Arrrrgh! Beat me to it.
I love that joke.
Last I checked, I never wanted to put my penis in a pickle slicer, and am unfamiliar with said joke.
Oh, and I didn’t go to store during lunch yet. Problem is, even i she isn’t there, that proves nothing. She cold easily arrive after 12:30-ish.
I have to ask, as there’s a “hot deli girl” where I shop as well that is gorgeous and fits your description: you wouldn’t be referring to the Stater Bros. in Poway (CA.), would you ?
Pickle slicer=girl who slices the pickles, therefore
pickle slicer=hot deli girl
There should be a way of finding out her age in a joking manner. I can’t come up with one myself, but since my MO around attractive people I encounter IRL is permanently stuck on “admire from afar,” that’s not surprising.
One day, Bill comes home from the pickle factory where he works and confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill says he’d be too embarrassed, and he vows to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill comes home absolutely ashen.
“What’s wrong, Bill?” his wife asks.
“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”
“Oh, Bill, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
“My God, Bill, what happened?”
“She and I both got fired.”
[If the joke isn’t pre-spoiled by your knowledge that the pickle slicer isn’t a machine, it’s a great joke IMHO]
I concur… but take it a step farther. When ordering deli products, make sure you refer to it as “MY meat”.
You do know that it is widely believed that Velma is “supposed” to be gay don’t you? She probably assumed you were calling her a mannish lesbian in a cute (i.e. jerky) way.
Like, “Hey baby, you really roast my beef.”
Or, “Ooh girl, I like the way you honey-glaze my ham.”
You doper guys and your meat jokes.
Just to show you I can run with the little dogs:
I had a German lover once …
He was the wurst.
Huh, I didn’t know Velma was a lesbian? She (the girl) was very feminine and I was just making a comment on her style. Velma has that same kind of “Retro-Mod” look, that’s all. Should have thought that one out better.
Odds are she’s of Jewish origin.
NEVER compare a girl, any girl with Velma. (or Daphne, but for different reasons–at least Velma had a brain). Lesson learned.
mr bus guy --that is such a great story. It’s nice when life is good to you(for a change, heh), no?
So it is safe to say that bouv is getting more sausage than usual lately? :dubious:
I like that story MBG. 
bouv honey, I know you’re that shy, but do you ever make idle chit-chat? You could ask if she goes to school in the area.
I don’t get it… just ask her how old she is.
Better yet. Just ask her if she’d like to go have coffee with you on her lunch break.
If she says YES, then the question can very easily and unakwardly be brought up during your conversation while sharing a drink and a bite to eat. That’s a pretty standard question I think. If she turns out to be 15, big freaking deal. So you shared coffee with a 15 year old… so what? Move on.
If she says NO to your invitation, then who cares how old she is - she’s not interested anyway. And quite possibly her rejection would be along the lines of “:giggle giggle: I’m only 14, and you’re like way to old for me or something”… then you question is answered.
Just ask the girl out. Who cares about her age. Sharing a cup of coffee with someone who you find extemely attractive is not a crime. You’re concerned about her age because you think having sex with her is illegal or something. Well don’t be so presumptuous. Maybe you’ll only get as far as a few dates and share a few meals and have some good conversation. I’m positive you’ll find out her age well before it comes time to have sex with her. Just ask her out.
BTW, how old are you?
Hey, sorry if that came off a little rude.
My point is that if you feel odd just asking her age out of the blue, then ask her to lunch or something simple. Then you can find out her age later. I think she is most likely NOT 15. You’re just using that as a reason to keep your distance from her. But the reality is you’re just too nervous or frightened to actually ask her out. Don’t be. Just ask the girl to go do something with you. Ya know, the more girls you ask, the higher your chances are of getting one who says yes and finding one you actually enjoy being with…
Personally, I would just say “You have a very young face. How old are you?” “21? Really? I never would have guessed that. I bet you get harrassed all the time at the clubs, don’t you?” “No? Oh well that’s good, I guess. So which clubs do you like going to?” “Yeah?! I’ve been there, I like that one” “Hey, Amp is always good on Saturday. Me and some friends are going to Acropolis for a little food and then going to Amp tonight! Would you like to come along?”
You can sub in coffee shop, renfest, library or comic convention or whatever… it doesn’t matter. Just get a conversation going and ask the girl out!!
Words to live by, people.