I want the truth about penis enlargements!

Factual Questions
1

First, I’ll get the obligatory ‘You can’t handle the truth!’ response out the way NOW, sparing the gentle reader further Nicholsonesque variations and preserving the integrity of the Reiner/Sorkin film.

Concerning penile enlargements (referred to hereafter as PE): I’ve seen the odd ad or two on the obscure webpage and / or (ahem) men’s pictorial periodical often enough to wonder, idly, about reliable methods for, uh, enhancement. I’ve heard of surgery ($$$), tantric exercises (sounds too much like work), massage techniques (Right. Like I wouldn’t have figured that out myself by 11th grade), and more.

What’s the Straight Dope about PE?

2

Do penis enlargement devices actually work?
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_056.html

3

You don’t want to know. Really. You don’t. It’s a subject that has torn the boards apart.

4

Oh dear. I just hope JDT doesn’t find this thread.

5

Surgery works, about 10,000 per year are done in S. Calif. They take fat & put it in the penis. Askia, I can find a doctor for you if you’re ready.

6

Caldazar posted a link to the original Straight Dope column, but Cecil Adams updated his answer.

The more recent column:
Is it possible to straighten and lengthen the penis? (20-Oct-2000)