I’m not sure I agree. First, what I’ve seen of SexyWriter’s posts outside of MPSIMS (which I don’t visit often) are substantive. There was a period of several days where her posts and mine would follow each other (weird timing or something) and I had the opportunity to read a number of her posts. I think she has a strong “voice”, a good posting style, and makes worthwhile contrbutions to the threads she’s in.
That said, fairly early in my SDMB “career”, I was privilaged to recieve two extremely flattering threads, one in IMHO and one in MPSIMS about my posts and what a promising newbie I was, and yet there’s nothing remotely sexual about the name “Fenris”. (even if there was, I strongly doubt it would have interested Lexicon, who started one of them. )
What I’m getting at, is that people do create “Hey Newbie! I like your stuff! Keep it up!” threads, without sexual motivation.
Well, first, I’d like to say I agree with jarbaby and Falcon, and several others in the same line of thinking. And Hama as well. I understand what she is talking about. And if you dissect any post as much as hers has been dissected, there will be much madness.
So, not that anyone cares what I think… but I say shut the fuck up about the OP being insulting. This is the pit. The pit is full of rants. Rants are not usually rational or logical. That’s just the way they are. The original poster doesn’t care about your defense of yourself. You aren’t going to change the original poster’s mind, in all likelihood. The original poster doesn’t want her mind changed. She wants to rant. Get over it. It’s a pit thread.
The dudes on this board are really the only ones I see that should be offended, that is, if you aren’t a slobbering mouse jockey with callouses. If you aren’t, we likely haven’t heard from you. If you are, well, shut the fuck up too.
I may regret posting to this thread. But I think that same sentiment is keeping many from posting.
Nailed it, Sara! Perfect. The use of the S-word isn’t wrong, but it has created a situation of heightened prominence, concurrent with value-laden expectations.
We would agree, I think, that sex matters in our world. For example, I think Michelle Pfeiffer is a wonderful actress (Batman, Dangerous Liaisons - two very different roles, two successful characterisations). But deep down I know that she gets those jobs because she is a hot babe. Very few actresses getting leading roles today that look like Bette Midler or Ethel Merman or Ann Revere (ie plain).
And sex has come to matter out of proportion to the part it really plays because it’s been hyped - large companies make money out of sex. So when the word “sexy” is used it is loaded with all sorts of meanings, that the same people will find different at different times.
For example, when I constructed my profile I put down as one of my interests “sex”. When I re-read that an hour ago I thought “how crude. What was I thinking of?” and began to change it. Then I thought, “but I’ve mentioned I’m gay, and its part of my understanding of gay pride not to be ashamed of liking and valuing sex” so I left it in. Three different responses to the little word, from one man.
In the same way the word “sexy” has meant different things to different people, who have then seen each other differently because of the word, as the clued-in Nacho4Sara has pointed out.
The wise Mermaid sums it up:
Can I add I also loved reading what jarbabyj said. And hope to read more of what all of 'em have to say on other topics. I love women posters, and I love these Boards. And Fenris and Dr_Paprika…
I was polite in my first response, since I figured the sexist shit being leveled against EVERY male on this board was simply a mis-aimed shot against a very small group (Which, in Hamadryad’s case, and most of the other posters to this thread, it appears I was right), and simply wanted to pull myself out of the line of fire.
However, since doing that has apparently gotten me labeled as a sex crazed troglodite by some, can I just say:
…
Y’know what…?
I don’t know WHAT to say in response to that shit…
When I came in here first, I wanted to find out what Hama might have against SW - I haven’t seen all her posts, but all the ones I’ve seen are solid. Found myself agreeing with the intent of the OP (if not the rather ill-thought-out phrasing - I came into this after it was clarified), though eventually defending Jonathan Chance (and by extension, myself) against ill-supported (though possibly, for all I know about JC, correct - sorry, man, I don’t know you from Adam…) charges of sexism.
Now, because you’ve ‘heard from me’, I’m the kind of knuckle dragging, hormone addled twit Hama was ranting about?
If I’m misinterpretting your post, I apologise in advance, but…CHRIST…
This posting is a little early, as paperwork needs to be
signed but anyway.
slight hijack/ I’m too lazy to read the entire SDMB slave
auction, what was the final bid for SW/Laura??? I’ll raise
it $100, throw in a plane tkt to NC, all the back/foot
massages she can stand. She won’t even have to bring her
chips, dips, chains, whips, or candlewax for the nipples. I’ll provide it all. end hijack/
.
I corrosponded with Laura last year soon after she joined
the board. I found her intelligent, well versed, and very helpful in the subject we discussed. Since she has started
posting frequently as of late, I’ve gone back and read many
of her post. The same still goes. This woman has brains. And looks. And she has selfconfidence. I like the way she
writes. Hopefully she’ll stick around
Oh, and why are we wondering so much about this whole phenomenon? I mean, look at us, as a group. We’re hopeless, myself included. We’re a group of people that are (predominantly, I would hazard) sex-and-affection-starved, and a large number of people came here out of loneliness. Like myself. It isn’t any wonder to me why certain people are worshipped as Board Royalty, why certain posters who put attractive pics on the People Pages, or talk about nipple piercings, etc. are lusted after. A large number of us have been so affection and love and sex-starved our whole lives that it’s no wonder to me why so many threads (and some Dopefests, for that matter) turn into somewhat toned-down Greco-Roman orgies.
It bothers me too, just like Falcon’s point about popularity contests bothers me too - she is correct again. People who were in the underclass in High School come here and try to make up for the years of torture and abuse by trying to be a proverbial big frog in a little pond. It doesn’t really bother me, it’s just sad is all.
Hmm. Well some of us come here because[list=A][li]We are bored at work[/li]
[li]We like the interesting exchange of views that are predominant in GD (and sometimes even in the Pit)[/list=A][/li]
Still, each to their own.
As one who’s been known to be a wee bit twitchy sometimes ( as I did Here, I figured I was gonna let loose when I read your O.P. too, because of this line I’ve quoted.
But, one tries to live and learn. I don’t know you, but it sure sounded like a rant that lacked total focus. I for one am glad to read that you’re not backing down but are instead clarifying your O.P. a bit. Love the Pit, love it more when someone has the spine to step back into the firestorm and publicly adjust a statement.
Besides, wondering where someone’s been sticking that thing is just as important as wondering what’s been stuck INTO someone else’s thing. ( All of a sudden, it’s 8th grade Health Class in here ).
"Smith suddenly stood up and stripped off his coat. Rolling back his left shirt-sleeve he revealed a wicked-looking wound in the fleshy part of the forearm. It was quite healed, but curiously striated for an inch or so around.
"'Ever seen one like it?" he asked.
"'Not exactly," I confessed. 'It appears to have been deeply cauterized.'
" 'Right! Very Deeply!' he rapped. 'A barb steeped in the venom of the Hamadryad went in there!'"
– Sax Rohmer (Arthur Sarsfield Ward), “The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu” (1913)
Yeah, well, “it’s a pit thread”, so the person in question who feels offended has just as much right to bitch back. You’d have to be a special person to say “Well, this person is insulting me, but since it’s a pit thread I’m not going to defend myself or take offense”.
People respond to allegations, defend themselves and snip back. Get over it. It’s a pit thread.
Okay folks, I thought I was going to stay out of this, but it seems I am not.
I am a very open person about my sexuality even to the point of defending myself because somebody called me a whore because I don’t have a problem with sex just for sex.
I also feel that I am a good well informed poster when it comes to other things besides sex.
So, how do you see me?
I know this whole thing got blown out of proportion but seriously guys. This whole thing is starting to clutter up the boards.
I have been absent for a while with work, and when I come back SW is mentioned all over the place.
I got to see her posts in Ayes thread and she seemed like a nice person, but directing everyone over here to see herself martyred is to me a self stroking of the ego. Who needs that kind of attention.
There are others out there that are wonderful women who can be sexy and the men here know it and love them for it.
Persephone is a wonderful person and is adored by the men here. Purplebear fits there also. EvilBeth, Falcon, Techie, Shayna, and many more.
What makes them special? The fact that they know when to be flirty and they know when to be serious. They also know when to stop beating a dead horse.
I thought the OP was quite plain in what it was saying. And maybe if SW was a bit more confident with herself she would have realised that it didn’t start out as a personal attack. A rant in general about board behavior lately that went bad.
Well, it is the first day of spring and we will all be able to get out more and get over our cabin fever.
I skim it to specifically determine who hates ME this week!
Hmmm, nice to see so many people talking like me. Blessed are the peacekeepers; may they bang their heads against stone walls forever.
Hama, occasional pal, take the advice offered several times and WALK AWAY FROM THIS. Yeah, I get your point, but a poor choice of words in your original post dug you a pit and your subsequent posts have only dug it deeper. Your point was lost a long time ago, and you are the one who lost it. Now you are getting into stupid, tangential fights that cannot be won by either side and have resulted in anger and hurt feelings when none was necessary or (originally) intended.
The point being, why does the second part matter? I remember SD pre-People Pages - very rarely did you have any idea what posters looked like (unless you skimmed the TM profile pages or personal webpages). Still, there was a helluva lot of flirting going on. I know, this from the person who links her pic in her sig line, but it still irks me that the fact that she has “looks” (as opposed to those without looks? People who are simply in possession of two eyes, a nose and a mouth?) somehow makes her more impressive as a poster.
I agree with Kricket - if someone signed up with the post name “Big Tits Galore” or “SexyBlueEyes” I would hasten to conclude that they were overcompensating. I view this as primarily a place I visit to learn, not to make friends and fall madly in love and flirt wildly, and I’m much more impressed by someone with a name like Democritus - the laughing philosopher, awesome handle - than “FlatAbsBigBoobs.” YMMV, however.
Just something for everyone to consider as well - if you remember a certain male troll who bragged about his huge cock - how many women were impressed with that? I seem to recall his bragging being met with disdain and condescension, not laudatory threads out the wazoo. Just something to think about. Perhaps Hama’s comments were no so out of line when you put it in that light.
)
