This is but one of many absolutely worthless things I tax my brain with.
I wonder how many times…
…I’ve hit the space bar of a keyboard
…I’ve inserted a key into the front door
…Steven Tyler has sung Dream On*
…I’ve applied the parking brake
…I’ve put a hat on
…a bartender has opened a beer
…I’ve hit the snooze button
Add your own!
*-I guess that seems out of place, but watching this Aerosmith special on A&E sparked that question and this thread.
I wonder how many diapers I’ve changed in my life.
I wonder how many pieces of buble gum I’ve chewed
I wonder how many red lights are run each day in Los Angeles
I wonder how many grains of dust gently shift with lunar seismic activity
I wonder how many more diapers I’ll change
How many forgotten passwords I’ve reset?
How many utterly mis-guided calls I’ve taken? (This is ID Management and Security. Ya want more toner? Call Office Max.)
How many times I’ve shown my Fast Pass to the bus driver?
How many times I’ve slid a ticket into the BART faregates?
How many times I had to flag down the station agent as the gate ate my ticket?
How many eggs I’ve boiled?
How many times I’ve gone to the coffee room, only to find someone didn’t make more after taking the very last of the coffee?
How many granules of ground coffee I’ve measured into coffee filters?
How many buttons I’ve slipped into their buttonholes?
How many video fields (60 per second, in US) have flashed before my eyes?
How many molecules of oxygen have passed in and out of my nose?
How many times I’ve said “I love you”?
I wonder how many times I’ve put on my shoes.
I wonder how many times I’ve flushed a toilet.
I wonder how many times I’ve listened to/played “The Stars And Stipes Forever.”
I wonder how many times I’ve changed a tire.
I wonder how many times I’ve at least waded in the Pacific Ocean.
I wonder how many times I’ve watched a news broadcast on TV.
I wonder how many times I’ve smoked a cigarette (during the 24 years I did that).
I wonder how many times I’ve been in a doctor’s office.
I wonder how many times I’ve been attended by a doctor at home (I’m a geezer. . .it *has * happened.
I wonder how many times I’ve emptied a spit valve on a trumpet.
I often look at the sidewalk and wonder if there’s any part of it that hasn’t been stepped on at least once since it was paved.
I wonder how many times I’ve wondered.
I wonder how many times I’ve wondered how.
I wonder how many times I’ve wondered how many.
I wonder how many times I’ve wondered how many times.
I wonder how many times I’ve wondered how many times I’ve wondered.
I wonder how many times…
… I’ve laced my shoes right over left vs. left over right.
… I’ve pressed the number “6” on the phone.
… I’ve dialed a wrong number because I didn’t press the “6”.
… I’ve dialed a wrong number because I did press the “6”.
… I’ve swiped my credit/debit cards (collectively).
… I’ve improved somebody’s mood (unknowingly) with a simple word or deed.
… I’ve broken a pencil point.
… I’ve lost a pen because someone ‘forgot’ to return it.
I wonder how much/many…
… total laundry detergent I’ve spilled.
… tweezers I’ve lost.
… total gallons of gas I’ve pumped.
… jars of Alfredo sauce I’ve owned.
… strands of pasta I’ve eaten.
… people I meet are incorrigibly complete evil bastards.
… people I meet have a genius I.Q.
I wonder how many times I
*not that I really care, but I wonder anyway
I wonder how many raisins I’ve eaten.
I wonder how many cornflakes were in that last box.
I wonder how many drivers have given me the finger.
I wonder how many drivers I’ve given the finger.
I wonder how many inches of fingernail I’ve bitten in my life.
I wonder how many knee scrapes I had as a kid.
I wonder how many pounds I’ve gained, lost and gained again in the last fifty years.
This is addicting, isn’t it.
I wonder how many times I’ve …
… thought “<…posterusername…> is a genius”.
… snarfed on the keyboard and/or monitor (without actually posting about it).
… clicked on a thread and immediately regretted it.
… wished I’d replied to a thread earlier than someone else did.
… thought “<…posterusername…> is a freakin’ idiot!”.
… wanted to send a ‘Get Well Soon’ card to the hamsters.
… reread some favorite threads.
… aborted a reply because I thought it was unworthy or just sounded stupid.
… swore at my slow computer and/or dial-up service.
… giggled til I thought I would be sick.
… reflected deeply on something profound I’d read.
… cried and hugged the cat after reading something sad.
… panicked that I’d lost all comprehension of the English language after a completely incoherent post.
I wonder how many threads I’ve read total.
[Apologies to anyone actually named <…posterusername…>. Needed some false name for it to make sense, at least to me.]
I’ve brushed my hair
boiled a kettle of water
eaten chocolate
walked a dog
petted a cat
cried
laughed
burped
farted
picked my nose
trodden on people’s toes
been hit on by short men*
Lost my glasses
*I’m 6’2"