Early Saturday morning my husband was watching TV in the bedroom. It woke me up. This is what I saw:
Rutger Hauer is putting his wife with scary eyes and kid in a car. William Hurt is sitting in the driveway. Rutger drives off to a parking lot and starts talking to an old couple in a pick up truck while men in gas masks gas his wife and kid and drive off. Rutger commandeers the old people’s pick up and chases them through mostly deserted places until William Hurt shoots the kidnappers from a helicopter.
This brings Rutger, Scary-Eyes, William and the kid back home for a dinner party where Rutger’s guests watch an orgy in a pool. This pisses off the dinner guests. Rutger goes in the kitchen to talk to William Hurt through the TV and then watches his house guests have sex on the TV along with William Hurt (who is still on the TV). Rutger accuses William of enjoying this.
“Oh yeah!” says William, “Watch this!”
He shows Rutger a film of a woman masturbating. Two guys interrupt her, shove a syringe up her nose and kill her. “That was my wife.” says William. This causes Rutger Hauer to go screw his scary-eyed wife while William Hurt watches.
The next day all the house guests watch a public service movie about Swiss bank accounts. This also pisses everybody off. It pisses them off so much that someone leaves a dog’s head in the refrigerator for the kid to find. Which, in turn, makes Rutger try to beat up Chris Sarandon-- only Craig T. Nelson stops him.
Of course, all the wives go into an RV to snort coke (Of course!). The RV blows up, pleasing William Hurt. Soon, unseen people are trying to shoot Craig T. Nelson in a pool and Rutger Hauer’s wife and kid are kidnapped once again.
This naturally leads to Craig T. Nelson directing Rutger on a live TV show. William Hurt is on the TV show along with Burt Lancaster. Rutger shoots William dead, gets his wife and kid out of a closet and finds his dog with his head most definitely still attached.
This all ends with Rutgar Hauer telling his TV audience to stop watching so much TV. I tell you, he convinced me.
My questions: What the hell was that and what the hell was actually going on?