I suggest closing this message board for a few weeks.

About This Message Board
1

I’ve grown concerned over the time some of my fellow dopers spend reading (or posting) on this board. According to my math, some do little else in their lives (and that’s including biological needs!) which implies they have an unhealthy addiction to the the SDMB.

Knowing that You, the dedicated staff members, are generally immune to that obsession and that you strongly support healthy living, I modestly suggest shutting down the board for a few weeks (4-6?) to force the addicts to face their condition and help them by removing access to the drug.

We can’t blame this on society any longer, we must take responsibility and do something drastic and possibly unpopular.

All in favor?

2

If you were so worried you could have just emailed me.

3

I have a better idea. Why don’t we give people the first few weeks for free. We can make them pay for it once they’re hooked.

As for me, I don’t have a problem. I can log off any time. Really.

4

This is my 12-step program for sanity

  1. Read the SDMB
  2. Read the SDMB
  3. Read the SDMB
  4. Read the SDMB
  5. Read the SDMB
  6. Read the SDMB
  7. Read the SDMB
  8. Read the SDMB
  9. Read the SDMB
  10. a. Pee
  11. Read the SDMB
  12. Read the SDMB
  13. Read the SDMB
5

You just hush your mouth! Crazy talk like that, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Hmmph.

6

Project much?
:smiley:

7

I do not have a problem with the SDMB. I can quit any time I want. I can do other things, like empty the dishwasher, walk the dog, pay the bills, fold the laundry…

Just as soon as I cruise through all 13 pages of “New Posts”.

… and whoops! It’s bedtime.

8

You could pay us all $500 to stop posting for two years.

9

Let’s see, at 50,000+ members, each of us would get slightly less than a penny.

Naaa, not worth it.

10

I predict that you will run for political office eventually.

11

Based upon my interpretation of French Connection II it’s not a good idea to impose cold turkey on these poor suckers.

During the 4-6 weeks this board is withdrawn from circulation you will need to provide an SDMB substitute to ease their passage from a glorious oblivion. May I suggest a Synthetic Dope Message Board (Synthetic DMB) is set up for this purpose. It must demonstrate a degree of cross-tolerance with the Straight DMB so that addicts are kept mentally stable for a few weeks whilst being denied the ‘rush’ supplied by the original product.

12

I think you’ve jumped to the “unhealthy” conclusion much too quickly.
I’m addicted to me Wife & me oxygen but I wouldn’t call it unhealthy.

13

How do you determine how much time we spend here? If I post at 8:30, 10:45, 2:15 & 4:30, that hardley means I’ve spent all eight hours here.

I love how I can spend 15-20 minutes here for a “work break.”

14

or start a new board where the M in SDMB stands for " methadone"

15

It’s not bedtime until the board crashes. That’s my motto.

16

Do the very short days not cause you problems then?

17

You can have my SDMB when you pry it from my cold dead browser.

18

<SLAPS! Gozu With A Wet Trout>

19

A sign seen two days after the SDMB closes down: “Will suck dick for intelligent conversation.”