I wish to declare war on a foreign country.

You just woke up my kids asshole!
(OK - I admit it, I woke them up laughing)

Who knew your kid’s asshole was such a light sleeper?
(I’ve heard cream might help with that)

He could grip it by the husk.

You’ve yet to see anything outside your parents’ basement.

You know, the best thing you could do for your kids is to give them to foster care. They’d stand a much better chance at growing up at all, much less well-adjusted.

That’s what you see. This, on the other hand, is reality.

LeJ: [Something, anything]

You: [Incoherent babbling that can hardly be identified by sapient beings as a premise, counterpoint, or anything else besides gibberish]

LeJ: [Breaks out the universal translator to decipher your babbling]

You: [Hurl insults]

LeJ: [Hurls them back]

You: HE INSULTED US! HE’S A TROLL! PUT HIM ON IGNORE! Oh wait, didn’t we call him a coward for putting us on ignore… er, NAH! BAN HIM! HE’S A TROLL! PUT HIM ON IGNORE! WE WIN!!!
The moral of the story: any hominid that draws breath is GOD to you morons.

That’s a dumb response when it’s aimed at me, and it’s a dumb response when it’s aimed at him.

Well, there’s a reason why that’s what zoid sees.

This lettuce…are we talking genuine military grade lettuce, or imported lettuce from various South American countries? Do we have to test it for E. coli first? I mean, doesn’t the USA frown on biological warfare, except in the case of deliberate small pox exposure of the Native Americans in the 18th century? Do we have to provide dressing with that? God, this could be the next political nightmare!

Damn. Obvious troll much? Now you’re just trying too hard. Basement based insults were only effective before everyone and their grandmother could access the internet from their cell phones, and suggesting that someone’s children should be taken away is a clear attempt to cause rage.

So yeah. Your troll grade stands at a “D.” You made an attempt, so I can’t really fail you. You just didn’t put any effort into it.

Fortunately what he sees matters very little in the scheme of things.

You want to know the reality as it is on Terra Firma and not an insular hole in the ground like the SDMB? Most people on this forum use a lot of big words that they don’t really understand and make a lot of arguments that THEY think are complex and thought out, but yet at even the slightest hint of sunlight these same arguments self-immolate like thermite.

I have been accused of declaring victory, claiming to be GOD, whatever. All I ever do is read eulogies and scoop the ashes of self-destructed pro-offshoring arguments into urns. When it comes to someone getting their ass kicked like a soccer ball people like Zoid and Airman Doors, USAF do it entirely to themselves. I just provide commentary. That is all. For that I’m called a troll by people who have had as much contact with reality as Dick Cheney has had military combat experience.

The mistake I made on the SDMB boils down to exactly one thing: assuming that intelligent discussion ever happened here. The moment people started arguing the bullshit that tariffs make things more expensive while ignoring the fact that offshoring exacts HUGE costs upon society (unemployment, reduced tax revenues, swollen deficit spending to preserve the social safety net or drastic program cuts which drive millions into poverty), that was time to write this place off as a training ground for preschool admittance.

That’s why I come here. Keeps me from having to face life in the real world and makes me feel more smarter, whereas you clearly have been to Jupiter which has made you more stupider.

I remain convinced that there is a way to put a beat behind this paragraph, fix the words a bit, and make it into the nerdiest rap battle in history.

It actually is a training ground for preschool. That’s why there is an entire forum dedicated to getting yourself potty trained or learning how to fake it. My advice is to just hold your wee-wee as preschool only lasts about four hours anyways.

That was not an attempt to cause rage. It was meant in all seriousness and with alarmed concern over the harm that could come to a young mind that sees Zoid as a parent.

You are only right about one thing: I didn’t put any effort into trolling, because I wasn’t trolling. However I do understand your need to call me a troll - it’s the only way your limited mind can cope when talking to an actual human being, which to you must seem like a “GOD.” Pity that there’s something like 6 billion other humans out there who are also “GOD” compared to you.

Wee-wee. Another big word (by your standards) you know precious little about. Don’t worry, though, when you’re through training, in about 15 or so years, you’ll get told what a wee-wee actually is. Not that you’ll understand. Hint: it’s that pubic hair you piss from.

Charlie Sheen, is that you?

Or perhaps a roquette attack.

I’m thinking the OP is going for death-by-Mod here - there’s nothing in this thread by the OP except puerile abuse and smug internet wankery. Looks an awful lot like trolling to me. But once he’s banned the OP will get to crow on other messageboards about how he was so superior to us that we had to ban him lest we all fall before his towering intellect. Or, y’know, “WINNING!”

I do enjoy seeing such a dramatic statement complemented by an internet user name. “…a young mind that sees Zoid as a parent.” It’s just one of those rare things that you don’t get to experience in real life. Course, the way parents are naming their kids nowadays I’m sure we’ll see a kid named Zoid soon enough. Damn hippies.

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah! Stay off my lawn!!

Well, there’s six billion and twelve that are god compared to me, but at least they’re polite about it. Except for Clive. He’s a dick, and it’s not just me that thinks so.

I should be honest and say that I’ve given up on potty training long ago. I figure by the time I learn how to be out of diapers, I’ll be old enough to wear them again so really why bother. Not that your mother complained about it last night.

I didn’t really mean that last sentence. I’m sure your mother is/was a very nice lady. It just seemed that that sort of “zinger” was the level of discourse you preferred and I thought it would make you more comfortable. Have a groovy day sir and/or madam.

Death by mod? With this approach? I hope not. Saddest attempt I’ve seen yet. It’d be like trying for death by cop by holding yourself hostage with what is clearly a broken NERF gun. Just seems like his heart isn’t in it. This barely qualifies as a cry for help. More of a shrug for help. That could be a measure of his disdain for us. If only we’d been smarter. Then we’d get a real flame out.

Now I’m just depressed. :frowning:

This could be the original script for what became Independence Day.

Don’t outsource the death lettuce, or we’ll have recursive threads.

There are very good points to be made on your side of the discussion. You might even be right, but I’ve never been able to tolerate your threads to find out, because you can’t keep up your end of the fight without going nuclear right off the bat (There’s a mixed metaphor for you). You’re screaming about what ignorant monkey poop everyone else is before most of us have even found the thread.

The mistake you made is letting yourself become a spittle flecked self-parody.

If every thread you’re in is a trainwreck of idiocy, the logical thing would be to consider the common factor.

Oh, if I had a dime for every time someone said that to me…

Le Jackass has demonstrated the conduct I described in my previous post.
Is anyone shocked?

Do you mean to say that you are in charge of lettuce or that your head is actually made of lettuce?