Ovulating
Lactating
Completely Hammered
Grossly Underpaid
Off Strategy
Hitting On You
Into Watching
Your Ride Home
This space intentionally left blank.
For rent.
Hello I’m.
Upside down. (obviously, this gag relies heavily on placement)
Off my medication
Any more “Hello I am” sticker replies we can come up with?
Jack’s loathing of the modern industrial military complex.
Hello, I am:
[ul]
[li]Bored[/li][li]Your worst nightmare[/li][li]Every woman[/li][li]Onto you[/li][li]Not at all what you’d expect[/li][li]Available[/li][li]Cheap[/li][li]Not listening to you[/li][li]About to scream[/li][/ul]
Flatulent
Damn, beaten to it.
- None of your business
- Looking for a better party
- A Cuckold
- An illusion
- Ignoring you
- In my happy place
- On the prowl
- Offended
- Afraid. Very afraid.
- Slightly askew (name tag must be a bit crooked. Or not.)
- A figment of your imagination
Hello I am:
Wearing no pants.
Not here, you did not see me, OK.
not a number, I am a free man. Be seeing you.
your new sex toy.
Two that I wanted for the wedding/party the night before the wedding:
-Not here with anybody
-Not actually gay, thanks!
the one your mother warned you about.
- either a excellent example or a horrible warning. You pick.
[ul]
[li]Your worst nightmare[/li][li]Lost[/li][li]Here by mistake[/li][li]Out of my mind[/li][/ul]
–Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute.
–The Preside…ooh! Shiny!
–Inigo Montoya, You killed my father. Prepare to die.
–Desperately in need.
–I am, I am Superman.
–King Kong and I’m 10 feet long.
–an emmisary from Vampire Nation.
… a rock.
… what I am.
… 16 going on 17.
… the very model of a modern Major-General, I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.
but you’d probably have trouble fitting that last one on a button.
I am… that I am. Tell Pharoah that “I am” sent you.
(Later: Pharoah says, “Why does a bag of cat food give a damn about the Hebrews?”)
“…I said.”
Hello I am. Are you?
Hello I am actually staring at your boobs.
Hello I am multiply orgasmic.
Hello I am a character from your next wet dream.
Hungry. Where’s the food?
I think, therefore, I am.
Hello. I am…
…not here. Leave a message. BEEP!
…saying hello. Why do you say goodbye?
…closer than I appear.
…going.
…burning your dog.
- Under new management
- All that
- Not the droids you’re looking for.
- 2-ply.
- armed.
- With stupid.
- Juror #12
- Overcompensating.
- Your cruise director.
- Stuck in the 80s
- Under indictment
- Misguided
- Breaded.
- 92% complete.
- Union made
* Not listening to you.
* Really a woman.
* Embellished.
* “They”
* Some random guy.
* An escaped felon.
* Liberace’s love child.
* Not an animal.
* The evil twin.
* The Russian judge.
* Late. (better if worn by a female. Even better if worn by a pregnant female)
* Filthy stinking rich.
* In my prime.
* Sleeping.
* Recently deceased.
* Not Dabney Coleman.
* Anal. (better if typed)
* A big fan of yours.
* Full of it.
* Hardly original.
* No longer contagious.
* New to this planet.
* Tetrahydrocannabinol.
* An artist’s rendition.
* ISO 9006 compliant.
* Anonymous.
* Vaguely familiar
I’m going to have a party and give everyone a nametag. Keep 'em coming!