I do agree that you should break up with him now, but I also think you’d better have an idea of what you are going do for the next 2 months. Specifically, I’d go the “completely avoid him” route. You say most of your friends are around the world, so you still have some nearby, right? Spend as much time with them as you can. Take up a new hobby if necessary. Just don’t be anywhere near the guy while you are grieving.
Oh, and treat yourself. Do things that only single women can do. I’m sure you can think of some. Do something extra special for yourself as a reward.
OMG, I sooooo know how you feel! Just keep one thing in mind - they can, in therapy, learn to act better and treat people better, and a narcissist can truly want to be a good person. But in the end, actual empathy either forms at a certain developmental stage or it doesn’t. So if you are staying in it waiting for a therapy outcome to make life livable, keep in mind that true empathy is not forthcoming.
He sounds a lot like my ex. Only I didn’t give him permission to sleep around. Yeah he’s using you, you know that, he knows that, we all know it. Unfortunately, you have to show him your serious. Tell him your done, then stop doing everything that he expects from you (short of hygiene), and see how he handles that. You have to not just say the words but mean them, and to mean them you have to show it with actions. Stop cooking for him, stop cleaning for him, he’s a big boy he can do it himself, your not his mommy. And if you feel guilty for not doing the things he expects, hold on to that anger. Anger can be a really good motivator, it will out weigh all the other emotions. Good Luck!
I was with you until “and see how he handles that”. The last thing phoenixundone should be concerned with is how her ex (and I fervently hope he’s her ex by now) handles anything. Like you said, she’s not his mommy so she should cut him out of her life like the cancer he is instead of hanging around trying to motivate him with anger.
Let me add, that this is the way to dump him without fucking him over.
If you want to destroy him, his life, and his future, you can try putting a lot more effort into leaving him, and being a “friend”, but if you don’t want to try that, (and it might not succeed anyway) then just
1.2.3.4.5.6.
If you explain that you really like him, and want to be his friend, and are dumping him anyway, then either (A) he doesn’t believe you, and it’s a waste of effort, or (B) he does believe you, and thinks that hurting people is what friends do.
I’m not talking about being cruel to be kind: I’m telling you how to be kind to be kind, because if you think you hate your boyfriend, you are in no position to make any kind of sensible judgement about how to be kind to him.
If he asks Why? You can tell him you aren’t his friend anymore, and you don’t have to answer.