My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
“Who are you? And how did you get in here?”
“I’m the locksmith. And I’m the locksmith.”
There are a pair of Hong Kong flicks form the 90s, The Final Option (1994) and the prequel The First Option (1996). Both starred Michael Wong, a Chinese-American actor who barely spoke any Chinese yet somehow starred in a few dozen HK action movies (that he was handsome, and that the industry primarily shot MOS until the late 90s helped) as a cop named Stone Wong. In one of those, he introduces himself as (if memory serves) “You can call me Stone, or you can call me Wong, but never call me gwailo!” I guess it was a catchphrase, as he said it again at the HK Film Awards later on.
I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor.
FINDING FORRESTER has an elderly man reluctantly address a elite prep-school class — you know, in the sort of room with a big fine wall of portraits of literary greats? Where you’d expect to see a young JD Salinger type immortalized right between TS Eliot and Robert Louis Stevenson, looking like a brooding Sean Connery circa the 1950s before winning a Pulitzer and becoming a recluse?
“My name is William Forrester.” Puts on his spectacles. Takes a sip of water. Gestures in the direction of the wall. “I’m that one.”
“NOOO!!! You don’t have to call me Johnson! My name is Raymond J. Johnson Jr. Now you can call me Ray, or you can call me J, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Junie, or you can call me Junior; now you can call me Ray J, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJJ, or you can call me RJJ Jr. . . but you doesn’t hasta call me Johnson!”
Was just coming in to post that, spent time overthinking how long a version to use. Yours is relatively brief among the many time it’s been stated. Also, met a guy named Ray Johnson. He hated that bit.
“Joss Beaumont, espionage and ass-kicking!”
-----Jean-Paul Belmondo in Le Professionnel (1981)
‘Have we met?..I don’t recall.’
‘We just did. I told you, my name’s Chili Palmer.’
this quote beggs some audio/video for context:
“I am Vazkor, and your master. There is no doubt; accept it.”
Vazkor in Quest for the White Witch introducing himself to someone
I am Vinz Clortho, keymaster of Gozer.
From Niklaus Wirth, pioneering computer scientist, on the pronunciation of his name:
“You can call me by name, Veert. Or you can call me by value, Worth.”
(and on looking him up, I find that he died just last month)
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills: skills I have acquired over a very long career; skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it; I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
“Monkey, monkey? I’m a fucking gorilla you clown!”
Billy Ray Valentine, capricorn.
Nenge! Nenge Mboko, from Cameroon? Do you remember me? It’s Lionel Joseph!
Ryerson. “Needlenose Ned”? “Ned the Head”? C’mon, buddy. Case Western High. Ned Ryerson: I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson: got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn’t graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson: I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
“I’m your boogie man, that’s what I am.”
K.C.
The actor that Neilson throws that line at is Al Ruscio. He was my theater prof at college.