A psychologist that was interviewed on…ABC, I think it was, said that 1 in 6 people are going to suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I don’t know if her numbers are accurate at all, but the symptoms she described are exactly what you seem to be going through.
I echo the others in this thread in saying please talk to someone that can help you. You are in danger of doing serious damage to yourself, and none of us want to see that.
One of the goals of terrorism is to paralyze people with fear. These monsters want us to sacrifice our freedoms, change the way we live, and cease doing the things we normally do. It’s a time for morning, but not without getting back to business and reclaiming our lives. It’s one way, an important way, to show these evil thugs they cannot win.
It’s OK to be frightened, but if you can’t keep it in check it enough to muddle through your day, it may be time to talk with someone.
Other things to try, IMHO: attend a memorial service, put out an American flag, donate time money or blood.
Blackclaw-please have some respect not to turn this into a debate.
jarbabyj-cut back on the coffee. Take a long hot shower, curl up in your pjs, have some herbal SleepyTime tea and get some sleep-it sounds like you need it. Watch the Simpsons tonight-it’s certainly helping me.
Am I scared? Yeah. Am I incapacitated by fear? No. You know why? Because there’s nothing I can do at this point. Come on, Jess. I do stand-up comedy for a living. How well do you think my career’s going? Almost not at all. No one feels like laughing. And I have to try to make them. Christ, we’re all scared. It’s okay to be scared. It’s natural. But it’s not okay to be so overpowered by your fear. To quote a line from a fantastic movie, jarbabyj, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” I’ve made my choice. Life is too short to be scared all the time. The minutes you spend in fear could be spent doing something you really enjoy.
Thank you all for your kind words and urges to get help. I’m still finding it hard to accept that because I’m scared, I’m mentally unstable or childish but maybe talking would do something. Worrying about death is nothing new for me. I do it every day, with everything I do. I know I’m going to die someday, I just rather hoped it wouldn’t be on a plane with my hands bound and stabbed to death.
I’m taking next week off from work. I’m going to stay home, in my apartment and close everything off. Right now I’m forcing myself to eat a sandwich.
I think it’s unfair of me to think that I suffer from this by watching something on t.v. when people who were really there or in Vietnam or in Japan or Korea are far worse.
TVeblen, I’m sorry I accused people of lying. I just want to feel a little more normal and it seemed to me that no one was admitting they were afraid.
If you’re out with friends and another bomb hits, you’ll know that you’re surrounded by friends who are just as scared as you are, and are willing to stay by you as long as you need. The shoes are just a reason to get out.
Tell the counselor that like millions of other people, you’re very very frightened. In all likelihood, the counselor will reply that he/she is too. But it will give you a chance to talk, and that’s the part that matters most.
We went for dinner last night with a friend who’s been doing nothing but watching tv, by the time we were done, she and my wife were ready to drag me out shopping.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being scared. I’m in downtown DC and I’m looking over my shoulder every five minutes. There IS something wrong in being scared and refusing to talk to someone about it. And funny enough, that’s what we’re all doing right now, so I guess we’re all on the right track.
The next step is to call a friend and make plans to go for coffee, go dancing, whatever. Or maybe wander the streets looking for a certain welder. Maybe he needs company too…
Here’s a polite, don’t-really-know-ya-but-what-the-hell chuck on the shoulder for ya.
jarbaby, these folks are right.
Like you, I have the inclination to glue myself to the TV, and watch every minute of coverage in order to try to make some sense of it. Watch all you want, however, and there is no sense to be made of it.
I have been saved from my own inclinations by my kids, however. I keep the TV and radio turned off when they are around, because I don’t want them enveloped in fear and despair. In the interest of their mental health, I’m saving my own.
I listen to the radio on my way to and from work, and cry my eyes out. I allow myself an hour to watch in the evening to catch up on what has been learned during the day. (I send the kids to the bedroom to watch cartoons then.)
You’re abusing that frightened child inside you, jarbaby. Stop immersing yourself in the coverage. Turn the TV off a while, and get outside and entirely away from the events of the day. Aerobic exercise is good — walking, playing a sport, or some other activity to remind you that life is still going on. (I highly recommend cardio-kickboxing.)
Jarbabyj, you need a break from the TV. I know I was getting overwhelmed and I was in the car listening to the radio at the time. I switched the station to the Disney station and listened to YMCA by the Village People. I actually felt better.
So get away from it. Take a walk, read a book, watch the birds, anything you find peaceful, actually the birds will remind you that it’s ok to smile even in times like these. I like Guinastasia idea of the Simpsons tonight, but maybe for you, because the way you are feeling you might feel guilty about something so trivial, so maybe the Animal Channel is for you.
And it is ok to get counselling, I think that is not admitting a weakness, but is a strength.
Well, y’all are stronger willed people than me. I can’t turn the T.V. off. I can’t turn my radio off. every room of my apartment has something on and I have my walkman when I walk the dog.
If I don’t have some sort of coverage on, my mind races at what horrible things could be happening. My husband wants to go to a movie, but I don’t understand how he can…what if something happens? What if we don’t know what’s happening? If I hadn’t been watching for a particular fifteen minutes yesterday I might not have known that they’d found a stewardess with HER HANDS BOUND in the wreckage. No one is talking about that.
I don’t know. I just…I’m glad I’m on vacation next week. I wish I had a sleeping pill. My brain won’t let me rest.
jarbaby
IANAP, jarbaby, but shutting yourself off from the world is exactly the wrong thing to do. We’re not concerned because you’re scared, we’re concerned because your fear is obviously steering you down a dangerous path.
The sandwich is a good start.
Now, you need to talk to people (face-to-face) about what you’re feeling, see that there are others around you who feel the same way, and figure out how to move on from here.
I count twelve people saying the same thing: get out there and be with people, preferably a professional who can either tell you, “You’re just scared and that’s normal,” or, “Here are some steps you can take to help you turn off CNN get your life back on track.” PTSD is not an all-or-nothing condition; we’re not saying you’re like a Vietnam vet, we’re saying that you’re telling us you’re shaken and afraid, and you could maybe benefit from talking it out with someone.
I live in New York. I grew up five minutes from a creaky old nuclear power plant. Now it’s surrounded by National Guardsmen.
<shrugs>
Fuck it.
jarbaby, your vacation plans for next week scare me. Holing up by yourself in the house to watch more of this coverage is the last thing you need.
So what if you had missed that 15 minutes of coverage where they discussed finding the flight attendant with her hands bound? You would have one fewer ghost to be personally haunting you right now. That would be a good thing.
Hey, Chicago dopers ---- I think you ought to schedule an intervention, and get jarbaby away from the media a while. (said in a joking manner, but I’m utterly serious. The kindest thing anyone could do right now is to engage you in some kind of physical activity, away from discussion of the tragedy.)
Take care of yourself, jarbabyj.
Fear is a completely natural reaction. I am sure many a survivor of the WTC was motivated by fear in exiting the building and seeking safety. However when you permit fear to control your life, it creates problems.
I can’t tell you to not be afraid, because your fear is completely justified. The attacks on this country were serious and catastrophic, and there may be more attacks in the future. The whole idea of war is frightening.
But if you are losing weight, unable to sleep, or you are having any problems coping with this great tragedy, please don’t be afraid of getting help. Counselors will not laugh if you say you are afraid of monsters under your bed, chances are very likely that they have experienced similar problems with fear themselves.
Cigna is offering free counseling assistance to ANYONE having problems coping with this disaster:
http://www.cigna.com/general/misc/statement.html#counseling
or call 1-800-554-6931
That is why you need to seek some help. It doesn’t make you crazy, it makes you smart. Everyone is scared, but it is a different story to be so scared that you cannot turn off the TV or feel free to leave the house for a movie.
Zette
Jess, hon, listen to these people. We care about you and right now I’m more afraid for you than anything else.
Am I afraid of what might happen? For me and mine personally, no. I live in the middle of nowhere. There’s nothing within 50 miles of me that’s important enough to be a target.
My disagreement with you was not a sign of disrespect to Jarbaby, quite the opposite. You were simply feeding the fear.
And I also wouldn’t have all the information I need to know what’s going on. That would be bad. I’m trying to stay on top of things to protect myself.
No thanks. I’ve got my medication and my dog. If I can’t work through it myself, I’ve got bigger problems. There are people worse off than me. There are people who are dead. My referal for ‘psychological analysis’ is in the mail from my doctor, I should get it next week.
Forget it. I just wanted people to know why I was afraid to fly, afraid to work next to the Hancock, And now I sit around thinking about “Taliban Retribution”. I just wanted to vent I guess. I’m sorry for calling you liars.
This all reminds me of a quote from a movie (I can’t remember which one…it used to make me laugh
A: I’m going to die.
B: We’re all going to die sometime.
A: Yeah, but not today.
jarbaby
Dear, FEAR IS A PERFECTLY NATURAL REACTION TO THESE EVENTS! Concern for others is wonderful. The realization that these things can happen again is totally good. What we are saying is that, by being overpowered by your fear, you are compromising your health. “Talking to someone” or even getting medication that can help you are not ways to dull your pain but are methods many of us have found effective to put things in perspective.
I’ve mentioned before that, for me, after living through October, 1962, every day since has been gravy, something to hope for but not to expect. And that living in O’Hare’s blast radius “helped” develop my fatalism, which is the way I dealt with the reign of terror that was the Cold War. But I was awful scared for an awful long time first. It got too tiring, but the ennui that replaced it is not that healthy itself. What I want for you and my family and my friends is something better than what I have. By getting professional help now, before fear has ground itself so deeply into your soul that it becomes you, you have a chance for a happier, but still realistic, life.
Please go to http://mytherapy.com. They have hundreds of online counselors who will even call you (I think) or counsel you online. Normally there is a fee for this service, however, according to the local news it is now free in light of the recent tragedy.
I plead with you jarbabyj not to isolate yourself. I was suffering bouts of depression a few months ago and thought I needed to be away from work. In fact, I felt worse as you have nothing to do but occupy your mind with defeating thoughts. Please reach out beyond SDMB.
jarbabyj, i know that going out and doing things right now is very scary for you. But logically (Stupid word to use at the moment, I know) the chances of anything happening right where <i>you</i> are is very small. And when you go, and see that nothing happened when you went out, maybe it will make you feel just a little bit better.
As I understand it (tell me to screw off if I intrude) you were having anxiety problems prior to this, so I wouldn’t be surprised that you reacted this way. I wouldn’t say you’re childish for feeling this way, or that you should feel bad because you weren’t put in physical danger by these acts.
Hell, I caught myself wishing I had someone to grieve for when I went for lunch. Which is fucking sick. But maybe then I wouldn’t feel guilty about crying for people I’ve never met. Maybe then I’d feel like I had a right to be pissed off at humanity for being so goddamn depraved. Like I had a right to feel uplifted by so many random acts of kindness committed. Like I’m not crazy to want my goddamn hands around the necks of the fuckers who did this.
If this is how I feel, I wonder how the real victims feel.
Sorry for bringing up something so inconsequential as shoes.