Congrats to the Ukemeister!
What you should do is get an enlarged photo of an Edgar, mount it on cardboard, add some straps and wear it like a sandwich board. Then visit the offices of all the publishers you can think of. Someone is bound to take the hint.
p.s. So on “Stark Raving Mad” you’re Doogie Howser?
Aw, thanks, guys!
(painstakingly making list…Shayna, BoS, manny, Humble S, Eve, Dinsdale, Demo, pluto, Swiddles, DAVE, Biggirl, Unc, Scylla, InLeg…FRIENDS. Everyone else…THE ENEMY. Hah. SEE who gets their so-called manuscript looked at by any major NYC publishing house once I REGAIN MY POWERS.)
Scylla: An agent? An AGENT? SPAWN OF SATAN! No, I’m an acquiring editor. I look at manuscripts, but usually only after they’ve gone through an agent. Catch-22, eh?
Biggirl: I know the Editorial Director at Kensington…worked professionally with her for a while, and she was in my class in college. I’ll slip you a scrap of paper with her name on it at the NYC Dopefest. Tell 'er you know me…and she’ll probably set FIRE to your manuscript before she trashes it…
Demo: I’ll do it for five a week, but only if I get to wear the French Maid uniform.
DAVE: Geez, I’m not apologizing TWICE for the same wisecrack. I love children’s books…I LOVE them, all right? Matter of fact, when I sign off, I’m goin’ to go finishhreading THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH to my 5-year-old.
Swid: Okay, let’s open an office together. With our names, the walk-in trade will be phenomenal. How are you at penny-pitching?
– Ukulele “Bestsellers Guaranteed” Ike
Congrats, Ike!
If you need any phony references, I’d be glad to answer the phone as “Vandelay Industries” for the next few weeks.
YeeHa, Uke, congratulatelys! Editing is often a thankless task, and, of course, the best of y’all hold an invisible pen, nurturing the writer and not your own ego. It takes a lot of skill to do that at all, and that you’ve managed to bake that Enchilada in NYC is Muy Huevoriffic!
Hook yer wagon to that Raven and go on ahead. I hope you can soon look back at the fools who let you go and wave sweetly at their sinking caravan.
Aside from that, do you find time to write? I know many editors, some even up thar in NYC, and they all have a hard time finding the time. Well, I hope you do, because your writing on this board is always sought out, and much appreciated.
Go on with your Badself, Mr. Ukulele. May a thousand leis festoon your weekend!
You heard about Ukulele Ike? He’s one baaaaaaad mother-
Shut yo mouth!
I’m just talkin’ 'bout Ike.
This well-deserved recognition comes as no surprise to me, because you see, I already knew you had impeccable taste, having told me at the last dopefest that you found my posts funny. Congratulations and huzzah, sir.
Oh, and the semiconductor industry’s currently coughing blood, and I could be laid off at any moment, so if you and Swiddles need a janitor or anything, let me know.
Ike, you did well.
TV
Way to go Ike. No argument, The Bottoms is terrific.
WOW!!!
Asking for rewrites? Is Joe R. Lansdale currently writing a mystery that starts with the untimely death of a harsh taskmaster/editor?
Congratulations Mr. Ike. I’ll get the book this week-end.
Congratulations, Petite Guitare avec Quatre Ficelles Ike!
I’m gonna read that thang!
Ach, Ike.
To think I have danced with you. 
Many, many congratulations.
An aquiring editor?
<<<MysterEcks approaches with a copy of his novel…puckers up and eyes Ike’s rear end.>>>
Oh…downsized…ah well…
<<<MysterEcks unpuckers.>>>
Seriously, congrats–that is truly cool.
Hearty congratulations and sincere thanks, Ike. It’s tough, savvy, erudite folks like you who keep us reading junkies blissed out and coming back for more. True fact. When I’m disgusted by word-factory idiocies that get published they’re counterbalanced by real FINDS, available courtesy of the Ikes of the world.
Push hard on your lever, Ike; you did damn fine work and earned every bit of force.
(All that and an enlightend foodie, too. Blinkin’ over achiever…)
Button-popping proud of ya,
Veb
I just hope you get to man-handle a few more bottoms damn soon. Kudos, Ike – very major achievement. Make 'em pay and pay !
Ah, The Phantom Tollbooth. Damfine piece of work. Glad you’re exposing the chilluns to literature they can appreciate during their tender years and then delight in the finer points when they’re bitter, jaded, decrepit old farts like me.
I take back all the bad things I said about you, Ike.
Oh, and pluto, while your advice about the enlarged photo of the award on a sammich board sounds good, it’s actually not. The Edgar Award is one really ugly sumbitch of a statue.
Sorry, but prestige and good looks don’t necessarily go together.
Maybe Ike should just wear a Miss America-type sash trumpeting the achievement.
I don’t think we’ll have enough stuff to need someone to clean. However, if I know Ike like I think I do, I can guanuntee we’ll need a coffee boy.
Ike, I’m sorry to say that I am a lousy penny pincher. Maybe Lux can be our coffee-boy/penny pincher? I’ll be the one who bats her eyes and charms the clients while you dazzle them with your skills. In other words, you have the experiance, I have the mascara.
**
You say that like it’s a bad thing Eve.
Seriously Ike, I can only say one thing…
[sup][Bertie Wooster]
And it’s not often I say this…
[/Bertie Wooster][/sup]
TITS ON A RITZ IKE!
Now be a good lad and continue to suck up all of the praise flowing into this thread until we hear the slurping all the way out here on the left coast. Congratulations!
That’s great to hear Ike. I reviewed a couple of Lansdale’s Texas books for a South Carolina newspaper, and they were hilarious. Of course, I have a sick sense of humor, so that’s to be taken into account.
I hope Joe appreciated what you did for him…The few times I’ve had my essay manuscripts edited were humbling learning experiences. I went through those pages with a magnifying glass, and they came back covered with @#%@&^ scribbles. Misspellings, bad tense construction, bad word choices, everything. The bastids were right (well, 90% right, but still right).
Congratulations on the award, even if it is butt-ugly.
“Tits on a Ritz” indeed, Ike.
Mrs. O and I have both read The Bottoms and much else of S-ro Lansdale’s work. He definitely deserves it. And you’ve earned yourself some serious pats on the back for getting him up there. As me old granddad used to say, “It ain’t the dance you do, it’s the guy who choreographs it and pulls the strings.”
Well, he didn’t actually say that but “A fly ain’t nothin’ but a live raisin” just didn’t seem appropriate.
So anyway, now that I know who’s behind Lansdale, can you get me a cameo in any upcoming Hap and Leonard movies? 
Congrats Ike!!! [sub]Can I touch you?[/sub]
::MsRobyn adds The Bottoms to her list, as soon as she finishes Big Red Tequila::
Robin