Fred (or Ben, but not both), Randy, and Doc Savage all get together to discuss current events.

Don’t forget Tracie.

[Bosstone]

@vd

I’d like to see a talk show where Dan, Terry, Michael, Adam, Fred (or Ben, but not both), Randy, and Doc Savage all get together to discuss current events.

Or to attack each other viciously in a no-holds-barred Battle Royale. I’d watch that.

[Oakminster]

@Bosstone

Or to attack each other viciously in a no-holds-barred Battle Royale. I’d watch that.

Doc wins in about 30 seconds. Randy Savage is no shooter, and he knows it, so he’s gonna bail. The rest aren’t enough to make Doc break a sweat.

[Rigamarole]

Anecdote related to the OP:

My grandfather once became infamous in his town as the man who smashed the dreams of children by shutting down their lemonade stands. His job was enforcement of local ordinances, and it was against ordinance to run a business without the proper permit, which the children running the stands didn’t have. So he had to be the one to bring down the hammer - the local newspaper ran an article about him and everything.

[Freudian_Slit]

Does Ed Wuncler write a column under a pen name now or something?

[Gangster_Octopus]

@Rigamarole

Anecdote related to the OP:

My grandfather once became infamous in his town as the man who smashed the dreams of children by shutting down their lemonade stands. His job was enforcement of local ordinances, and it was against ordinance to run a business without the proper permit, which the children running the stands didn’t have. So he had to be the one to bring down the hammer - the local newspaper ran an article about him and everything.

Did he do it Untouchables style, coming in with tommy guns and destroying the booth with an axe, dumping the illicit lemonade in the sewer and posing for the flashbulby cameras.

[heatmiserfl]

@tdn

Some people can’t live without Coumadin.

Well, what about people taking heparin? Coumadinisty lemonade could kill ya. :eek:

[Rigamarole]

@Gangster_Octopus

Did he do it Untouchables style, coming in with tommy guns and destroying the booth with an axe, dumping the illicit lemonade in the sewer and posing for the flashbulby cameras.

Why yes, that’s exactly how he did it. My family is Italian, after all…

[Enginerd]

You have to, otherwise they just set up a block over the next week.

[Little_Nemo]

Terry Savage is right! People giving things away like this just creates a false mindset of entitlement that causes people to elect governments that just hand out welfare. We’d be better off by abolishing all government entitlements. People who are truly in need could just depend on the good will of their neighbours. Because people are fundamentaly good. Why I even heard about some little girls who were giving away free lemonade to anyone who was thirsty. That’s the kind of thing we need to see more of.

[Mighty_Girl]

Little Nemo, that was beautiful!