I was going to start a Pit thread about SexyWriter.

The BBQ Pit
41

You’re right you need to wake up before you post. I wasn’t (I thought fairly obviously) referring to this asinine discourse that pre-occupies you about deconstructing the “real” implications of her chosen SDMB ID. What I was referring to were her explicit statements about her SDMB rhetorical posture that more or less stated that she likes to flirt and is comfortable with the envelope that male flirting responses to her on the SDMB have been contained within.

Secondly cut the crap about the gibbering man-slaves of onan offending you so. This is a political issue start to finish. She’s smart but her behavior offends you. “I don’t want to be a prude… but, but really! It’s just bad form!”

Depends on whose “form” we’re talking about. SexyWriter wants everyone to know all about hers. I think she claims hers can stop traffic.

I know several energetic, intelligent women with what one of them calls “excessive flirtatious energy” per the characterization of the Julia Roberts character in “The Runaway Bride”. I also notice other women’s responses to them in social situations. Though polite, it is rarely positive for perfectly understandable evolutionary, social and political reasons. It may be un-PC to consider but some women get an ego kick and personal gratification from being sexually provocative. It may be a cheapo thrill for her and her acolytes but I doubt the SDMB will degenerate to a virtual sweating, grinding, orgastic humpathon degrading to women, children and humans in general because SexyWriter chooses to be the virtual “Whore Of Mensa”. It’s 2001. If one small woman wants to be “SexyWriter” light a candle and get over it.

42

I believe this is what the problem is. As you say above, SeyWriter wants everyone to know all about hers. This gets real old, real fast and everytime I’ve seen someone get overtly sexual on this or any other message board, the same thing happens. Nothing but a giant almost-hotchat fest.

I figure if you want to hotchat, then take it to an IM or email, not here.

My two pfennigs.

43

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Settle down, kids. Now I know why I stay away from the Pit.

Hama- in all honesty, although I see what you’re getting at, and would agree on some points, SW et al are right in saying the tone of the OP was not complimentary. The first line has lost all meaning by the time people reached the last sentence. Re-read it.

SW- I really gotta disagree about the part that “Sexy” in your handle doesn’t in some way convey to people how you want people to perceive you or how you perceive yourself. C’mon, you’re a writer, you know the power of words. I smell bullshit and I’m gonna call you on it. I certainly checked out your website based solely on your handle. :slight_smile:
Nice pix, by the way. And I mean your photography. (And you are cute, too, lest there be any confusion in what I’m trying to state.)

The “show us your tits” comments by other posters do tire me out personally. But in MPSIMS, they’re fine. Who cares? SW, you seem to be confident and open with your sexuality and that makes you a cool chick in my book. But, as Hama seems to be doing in her OP, she places much of that blame on the drooling men on this board. (And, yes, SW seems to be indicted, too.)

Like I said. I don’t like reading the posts of a group of horny men that exist in this cyber-society asking to see SW’s tits. So? Well, then, I just scroll down past those. Easy fuckin’ solution, no?

SW, I love your lively writing style, and I very much enjoyed your landlady rant, but I think Hama’s point about “Sexy” in your handle is valid. And Hama, I see what your saying and I even agree with a lot of it. But please re-read your OP, and honestly, can’t you see how people misconstrued your point? If you don’t like SW’s flirting, skip over it.

Yeesh. Time to cook.

44

You know, I am one of the most clueless people I know. So it should not surprise me that until this thread, I always thought “Sexy Writer” was a handle that meant the Doper wrote Erotica. It never occurred to me that she (or anyone) would use “Sexy” in their name as a referral to themselves.

I get what Ham’s saying. Of course, anyone is entitled to pick whatever username they want. Ham knows that (I’m not saying it for her benefit, I mean). I can tell you that it would start to bug me if I saw a preponderous of usernames like “BustyJuggs” or “Cutie” or “TotalBabe” or “HeadGiver Extraordinaire” etc. I’d never really thought about this before (see above), but I suppose a handle which self-compliments a poster sexually or physically could be taken as a harbinger of worse things to come, trendwise. Especially if posters of the opposite sex started to respond to the poster based on their name.

I like the brainy aspects of this board. I like the occasional aspect of the flirting, generally because I take it to mean people are crushing on each other’s wit and intellect instead of their faces & bodies (it is in my case–I’ve got more crushes on female dopers than males just now, but in RL I’m physically attracted to men). I’m not keen to see that change, and thus speaking for myself I’d rather not see people choosing an identity that seems to point that direction. Nothing personal against anyone who chose a flirty or sexual username. It just makes me wince.

45

Jonathan, I honestly pondered long and hard about ever responding to this (which I was directed to by YOUR thread about Sexy). I’ve read this thread long and hard and I squirmed in my chair with nervousnes and internal discord.

Because I think I agree with both sides of the issue, and I want to carefully CAREFULLY post a response without risking my life and ‘hanging in the balance’ newbie reputation on the board.

I’ll be honest. I was taken aback at your thread about Sexy. First, I laughed out loud at your surprise that a woman could be Sexy AND a writer. Wow! Guess what? I’m a sexy writer woman, too. Email me for a sample chapter. But I think what bothered me most (and caused me to post on your thread) is your assertion that she’s the best newbie to come down the pike.

I’ve been here since December, I’ve seen 80 billion people sign up on this board since then. A lot of them have turned out good. Sexy is one of them. But a lot of us men and women are funny and sarcastic and smart and flirty. I brought up my Brazilian thread in yours not because I wanted to draw attention to myself, but in essence to say (and this is where I agree with Hama) that you wouldn’t have noticed Sexy’s “cool and funny” greatness if you were not lured in by her “Sexy” name. Just my opinion.

I checked in with that thread today and decided not to post to it anymore because someone said (paraphrase) “It’s great to see these four women fight about their tits.” and someone else said that they were going to save that thread in their hall of fame! And now I’m sorry that I ever contributed, not because I don’t like to talk about sex or my third nipple, but because I realized that I was slowly building a reputation of being “one of the chicks who will get gross”, and that’s not really what I care to be known for. I don’t want to start a thread about my upcoming back surgery and have someone break in to say “take a picture of your tits for us while your at it!”.

And let me say this next part carefully…I like Sexy a lot, but like Hama, when I first saw her name I rolled my eyes…HARD. I’ll admit it. I judged a book by it’s cover, just like I did with BeerNazi, a whole other kettle of fish. And like Hama, I discovered that she was a well read, funny and indeed sexy woman.

What has this response accomplished? Probably not a damn thing. And I’m sure everything I’ve said is wrong to somebody and I’ll lose some of the precious few friends I’ve made on the board, but I just wanted to say that I think yes, your thread contributed a lot to this one, at least in my eyes.

jarbaby

46

I really wish I’d thought of these sort of things before I signed up. I can’t tell you have many women have hit on me for my username. I mean, ladies…c’mon. I know that the simple mention of “mouthbreather” (whoa, I got shivers just saying it) send you into a twitterpated frenzy, but keep it under control.

:cool:

47

People. People. People.
This is such a waste. I hate to see a catfight like this.

Why don’t we settle this reasonably.

Sexywriter, Hamadryad, go put on your string bikinis, I’ll go get the giant tub of Jello, and then we can do this thing right, Ok?

48

Random thoughts:

  1. I think HAMA is a great poster – knowledgeable, funny, and generally reasonable.

  2. I think SW is a great poster (y’know, for a newbie :wink: ) for the same reasons.

  3. I think flirty threads like “virtual marriage,” “how big are you tits?,” “who would you elect Doper prom king/queen?,” etc. are annoying with a big fat Capital A.

  4. So I don’t read them.

  5. I would greatly appreciate it if people could keep the overt flirting to MPSIMS and IMHO because then such nonsense is easier to spot and avoid. I hate hate HATE tripping over such exchanges during the course of a discussion about something else; it’s like being at a dinner party and having two other guests begin groping each other. Get a room; specifically, get a room in MPSIMS or IMHO.

Thank you.

49

I just can’t stop thinking about Techchick and Sexywriter.
I just love older women…:slight_smile:
S/W/28/M

50

Freedom, shut the fuck up. You wanna flirt, MPSIMS is RIGHT over there.

As I’m still annoyed over my DAMN COMPUTER being fucked up from my office moving, I’l keep my replies short.

Xploder: well said. I agree 100%.

jarbabyj: Hell, you may lose a few friends, but you just gained me as one. Not sure if that makes up for anything, of course… :wink:

And she brought home what I think is the point. Yes, SexyWriter may be cool. (After her behavior in this thread, I say not, but hey.) But, would you have started a thread for her if her username was something else? Probably not. You wouldn’t have noticed how “cool and funny” she under another name. Or if you had, you wouldn’t have started a thread on it.

My $.02, FWIW. (Oh, and for those who think I’m jealous and/or projecting things? Blow me.)

51

Hama said:

Hama,

If I wanted to go pit-like on you, I would have done it much earlier in the thread, with my first post. I don’t want to do that. I know that you and I could easily have an all-and-out flame war, our pasts aren’t exactly filled with niceties…I recall a few boxing matches here, at least one ended with bloody noses.

Anyhow, if I see something I disagree with and can confidentally (sp) disagree then I will speak up. I am doing my best, with not just you, to be as civil as possible when it comes to problems I see on the boards. My past sucks, I wish I could change some things but that doesn’t preclude me from jumping in where I see something wrong.

I hope your apologies are honest and true. I can’t tell as it’s a message board and given other things I will have to accept what you say as true and hope you are being true to your words.

With this, this is the last thing I have to say on the subject. I think SexyWriter is a kick ass poster. She’s confident and upfront with this, it’s cool with me. I am sure her tits are larger and perkier than mine but I don’t care. She believes in herself, from what I can see, and damn I envy that trait. I only hope that her short time on this board and the events that have taken place in this thread don’t turn her off to the board as whole.

52

::Raises a hand::

Hi…guy here…guy who makes sure to read any post he spots by SW.

Is it because she calls herself ‘SexyWriter’?

Not even close. First time I saw that name, I cringed. I figured it was another ‘imtosexyformycomputer’. Then I read one of her posts. She’s bright, funny, and a generally good read.

If I was one to start ‘This is a newbie I like’ threads to begin with, I’d most definitely have started a thread like JC’s.

Actually, since I really don’t read MPSIMS any more (IMHO, yes, MPSIMS…no), I never even noticed any excessive flirtation directed her way, or any mention of her tits outside this thread.

I’m rather offended by the implication that no guy can like a female poster except for her phyisical attributes, but, it’s not like my opinion counts. I’m just a man, after all, I’m nothing but a batch of hormones.

53

Thanks Tengu.

I don’t really want to revisit this anymore but feel I’ve got something I’d like to make clear.

SW’s handle really didn’t enter into my equation when creating that thread. Honest. Instead, I realized over the course of about a week that there was this newbie (or so I thought) whos posts had been remarkably entertaining and intelligent.

So, since I’d seen it done by others, I decided to start an appreciation thread. Do I regret it now? No, not really. But I think I am a bit more wary about playing in the sand box that is MPSIMS.

Now look, it’s not that I expect everyone to believe me. But I try to live my life (and write my posts) in such a way that I can be respected by the people I meet and who read my posts (even if they personally despise what I do/write). I like to think that my little Napster tete-a-tete with idiotboy is an example of that. We started out on completely opposite ends of the debate but ended up enjoying it and (I at least) finished with a respect for the others point of view.

So please, accept my premise that SW’s handle didn’t play into my decision to launch that thread. I hope my behavior on the boards earns me that much credit, at a minimum.

54

Tengu, quit trying to score brownie-points with SexyWriter. You horny bastard.

55

Hammy, you fucking ROCK!

Interesting thread…

:wink:

------------------------------------------------------------[sub] HI UNA![/sub]

56

Ok, now I feel bad.

Jarbabyj, please let me assure you that I for one am unlikely to start thinking of you as being solely a spicey poster, the sexy lady with a third nipple, or saved/waxed hoo-ha.

I’m more likely to continue to remember you for the first thread I remember seeing you in, wherein you explained your name had absolutely nothing to do with JarJar binks, as well as the thread where you introduced me to the term hoo-ha opening a discussion as to what age it is no longer appropriate for mom to bring male children into the ladies locker room to change.

I apologize if my summation of things I enjoyed in the SW appreciation thread caused you discomfort.

-Doug

57

I know we’re trying to be serious and pit-ish here but I just would like to say that when I was saved…the Lord saved everything…not just my hoo ha :smiley:

Lord almighty…my hoo ha is saved!

OK people…let’s get serious. :: cough ::

Dub, no apology necessary. The things you remember about me are solely due to the things I throw out there for remembrance. If I’m upset that people think a certain way about me, it’s because I’ve brought that vision upon myself, and i’m solely to blame. that’s why I stopped posting to the SW thread, because I was in danger of creating a permanent mark on myself.

I’ve received some nice emails today, and I appreciate them. this was an ugly day of SDMB male/female combat in four different threads I visited, and I hope tomorrow will be different.

jarbaby

58

And I have made several notes, simply based on observation.

WARNING: Disclaimer - I’m a guy. I’m a 20 year old guy. Take cover!

:rolleyes:

Quite frankly, I have been all over the SDMB, maybe not posting on everything, but just reading, and getting a better insight. And I have found that SexyWriter is an intelligent woman. True, she flirts, but many others do. If you insist on running these double standards, how can you be anything but a hypocrite?

But when we, as simple and flawed human beings, keep continuously picking away at each other, no good can come of it. I mean, we are adults, aren’t we? Can’t we resolve a problem like that? (Or most of us think we are. Whether or not it’s true is a different topic.)

Also, I wish to stand up in defense of DECENT men. Not all of us are slobbering, drooling freaks wanting women to show their tits. Quite frankly, the only woman who’s tits I want to see are my fiancee’s.

I myself do not talk with people just because of their names. I have a Yahoo friend with an incredibly sexy name, but I met her through an anime message board. I read a post by her, and she seemed level-headed, and so we started talking. We are good friends now. This is an example of what happens when you talk to somebody and base it on their writing. Now, if they continuously write sexy things, then that would give you perfect reason to bitch them out.

(God, I’m loving the BBQ Pit! Bring on the fire!)

Now, I am not married myself, but I am engaged to a wonderful woman, Rose. (She is nowhere near this message board, thank god!) But, I do flirt with people, and enjoy being flirted with in return. But for those who are testosterone poisoned (meaning they do all their thinking with their small head instead of the one on their shoulders) I pity, because they ruin the name of men in general when there are those of us who are actually pretty pleasant guys.

A futile thread, why don’t you guys just drop it? Fight over something else, like why the sky is blue? Or why do they call them TV sets when you only get one?

Less people would be hurt and take offense. Thanks for listening to me.

59

Hama–I completely understood the meaning of your OP. Taken apart and dissected word by word even the most innocuous post can be turned into a fuck-you fest.

Forgive me if I paraphrase but I understood that with her chosen pseudonym you were expecting some vapid xxx-site chatter but were relieved/surprised/encouraged to find that there was some substance in the words of the person associated with that somewhat fluffy name.

I am guilty of flirting, sexy banter and references to my body piercings, and I suspect my words would warrant closer scrutiny if I called myself the The Lusty Mermaid, SpankMe,or PuffyPiercedNipples.

I think posters should be judged by their words and general strength of character, not by a single phrase, word or even one entire post.

So fer Chrissake lighten up people.

SexyWriter is an intelligent, thoughtful poster look beyond the name.

Hamadryad just fucking rocks. Has nobody heard of sarcasm?

60

I think Hama’s point was that you probably wouldn’t have noticed her in the first place if her handle didn’t have “sexy” in it. If it had been something innocuous or boring, I don’t think SexyWriter would have been so gratuitously lauded.

IMHO, it’s a shame that the possibility that someone may, perhaps be attractive (as evidenced by their handle) in any way overshadows that poster’s intelligence or wit. But it happens.

I’m not jealous in any way; I do my share of flirting, and there are pictures OL to prove that I back it up IRL, too. I just think it sucks that someone’s username garners them more attention that the strength of their posts. If SW’s name was “Laura The Writer” or something similarly non-sexual, I seriously, seriously doubt she would have gotten a thread in MPSIMS.