i would second that this may be hormonally very pregnant fueled angst talking. my wife had twins 4 months ago. it sounds like your wife also has issues but pregnancy, birth, twins, recovery…having and raising twins is overwhelming. does your wife have help and a support structure in place? not trying to second guess her, but being in a foreign country, maybe no close friends or family, a small child, and then having twins…frankly it would be exceptional if anyone in such a situation was on an even keel.
talk to a lawyer.
try to prevent irrepairable damage.
remove your daughter’s passport. if possible, take you wife’s passport(s) and green card. you can give them back later.
is your wife a us citizen?
can you talk to your wife’s family and try get them to help. get mil to come out for these last few weeks, birth and afterwards.
again, we had twin girls on christmas eve. we have so much help and support, and it is still almost overwhelming.
If you do this, you will have to be prepared to spend every hour of every day with them, or they may attempt an international kidnap. And I cannot stress this enough - once they are on Japanese soil, you have lost them.
Even if you have an injunction and all other legal devices in place, they can still leave the country if they are clever, and that will be that.
If you really think this is even slightly likely to happen, then try for a court order that only allows your wife supervised contact with her children.
(Again, only speaking from experience of friends, and knowledge of the situation in Japan.)
I’m a little puzzled why you entitled this thread “I think my marriage is over” when, in reality, you seem very indifferent about the end of your marriage and much more concerned about the welfare of your children.
If I truly suspected my husband were taking off to another country with my children, never to return, you can bet I wouldn’t be tippy-tappying on an internet message board, “I think my marriage is over.” I’d be knocking on laywer’s doors, calling the police, freezing bank accounts and credit cards (Your wife cannot purchase plane tickets without money), and soliciting the support of anyone who will listen to me.
Doing nothing is not an option. You are the children’s father and, if your wife is as you say, you need to protect them. You helped create three children, damn it, now act like a parent.
At the very least, call the airlines and ask what would happen if a very pregnant woman shows up at the gate, and tries to board. Maybe give them the heads up about the imminency of her labour.
That and fight, fight, fight. Three little kids are depending on you.
I second contacting the airline and her doc.
Flying is dangerous to her and your twins during the last trimester.
Its not a matter of premature labor, but one of mother and fetal circulatory problems. The changes in cabin pressure paired with not moving for long periods of time, can cause blood stasis (pooling, and clotting.)
The airline can and will refuse her service if they know she’s in the third trimester… They don’t want to be held responsible for any harm the might come to her and/or your twins.
I would take your child’s passport, and lock it in a safe deposit box or other safe location your wife cannot access.
Do you know what airline/flight your wife is ticketed for? I would call them for their regulations of allowing pregnant passengers. I would think that most airlines would not allow a woman that far along in a pregnancy on any flight, especially an overseas flight. If they have a policy against it, you might want to tip them off about a very pregnant passenger planning to be on Flight X. The good thing about this being a twin pregnancy is that it is very unlikely that she will be able to convincingly lie about not being as far along as she actually is.
It’s hard to know how your wife’s OB will be about this. Depending upon the HIPPA stuff she’s signed, they may not be able to discuss her with you at all. If they can, though, you can ask their opinion on her being allowed to fly right now.
The best advice you’ve gotten here, though, is to see a qualified attorney ASAP.
Good luck, and I’m sorry for all the turmoil in your and your daughter’s life right now.
How sure are you that this isn’t a pregnancy-induced raging-hormones issue? My wife threatened to go back to China and live with her mother and father a number of times when we had our first daughter, but was much more calm for the second one when her parents were here for her. Part of that is wanting her family around her and since it was her first child( and mine) she was expectedly scared. Our second daughter was much easier because it wasn’t The Great Unknown, and she had her parents here to comfort her. Child birth brings a whole boat load full of hormones into the picture and if her mother is in Japan she may want her mother there for support. Just my $ 0.02.