Not sure if this should be posted in IMHO or maybe it’s a Mundane topic.
Last Saturday morning as I was leaving Walmart, I saw a young girl (20s) standing on a median at the intersection of the street that feeds into Walmart and a busy highway. She was holding a sign that I have no idea what it said because I was focused on the dog she had with her. It was a big yellow dog - maybe a Lab/husky mix. I had just bought my dogs some treats and thought I would give her some, but the way the traffic was flowing by the time I reached her, it was impossible to stop.
As I headed home, I became very emotional about that dog. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was only 10am and it was already 75 degrees. I kept thinking how long could the dog handle standing out on the concrete. I went home, filled a Ziploc bag with dog food, and put it in a plastic grocery bag along with some treats, a rawhide chew bone, a bottle of water, a bottle of lemonade (for the girl), and $10. I have only given to the sign-holding people one other time and that person also had a dog. I gave him $5 and told him to buy something for the dog. I’m guessing having a dog with you helps bring in much more money.
I headed back to Walmart, I noticed two police cars at the intersection. An officer was speaking to the girl and she was packing up to move on. I parked and caught up with her. I handed her the bag and told her what was in it. She thanked me, said the dog will be excited, and told me to have a nice day. I got back into my car, and as I was heading out to the highway, I spotted her and the dog getting into a car (someone else was at the wheel) that had been parked in the furthest corner of Walmart’s lot. It wasn’t a random person picking her up. The car had been waiting for her. The car looked fairly new and in good condition. So was she out there scamming people? Was the person in the car forcing her to beg? Or maybe the car was all they had and they truly needed money. It really irritated me at first, but I figured oh well, at least the dog was fed and enjoyed some good treats. I have to stay focused on the dog.
You have no way of knowing. She could have (for example), been someone trying to run away from home. Anything. At any rate, you weren’t had because you lost virtually nothing. In my own experience of random acts of charity, almost all of them have had some shadow of ambiguity. Comes with the territory. It is better to be a chump occasionally than a selfish asshole.
Maimonides said, “If you give money to ten beggars, and nine of them were lying to you, you have still done a good thing.”
It doesn’t matter. You did a good thing.
You tried to do a good thing for the right reasons, and that is certainly good enough for me.
I once listened to a guy in a wheelchair playing a keyboard on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. I put a couple dollars in his can. He then shut down for the day, unplugging his keyboard, emptying his can, etc. Then he loaded all his stuff onto the wheelchair and walked away, pushing it.
Did you give him money for his music, or for his handicap?
Yeah, I’d have given money regardless of the chair, I just found it funny.
I guess I just dislike scammers more than I like beggars. It’s close, but disliking scammers wins.
I’m not as kindhearted as most, but I’ve given money sometimes to people who appeared to be in urgent need and EVERY TIME I’ve discovered that person was actually running a scam. Cost me 10 and 20 bucks, I think, before I stopped giving money to people I don’t know.
Every time?? What do you do, follow people around all day after dropping a buck in the hat?
I drove a vanpool back in the mid 90’s. At the freeway off ramp on the way home, there would be a guy holding a sign asking for help. He would be there 3 or 4 times a week. A rider in the van noted that every time the guy was begging, there was a really nice looking El Camino parked behind a gas station next to the off ramp. One day while stopped on the off ramp, the guy was standing near the van. As a test, I commented loud enough for him to hear "Too bad they are towing away the red El Camino. The guy dropped his sign and took off running. The next day we noticed the El Camino was parked at a different location where the guy could see it while begging. He walked out into traffic to give me the finger and tell me to get screwed. A few weeks later he disappeared, we never saw him or his El Camino again.
Just good luck. One time, a cop on the beat told me I got gotten, another time a neighbor confirmed for me that the same scammer hit him up a few months earlier, like that. After a few times, I started ripping up my money and flushing it down the toilet for laughs. It’s cheaper and quicker.
The homeless people I assist at the food pantry thank you for your concern.
If that is the excuse you need to not give to those in need, more power to you.
I think there’s a difference between giving money to a food pantry and giving money to a stranger with a sad story on the street (or knocking on my Greenwich Village apartment door with an emergency about a pregnant wife and needing cab money RIGHT NOW!! That one was pretty skillful, come to think of it, good acting, good timing. Maybe he earned his 10 bucks.)
Perhaps there is a difference between giving money to a food pantry or a food bank and giving money directly to someone on the street?
Someone can have a car and still be homeless. And these days, cars last for a lot longer so a car that “looks new” can be pretty old.
I lived on the street for awhile, and knew quite a few people that begged and buskered because they had to, and not because they were scamming people.
That and things can go downhill fast. You can buy a car in good times and be in bad times a year later but still have the car.
I mean, it was probably a scam but I’d still feel fine knowing that I gave a dog some treats and tried to help someone with $10 and if they’re going to abuse that, that’s on them.
What’s the scam exactly? Fake dog?
Panhandlers will use props to garner sympathy. We have very strange ideas about demanding authenticity from people begging for money. Like, if you have an apartment and a car but no current source of income, are you allowed to beg in order to get money for food and rent and whatnot? Or do you have to be completely destitute?