More of a paraphrase, really. Last night, I was poking around on an old hard drive, and found a .wav that I don’t ever remember having before. It cracks me up, though, and I’d like to know where it came from. It’s done in a man’s voice, with a thick accent, probably Irish, possibly Scottish. (Possibly something else entirely, but I’ll stop at offending two groups.)
Anyway, he was presenting an extremely vague list of demands, something like this (warning: profanity):
“We want this! And that! Less of this, more of that, some of this, and fucking plenty of of that! And we want it now! We want it yesterday, and we’ll want fucking more tomorrow! And then the demands will change, so fuckin’ stay awake!”
Something like that, which has been fairly difficulty to Google for anything meaningful. It sounds like there’s laughter in thebackground, though Ic an’t tell if it comes from an audience or not.
How on earth have I never heard of him before? He lloks like he’d be right up my alley. Time to expand my horizons. Oddly, I assumed the piece I heard was politically-based.
That puts an altogether different spin on it. I’m REALLY gonna have to track down some bits from this guy. Any recommendations for starter material? For reference, I consider Bill Hicks, Eddie Izzard, Douglas Adams, Steven Wright, and Terry Pratchett among the greatest comedy minds of our time.
Strangely enough, Billy Connolly first impinged on the awareness of the American public as the replacement for Howard Hesseman’s unconventional gifted-student-program schoolteacher in the second-rate sitcom “Head of the Class” (which also launched Robin Givens’s career). Unfortunately, Connolly’s American stardom lasted a shorter time than Givens’s did, mostly because he didn’t marry a barely-controlled superstar boxing champion.
I remember seeing him on Letterman a few times many years ago.
He had to shave his 20 year-old beard off for a movie that he was promoting. He said, “After 10 years, I started to forget what I looked like without a beard. After 20 years, I began to think I might be quite handsome. Then after I shaved it off, I realized why I had grown it in the first place.”
He also had a funny bit about the day he discovered masturbation as a wee bairn. The older boys told him that you only get to do it 100 times and then your penis falls off. He said, “I’ve never been so scared as I was the 101st time. It was later that day and…”