idiot media

Have you ever just wanted to reach into your radio, grab the reporter by the collar, and slap him around like one of the stooges? Well, this evening driving home from work, this is the piece of biting journalism I get handed: this reporter is eulogizing Bob Talpert (sp?), a Detroit News columnist who died today. He begins with a recap of one of Bob’s first columns written ten or so years ago. This column was a comical piece on what he wanted done with his body when he died (stuffed by a taxidermist, sitting in bed, da da da…). This genius reporter then labels the column “prophetic”. WHAT??? AAARGH! It was the most painful thing I’ve heard in a looooong time. Does this brand of buffoonery drive anyone else as out of their skull as it does to me? (Oh, and Bob is not to be stuffed, so he did not mean prophetic in that way, in case you were wondering.)

Smart people perform real jobs, such as yours and mine. We must simply accept that there are not enough smart people around to also fill radio positions. Perhaps you could do as I do and pretend that the radio news is actually a comedic program. That lessens my aggrivation.

Hey I’m a psychic too…I always figured that man would die too!


Anyone need thier palms read?


I’m not a shrimp, I’m a King Prawn.
-Pepe the Prawn

Doobeious has a palm. But, I am pretty sure he likes the color it is already.


Radio sucks nowadays anyhow. It’s the Hillbillification of America I tells ya’ll. Youns better stop listenin’ ta that durn kuntry muzic and start listnin’ ta yur tapes and HIGHFALUTIN’ compact disks. Oh my god! It’s begun already, shit! I’m moving to Tokyo.

By the way, when I die, I’m having myself stuffed and sold on eBay.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words’ll make me sit in a darkened corner and cry for hours.
Kyoko Baby,

Bob Talbert died?? Now I’m depressed. He was one of my favorite news columnists (besides Dave Barry, that is).

::slapping forehead:: must remember sig line, must remember sig line

“We are what we pretend to be.”

  • Kurt Vonnegut