… but I’m not sure how that would be taken by the attendees. :dubious:
My brother died 3 1/2 weeks ago, completely unexpectedly, of a pulmonary embolism. He was 28 and left behind a wife and four kids. They’ve had a memorial service in the town where he lived, and are having one here in Indy this Saturday.
My mom has asked me if there’s anything I want to put in the memorial “pamphlet” that will be at the service for people to take with them. I’m sure she’s looking for a heartfelt memory or something, but I’ve really gotten it in my head about this song. He was a HUGE movie fan - especially Monty Python - and could recite lines all day long with you. (When you weigh over 400 pounds, you don’t get out much. Hence, the movie-watching.) Plus, he could be hilarious and loved nothing more than making people laugh. He had this laugh that sounded like a little girl’s giggle - totally strange to hear that coming from such a huge man. Anyway -
Instead of putting anything in the brochure, I want to find this song and play it at the end of the service. I’d be willing to say a little piece beforehand explaining my selection, just so folks wouldn’t think I was being disrespectful or irreverent.
First and foremeost, my heartfelt condolences to you and yours, Avarie537.
I personally think it’s an awesome idea. I imagine anyone who knows him will get the gist. Remember, memorial services are for those left behind. You’ll be honoring his memory as well as (I hope)getting a bit of comfort for yourself. Why, he’s probably smiling about the thought of it right now.
I’m so sorry for your loss Avarie537. The loss of a loved one is never easy but it seems especially tough when it’s so sudden.
Please check with his wife just to make sure she’d be ok with this. I’m willing to bet that she would be, as she was married to your brother and would know about his sense of humor and love of Monty Python. If she’s ok with it, I say go for it.
People who know your brother would expect nothing less than a tribute to who he was. If this is him, go ahead and do it.
Since I married into my husband’s family, I’ve become a professional mourner. I’ve seen people leap out of their chairs and applaud the deceased’s life for five minutes running. I’ve heard jokes, seen tears, seen kids practically hopping into the casket with their dead dad, drinking at the funeral home…you name it. It all depends on who you (and he) are.
Don’t let others dictate what you think would be a fitting tribute. I’m sorry for your loss.
Hey, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I can’t imagine. I think you should honor your brother in whatever way you feel is right in your heart. Please don’t worry about what others may think or say. It’s not about them, it’s about the relationship you had with him. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t follow your heart
I’m sorry for your loss, but your brother sounds like he was a great guy.
I’m planning on using it for my (eventual) funeral. I have the sheet music and want the organist to sneak it in between the mournful hymns. The thought of segueing from *Have Thine Own Way Lord * to *Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life * to Just As I Am tickles me no end. By doing it instrumentally, none of my in-laws would get it but all my cousins will be giggling like mad.
Avarie537 I just assumed your sil would be there. Since she’s not and I’m guessing the folks at the memorial service in Indy know your brother well enough to know he had a thing for Monty Python, then go for it. I was thinking that if she was going to be there it would be a good idea to get her feeling on the idea because people have different ways of dealing with grief and sometimes don’t like lighthearted or funny stuff at services.
Personally I hope everybody laughs it up at my own eventual service. Though I am leaving instructions for long, slow, tortuous hymns to be sung. Hey, I wanna have some fun too!
I just spoke with the services director at the Funeral Parlor. Apparently, my mother has arranged for a soloist to sing a nice Christian song somewhere in the service. WTF? I realize that memorials are for the living and all, but if he had any say in his service planning, “god”, “jesus”, “heaven”, and “hell” would have been banned words. My brother was an atheist “at worst” and a neo-pagan “at best.” He thought that Judeo-Christianianty was a bunch of bull, and has for YEARS. And she knows this. (She was very much bothered by this fact of his existence.) Oy vey.
I plan to have upbeat but traditional songs at my funeral Mass (Sing with All the Saints in Glory, How Can I Keep from Singing?) but when the formal part is over, my parents have been instructed to play “Blow Gabriel Blow” from the De-Lovely soundtrack. That should get people tapping their feet on the way out of church.
Your mom is doing what makes her feel better, it doesn’t have to stop you. You are grieving, this is your way of saying how much you love him, appreciate who he was, and that’s all that counts. She can have her Christian thing, and you MUST do this for you and for him. Don’t let anyone beat you up about it. It’s absolutely right and true and if he’s out there he’s totally loving you for it.
If it’s likely that anyone may feel offended or hurt, I advise that you not play “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” at the services. But if those who attend are aware of your brother’s fondness for Monty Python, I would expect that, rather than being offended, they will probably be reminded of your brother’s sense of humor, and that’s a great thing to be remembered for.
My Aunt Doris died last year. She had told several members of the family that the only music she wanted played at her funeral was “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Everybody has a song that’s dear to the heart, and that was my Aunt’s favorite song. After quite a bit of discussion, Doris’s children decided to overrule her wishes, and they did not play the song at her funeral. Some folks have no sense of humor.
Well, better “Always look on the Bright side of Life” than “Sit on my Face”, I suppose.
Seriously, Avarie537, I’m sorry for your loss, and for your nieces and nephews. My dad died when I was 14; I remember a guitarist playing three songs at his memorial service, and the third (in contrast to the first two) was an upbeat, happy tune. It worked exactly the way it was meant to.
My funeral will be a strange mixture of the sacred and profane. I have some favorite church hymns I want sung that are not usually associated with a funeral, and I definitely want someone to play or sing the the ending theme to Dr. Strangelove, “We’ll Meet Again” as my carcass is lowered into the ground.
Sorry for your loss. I’m sure your brother would get a chuckle out of the whole affair, plus would want his mom to feel better, so don’t sweat the Christian stuff.
My worry is not about friends and immediate family being “offended.” It’s my mom & step-dad’s religous friends that might not appreciate the humor. I know that unrelated people come to the service to be support to the relatives, and those are the ones who wouldn’t “get it.” My step-dad is the music minister of their church, and my mom teaches Sunday School and is one of the choir directors. But she likes & gets Monty Python (she wasn’t religious until 10-12 years ago).
I plan to have upbeat but traditional songs at my funeral Mass (Sing with All the Saints in Glory, How Can I Keep from Singing?) but when the formal part is over, my parents have been instructed to play