I wrote a story set in the Old Man Logan universe

Cafe Society
1

I wrote a short script (eight pages) taking place in the Old Man Logan setting a few years after the villains took over starring Bullseye that I would like feedback on. Here’s the PDF link.

Since I first read Wanted and Old Man Logan (both by Mark Millar) I’ve loved the premise of the villains taking over and dividing the US/world between them. Though many good stories have been written in the OML setting almost all of them take place 40+ years later when nearly all the heroes and villains are either dead or decrepit. I wish they made stories taking place within a decade of the takeover when everyone is still in their prime which is what motivated me to write this story. Bullseye is the star of the first story but I have other villains (Carnage, Paladin, Purple Man, Mr. Hyde etc) in mind for future stories.

2

I guess what I need is the reason for the scenes? Script-wise its fine, but I kept waiting for the “why am I seeing this?” If its part of a larger story…ok… but all I am getting is these two scenes so I have to evauate it that way. Bad guy doing bad things isn’t satifying on its own.