I’m sorry. Flame if you will, but I can’t take it anymore. I asked yesterday if anyone was incapacitated by fear, and yes, a few souls admitted that this is a terrifying situation. But it seemed a very small number.
I am still unable to eat or sleep. I’ve lost five pounds in two days. I’ve had about 30 cups of coffee in two days so I can watch coverage. I’m shaking. My head is pounding. I can’t focus at work because I’m trying to stay on top of the news, and I AM AFRAID.
In this thread we are asked what rights we’d give up to feel safe again. And I am greeted with disgust to admit that I would do ANYTHING to feel safe again. If you want to search my bag at the airport, go ahead. If you think I’m suspicious, question me. If it takes two hours to get on the plane. I don’t care. I want to be safe.
In this thread I’m criticized for cancelling my trip to Vegas and expressing concern that flying isn’t safe.
People…IT ISN’T SAFE. John Corrado said it best: IT AIN’T OVER. Who knows what horror they have in store for us. Cabbage says he/she heard a report that they’re planning a suicide mission into a NUCLEAR POWER PLANT.
So, I find it very hard to believe that no one else on these boards are afraid. Afraid for their lives and the lives of their families. I can’t return to normal until I’m sure this is over. I can’t. Gas, nuclear warheads, carbombs, hijacks, viruses…they have it all.
If my fear means that I’m a weakling and the terrorists have beaten me…then so be it. I’m beaten. I’m sorry.
jarbaby,
I mean this sincerely- get thee to a mental health/disaster counseler ASAP (call the Red Cross for a referral).
I think you need to talk this out with someone soon. Losing weight, not eating, and staying glued to the TV (which of course is full of horrible images and heartbreaking stories) cannot be healthy.
jarbabyj. What Zette said. It’s quite scary for everyone. However, letting your health deteriorate is NOT going to help matters. Maybe all you really need is to get out and be in the company of friends and loved ones.
Sorry to say, but life isn’t safe. It’s fatal. Terminal. We are all going to die.
Refusing to live our lives because of that fact is wasteful and, frankly, stupid. Show me a credable threat, and I may be afraid, but otherwise, I’ll take reasonable precautions, and get on with my life.
I’m heading to NYC this weekend, leave tomorrow. However, next weekend Nen is in town, and I’d like to get as many ChiDopers together as possible. I’d like to be able to hug each other and vent and scream and do whatever is necessary to hopefully help each other. If you could make it, that would be great.
And what happens when I’m out with friends and family, having fun at the mall and another bomb hits, killing another 10,000 people? What will a new pair of shoes matter then?
And what shall I say to a counselor? I’m a twenty eight year old woman who’s crying like a baby and scared of the monsters under my bed?
Right now I am in an area that simply isn’t well known enough to attack. The odds of me getting killed by a terrorist are far less than me being struck down by lightning. It isn’t logical to be afraid in my present circumstances.
Would I be nervous to fly? Certainly. But I simply cannot stand the idea of someone else controlling my actions through fear. It’s simply no way to live. So if I have to fly, I will.
So tell the terrorist to go fuck themselves. Don’t let them win.
Right now, it’s they who are doing the hiding anyway. The report of further hijacking attempts have turned out to be false. The immediate response to even the perception of a threat should be reassuring. This is probably the safest time to fly ever.
So when you say, “It isn’t safe.” What is it that isn’t safe? Crossing the street? Hanging out in high-rise buildings? Driving a car? Juggling flaming hand grenades while bicycling across a high-wire while wearing a “terrorists suck ass” sign in Kabul, Afghanistan?
Try identifying your specific fears and then rationally considering how much of a real danger they are to you.
I’m afraid of a war starting. I mean it. Instead of our lesson, we discussed what went on this week in Western Civ. I. I asked my professor if he thinks there will be a war, and he said probably not-but I can’t help but be afraid.
I am scared shitless that some idiot is going to start something. Killing Bin Laden is only going to make it worse. This isn’t a country we’re dealing with-it’s an extremist organization. We can’t just declare war without understanding their motives and WHY they think like this.
What will sitting huddled in your house mean, in that situation? It will be no more helpful, and you’ll have missed out on some joy in life.
As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what you should tell them. Then they’ll have a good idea of how to help you. They’re professionals, and will not be judging you to see if you’ve got "proper quality fear’, just that you’ve got fear, and need help. It’s what they do, and they’re good at it. Let them do their job. You’ll be much the better for it.
JBJ, really; it’s time for you to get some help. You’re going into a state of feedback shock; you’re making yourself scared, to the point that you’re seeking out and repeating phony news stories to help make yourself scared. Cancelling your trip to Vegas is understandable - I’m scared of flying at the best of times - but if your health is deteriorating it’s time to get some assistance.
You have to stop this. Now. And if you have to tell a counselor you’re a 28-year-old woman scared of monsters under her bed, tell her that. Fright and panic are common problems, especially at times like these. You’re not functioning properly, now be an adult, get up, go to the phone and do something about it and FIX IT.
i feel like shit too, but life goes on and you can’t just sit in a rut. personally, my eyes hurt from the smoke and constant straining at the tv and this damn computer screen and i have a case of sensory overload. you have to move on with your own life. i think Tranquilis and Rickjay are right on the money and i suggest you take that advice.
Peace!
Be beaten. Feel helpless. Surrender to your fear. It is okay. You need suffer no criticism for this as your response is completely justified. Others maintain a sense of strength and bravery even now. They will be strong for you and care for you. Tend now your health and your soul so that when strength fails others, you will be able to bear them up.
Um…if it strengthens my position any, jarbaby, I’m also a counselor. I gave it up to go back to acting, but…if it would help to talk to a friendly face that just happens to have a couple of degrees, my offer above goes double.
jarbabyj, people react differently. Some are lashing out in anger, others are fearful…YMMV.
Please take this in the spirit intended but it sounds like you are almost incapacitated by fear and nerves. You need to get some help in coping. The simple fact that you accuse others of lying because they’re reacting differently is a pretty strong indicator of how badly fear is impairing your judgement.
Guin, how could it get worse? They hit us as hard as they could and we’re still here. Those who we have lost are not forgotten. And now we and almost the entire world are united.
Could they hit us harder in the future? Possibly, but they will do so even if we do nothing.
We understand their motives well. In the end it is our very existence that is an affront to them. There is nothing we can do that will ultimately placate them and lessons of the past have taught us that appeasement simply makes matters worse.
If we do not strike back do you really think that they won’t hit us again? Of course they will. So we need to make sure that we disable their capability to do so. And unfortunatly that means there will be difficult times ahead. But not so difficult as it would be if we were to simply cower in our homes and do nothing while awaiting the next blow.
At work I spend far too much time visiting news sites. When I get home I watch and listen to a good 5 or 6 hours of coverage. I can’t stop. The images have transfixed me.
I still think I have a bit of denial working it’s mojo on me. Little facts (the building my father-in-law worked in up until 5 years ago is no longer there) work their way under my armor.
Fear is hitting me from different angles. Am I afraid for my own safety? Not really, though I probably should be. But when I hold my 15-month old daughter in my arms I get afraid. Afraid that I won’t always be able to protect her. Afraid that I won’t be able to answer her questions in the future about why this happened. Afraid that someday she’ll be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I think your absolutely right about a couple of things. Airport security is a joke, I don’t have a problem with more in-depth searches. I probably would’ve cancelled a Vegas trip too. Your reactions are normal. Terrorism is a terrifying event because it doesn’t make sense, because it’s targets are usually random, and because it’s sometimes unpreventable.
Maybe I’m being unrealistic, but I do believe that at some point in the near future, things will get back to almost normal. Air travel will never be the same, but life will balance out.
Hang in there jarbaby. Being afraid doesn’t mean they’ve won, it just means your human. You really should talk to someone though, especially as you’ve just started a new medication. Make sure the dosage is right, and that your fear isn’t being amplified by a side-effect.