Oh no you didn’t.
Re’ the OP, it was highly inappropriate, yeah. I belong to one such group (well, used to…haven’t been in a while) and one day I got a few private messages from a rather new member saying we should get together and see a movie sometime.
Um, this IS a movie group…if we happen to go to the same shows, then sure, we can see a movie together.
Otherwise…:dubious: It’s not a “singles/dating” group, after all.
I didn’t respond to either message…I was creeped out and hope he got the message that his advances were unwelcome.
I was not pleased recently when the leader of the group sent out an email informing members that they HAD to post a photo of themselves (“I don’t want to see a sunset or your dog…a photo of YOU.”)
Ya know, some of us might not WANT to post a photo, perhaps for personal or personal safety reasons (maybe we have a stalker or a violent EX or don’t want our boss or whoever to be able to track our personal interests and activities, whatever). OR we simply may not appreciate someone joining and PMing people based on their picture.
So not the worst thing in the world to ask for contact info (and it seems like the host/leader might have over-reacted…but maybe this sort of thing has happened before?), but not OK.
Ayahuasca, then?
Just to be on the safe side, I interpret all signals as signs of disinterest. It’s really the only surefire way for a man to avoid the “creepy” label.
I think you have oversimplified this in lumping all men into just two categories: Mr. Sensitive and Mr. Creepy. There are certainly other types. And it is a “numbers game” in the sense that you have to meet a lot of people in order to figure out who you are compatible with. You can’t expect to marry the first person you meet.
Mr. Creepy, hitting on everything that moves, may be more successful than Mr. Sensitive who is standing in the corner afraid of being rejected. But there is also Mr. Social who is friendly and confident, not afraid to start conversations but also respects boundaries and social norms.
Mr. Sensitive lacks confidence and this limits the number of women he talks to and the quality of his interactions. Mr. Social and Mr. Creepy both have confidence but Mr. Creepy will frighten away most women. Mr. Social appeals to a wider audience and naturally does better than Mr. Creepy. Just having three types is still too simplistic but it is sufficient to illustrate the point that not only creepy men do well with women.
Frankly. this is not my problem. Women do not owe strange men any particular kind of signal, clear or otherwise, simply because they are attracted to her. In any case, chances are, Mr. Player actually is extremely adept at reading social signals, and chooses to use that skill for his own sleazy purposes. Being ruthless is not the same as being unskilled.
What fears are women calling up when they think someone is “creepy?” They are afraid of being raped or stalked. What is a good clue that someone might have the potential to be a rapist or a stalker? He either can’t or won’t repsond appropriately to your social signals. The classic rape story begins “He seemed a little bit off, but I wanted to be nice and he hadn’t done anything wrong…” Listening to your intuition about a stranger is generally a good idea, even if it means some socially clueless guys get a bit of extra rejection.
This has always been my tendency as well, to my detriment. A woman who later became my girlfriend asked me why I didn’t make a move on her the night we met, when she was so obviously making a pass.
Huh? I remember you wanting to go out on the porch alone with me, and that you kept talking about sex… ohhhhh. :smack:
What have I done?
Not at work.
Short answer: yes. I belong to MeetIn - a group that would often bounce even long established members for reasons like that. Most of us want to go out and do things but the “dating” aspect just isn’t where we’re at. It doesn’t mean we won’t make friends but it does mean that we’re there for the activity first and the friends later if that makes any sense to you.
The problem here is that learning how to flirt is just that - a learned skill. It is somewhat analogous to dancing. A bad dancer is always stepping on his or her partner’s toes, cannot read his or her signals, etc. A good dancer responds to his or her partner. The OP is an example - his fault was that, instead of initiating the dance properly, he went charging in with army boots and stomped on toes all over the place. 
For many guys, in terms of flirting, they simply are unskilled in initiating or recognizing flirting, distinguishing it from other forms of interaction, etc. Which leads them to act either ‘creepy’ - inappropriately initiating or continuing flirting where the other person is signalling that none is wanted or in circumstances where they ought to reasonably know none is wanted - or disinterested - not recognizing that the other person is initiating flirting and unwilling to do so oneself.
Naturally, the ‘creepy’ get noticed more, since the ‘disinterested’ simply fade into the background …
Nice Guy™ Redux.
There’s a basement lab at my school with a printed sign on the door - “Mixed Signals Laboratory”.
I think it’s an engineering lab, but I keep picturing a room full of clueless men trying to figure out of the woman meant anything when she X, or of women trying to figure out why the men don’t get it when they do Y… Kind of like some threads around here! 
That post should be read in the tone of someone who has just accidentally run over a small child with his car.
Next time just post a photo of Urkel and I’ll get it.
Meetup is high school drama loaded with loser nerds. What you did was forward, it wasn’t creepy or stalkerish. The organizer is defensive because he’s dealt with a$$holes in the past. Same with the chick. Also he is jealous because he wants her and she rejected him. His attitude is if he can’t have her no one can. There are many many instances of people hooking up using meetup. There are many relationships that started from Meetup. There are many instances of jealous people banning guys that use Meetup to meet women. If a person gets a player reputation they get banned. That’s even if they are nice and not creepy or stalkerish. Every single guy has attempted to meet women on Meetup. Those with game do and are successful. The majority fail. Start your own group and do what you want.
**THIS:
[QUOTE=Persistant unwanted sexual advances are “creepy.” If you find that person attractive, those advances are less likely to be unwanted and thus they are not creepy.
[/QUOTE]
**
This thread is from 2011, other. The OP’s probably in prison by now.
I miss Cat Fight. 
Well, he hasn’t posted since last July, and given the content, you may be right…
I think this is an example of a guy only taking advice half way:
Q: I want to meet women, what’s the best way to do that?
A: Try to find a social activity with women, at public places that women feel comfortable at.
So he joins a meetup with the intent to meet women. At this point I can’t fault him; he’s probably just following some previous advice a little literally.
Unfortunately after that he skips a bunch of steps. Rather than meet this woman in person, he wants her number right away. OP, understand that at this point you are still a stranger. A stranger she hasn’t met. And you don’t know anything about her beyond a photo. Which reminds me:
Even when we go beyond compromising her feeling of safety, ask yourself this: what if she’s annoying in RL? What if she had an annoying laugh or some other tic? What if her photo was deceptive and she’s much fatter or fuglier than you originally thought? You call her, the stars align, she’s into you, but you can’t stand her. Now she’s calling at odd hours, taking your attention as the assumption she’s now your girlfriend, being annoying and clingy, etc. That would really suck, huh? And just think how big of a bullet you could dodge by actually meeting her, introducing yourself, and getting to know her.