[QUOTE=zelie zelerton]
See? If she had a two-foot high elephant she’d be able to keep it for longer than a baby one. We need to breed pygmy elephants!
[/QUOTE]
No problem. Just get an elephant to make love to a pot-bellied pig. Bring some wine and play some Elton John music to get them in the mood, and voila!
[QUOTE=zelie zelerton]
See? If she had a two-foot high elephant she’d be able to keep it for longer than a baby one. We need to breed pygmy elephants!
[/QUOTE]
You have given me much to consider.
I want a baby elephant. And a couple of tiger cubs. And a whole family of meerkats.
I want a War Elephant.
And no, I haven’t gone to see The 300.
[QUOTE=NinjaChick]
I want a hippo.
And a wombat.
And a capybara.
And a reeally big back yard.
[/QUOTE]
You don’t want a hippo. They are some bad mutherfuckers. I don’t know about wombats but it would be worth it just to say “Oh that? that’s my wombat”
[QUOTE=Malacandra]
You know what you do with a wombat?
Play wom, of course.
I want a pet newt so I can call him “Tiny”.
Because he’d be my newt.
And an 800-pound gorilla, just so we’ve got someone to ignore while we’re arguing.
[/QUOTE]
And where would your 800-pound gorilla sleep? 
[QUOTE=Siam Sam]
And where would your 800-pound gorilla sleep?
[/QUOTE]
In a gorilla bed, of course. (You were expecting me to say “anywhere he wants to?”)
[QUOTE=mobo85]
Owning a godless killing machine is not cool, man. You’re on notice!
[/QUOTE]
Either you are a master of Photoshop, or I really need to start watching more Colbert Report.
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor]
I want a War Elephant.
[/QUOTE]
In that case, I want a Camel Archer!
I have a penguin! Well my mother told my grandmother I wanted one and she got me a plush toy one. So I’m slightly closer to my goal.
But I want a real elephant. The one I can ride around on.
And a polar bear.
I’ll be out back building a huge cage.
Oh and I also want a bunch of meerkats. I just have to build a good enough cage for the polar bear not to eat them all.
Platypi, people!
An animal so ridiculous you just gotta own one! Duck bill, webbed feet, beaver tail, lays eggs, feed milk to its young, has poisonous spines, and that electrotrosensory thingy like sharks have.
They’re god’s little ransom note!
[QUOTE=betenoir]
I’ll be out back building a huge cage.
[/QUOTE]
RE elephant cages. The ones here are made from train rails. I can’t remember if they are sunk into the ground 6’ or 8’.
[QUOTE=Aioua]
Platypi, people!
An animal so ridiculous you just gotta own one! Duck bill, webbed feet, beaver tail, lays eggs, feed milk to its young, has poisonous spines, and that electrotrosensory thingy like sharks have.
They’re god’s little ransom note!
[/QUOTE]
Mark Twain said the platypus was proof that God had a sense of humor.
[QUOTE=zelie zelerton]
Nooooo! You guys have got it all wrong!
We want PYGMY elephants! Ones we can keep in the house.
[/QUOTE]
Just buy a regular elephant and then flush it down the toilet when it gets too big.
I want an elephant, a brahma bull, a goat, a flock of chickens*, a few pigs and a pony.
*including peafowl, pheasants and various and sundry other large fowl. I had a pair of peafowl, they never made a noise and the male never spread his tail, but yes, their scream is supposed to be horrific.
I want only one thing: dominon over the Earth. By which I mean the entire world at my feet, your entire pathetic civilization reduced to savagery, all of humanity renouncing false gods in favor of worshipping me as God-King, and Alyson Hannigan, Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, and **Anaamika ** as my four primary love slaves.
But y’all already knew that.
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
Jodie Foster… love slaves.
[/QUOTE]
Is that you, John?
[QUOTE=zelie zelerton]
We want PYGMY elephants! Ones we can keep in the house.
[/QUOTE]
Here you go. 
I’m satisfied with the animals I have. None.
True freedom is after the kids leave home and the dog dies.
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant]
Here you go.
[/QUOTE]
But, but I want, I want, I want PLEASE can I have a pygmy elephant that stays little and will be little ALL the time and never get big and huge and boss me and have issues and tromple people and she would love me for ever and ever! And I would be her family, and she wouldent miss all the other elephants ever cause it is sad to miss your family but she wouldent cause she was my elephant and she was happy. And she would like our dog really a lot and they would be friends too but mostly me.
Please?
